By Kendra Holliday | February 23, 2014
The following true statements are not based on academic research and fact, but from years of up-close-and-personal slutty experience.
You know what a slut is, right? A slut is someone who is in touch with their sexuality. They are MY truths.
I’m VERY in touch with my sexuality. Even better, I’m in touch with YOURS.
1. Tons of men have a fetish for hairy underarms.
My YouTube videos featuring my hairy underarms are SO well-received. Men write me reverential messages about them. I thought having hairy underarms would repel people, but it has the opposite effect!
2. More than the half the male virgins I’ve been with are good in bed. I’ve had sex with quite a few adult male virgins. Some have even visited me from other states to experience sex with a goddess. A friend said to me, “It must be awkward and a chore being with sexually inexperienced guys.” It’s not at all! It’s awesome. I’ve been with virgins who are great lovers, and men who have been with lots of women who are bad lovers. For sure practice and experience help, but some people have an innate sense. Or have had time to do A LOT of research.
3. Some people want to be objectified. Check out this provocative television show in Denmark where women strip down and allow men to discuss their bodies.
You can be a feminist and get turned on by objectification. You can be a man and want to be objectified. It’s okay to enjoy sex in the abstract and want to feel desired.
4. STIs are not as scary and rampant as you might think. I had a woman tell me she admired how I’ve enjoyed many lovers and said she wished she could do the same, but she was too afraid of diseases. I told her I’ve had hundreds of sex partners and have never had an STI. (No, Paul Sabrina Holmes, I don’t eat STIs for breakfast – see comments thread.) There are things you can do to reduce the risk – using protection, practicing good hygiene, choosing partners wisely. I also pointed out to her something she hadn’t thought of – she rides her bike around downtown Chicago on a daily basis. She’s taking a WAY BIGGER safety risk doing that than what I do in the bedroom!
5. It’s in your biological makeup to urgently want to fuck more than one person at a time – in the same moment, in the same day, in the same week, in the same month, in the same year – you get the picture. Don’t beat yourself up over that fact. It’s normal. Now figure out how you want to deal with those feelings – do you want to act on them? If so, how can you proceed responsibly?
7. Transgender people are everywhere. I’m meeting more and more of them, from all walks of life. They aren’t just working at sex-positive coffee shops and volunteering at the LGBT Center. They’re teaching university classes. They look like cowboys. They look like movie celebrities. Some have been hiding their true gender identity their entire lives. I met someone recently who reminded me of John Wayne – ruggedly handsome with cowboy ethics. It turns out inside that outwardly manly body is a woman named Sally. Sally’s family does not know she exists. On the rare occasions when Sally can be herself, those are the moments when she feels she is Home and at peace. That means 90% of the time, Sally is living a lie and feels displaced and unhappy. Why? Because society can’t handle the truth.
8. Kinky people are everywhere. If you go to the grocery store, you will encounter a lot of prudes, but you will also walk by plenty of adults wearing diapers, men wearing chastity devices or panties, and women wearing butt plugs. There is SO MUCH MORE than meets the eye! And it’s all good. I encourage responsible hedonism – as long as you take care of your duties and obligations, you can have as much fun as you want, as long as you’re not hurting other people. There’s nothing wrong with being sexually creative.
9. Poly people are everywhere. Seriously, the topic is exploding and it’s practically trendy now! We’re seeing non-monogamy and non-traditional relationships featured more and more in mainstream media. See House of Cards. See my friend Diana’s article in the Atlantic. See the piece featuring me in Redbook.
10. People are animals. We are primates. We have feelings, and body fluid, hair, and urges. We are not mannequins or robots, no matter how much hair you remove or scold people for showing emotion. In some ways, we are wild animals in captivity, in an unnatural environment, coping as best we can. We need to be more forgiving of our nature and learn to work with it, instead of pretend it doesn’t exist. To quote from Game of Thrones, “A man should smell of sweat, not flowers.”
People are amazingly diverse and wonderful. I’m glad to say the times are changing. I’m seeing more and more individuals taking steps toward self-actualization and being out about their sexuality. I’m seeing more support from the community at large. The more we keep talking about our bodies and sex in a matter-of-fact way, the more normal it will become. Find ways to get rid of the guilt and shame that’s so often attached to sex – it’s weighing you down and holding you back.
Replace the fear with love!