100 Killer Kinks to Cross Off Your List

By Kendra Holliday | March 27, 2018

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me

This list is lovingly dedicated to everyone who pshaws at vanilla sex.

1. fuck someone who is actively bleeding, OR earning your tasty Red Wings
2. fuck in a coffin or a church
3. genital torture using a starving hamster
4. pegging with a peg leg
5. extreme anal penetration with something found in the kitchen
6. watersports in a water park (ha ha, too bad, everyone else!)
7. fucking someone you have rendered unconscious
8. knifeplay at a sushi bar
9. sucking a dirty dick (where has it been?!)
10. take down abduction scene at Wal-Mart
11. taste cum, preferably on a muffin
12. putting a stick of huckleberry incense in your ass and lighting it until your ass hairs singe
13. masturbating to a photo of your parent
14. putting a fork, spoon, and knife in your orifices simultaneously
15. face sat upon by someone naked and unwashed until you can’t breathe for two minutes
16. shave entire body
17. sucking the horn of a poached rhinoceros after it’s been shoved up Rush Limbaugh’s ass
18. fisting with Paul Bunyan
19. sex on horseback (with the horse)
20. being fucked by someone you never see, preferably because you are half buried in dirt
21. figging using an entire bottle of ginger liqueur
22. double penetration (eyeballs and earholes count)
23. sounding using the chopsticks from a racist Vietnamese restaurant

Who doesn’t love a kinky list?

24. sex with Hellboy
25. consensual rape of a stranger found on Craigslist in the Lost Pets section
26. play piercing using your grandmother’s sewing kit
27. worms in your vagina as part of a mindfuck demo
28. vacuum cube for two
29. pussy pumping
30. filling scrotum with saline solution and then bouncing up and down on it
31. white girl getting ganged raped in an abandoned rat infested crack house by a bunch of black thugs
32. ass to mouth to ear
33. being tied to girlfriend while cunts share a dildo and men use our mouths for their pleasure
34. watching woman be used in each hole by a different guy, then eating the cum from said holes
35. gay sex with a conservative politician in a public restroom for blackmail
36. gunplay ala anal paintball
37. being pimped out and not seeing a dime of the money
38. piss enema after anal sex with no lube
39. being given an enema and then plugged and dressed in a pizza delivery uniform
40. amputation
41. using a kitty litter box while wearing turquoise heels and yellow gumball necklace
42. fucking Dick Clark
43. bestiality
44. cooking dinner using ingredients that have been in your vagina
45. face fucked until puking up the 4 packages of marshmallow peeps you just ate
46. anal fisting
47. forced chastity
48. anal gaping
49. sex with relatives
50. choked completely out

I just got peed on! I’m so happee!

51. being stomped on by a man wearing cowboy boots, then penetrated by said boots
52. being beat by a 2 x 4 by Hacksaw Jim Duggan
53. sex while driving on a gravel road toward family cemetery
54. zentai
55. dressing up as your favorite muppet and then humping a street sign
56. stalking your Sunday school teacher
57. sex with a one of those humanoid sea monkeys
58. trampling
59. sploshing! sex in gelatin, pudding, or applesauce
60. taking a rattle from a baby, sticking it up your ass, then handing it back to the baby
61. stealing and sniffing mom’s panties
62. prostate milking
63. race play
64. felching
65. nyotaimori
66. boring sex with the same person for five years while thinking about something interesting
67. human doll play
68. human ashtray
69. infantilism
70. sex while wearing gas mask
71. face farting
72. flesh hook suspension
73. creampie cuckolding
74. being caged for 48 hours
75. medical torture involving catheters, enemas, and IVs

F A C E F U C K

76. coprophagia
77. crucifixion
78. cupping
79. anal hooks
80. bimboification
81. clown fetish
82. bastinado
83. branding
84. pull a train, then queen someone
85. sex while wearing wet diapers
86. sex in front of a live studio audience
87. nasal rape
88. drinking a gallon of Mick Jagger’s semen and having your stomach pumped
89. papercut genital play
90. all male naked leapfrog game, with Viagra
91. sex with a car (tailpipe greased with Goop)
92. Donald Trump letting Mexican children treasure hunt with coins taped to his body
93. puking red wine and donuts on someone for money
94. shitting in a guy’s hand after trussing his cock-n-balls up like a helicopter
95. forcing a man wearing a pink nightie and handcuffs to brush his teeth with a semen-drenched toothbrush while your girlfriend taunts him
96. anal ring toss
97.
98.
99.
100.

Did I miss something?! I know this got your fucked up, creative juices flowing. Suggest something and I’ll add it to this list and put this bad baby to bed!

Comments

Kendra Holliday 2012-04-30 00:30:11

Fun fact: I, or someone I know, has actually done some of the things on this list.

Reply

    Amy 2012-04-30 00:36:31

    More fun facts, I or people I know, have done quite a few things on this list. LOL

    Reply

Miss Scarlet 2012-04-30 01:18:02

Addendum to number 1: cunnilingus while actively bleeding. Also, drinking urine straight from the source. Oh, and Sploshing. That shit’s fun as hell.

Reply

    Miss Scarlet 2012-04-30 01:21:23

    Oh wait, I guess sex in gelatin, apple sauce, or pudding would count as sploshing. Never mind on that suggestion, but the other two stand.

    Reply

The Bee's Knees 2012-04-30 01:29:01

The hottest thing about this list is how much it made me laugh! You know how deep my fetish for a good sense of humor runs.

You left off shitting in a guys hand! Or did I miss it when I was giggling?

Reply

The Bee's Knees 2012-04-30 01:30:39

Blow jobs in the parking lot of your kids school.

Reply

Swedishskier 2012-04-30 03:48:31

I can’t even read this list. Strong work, Kendra.

Reply

Tastyleisti 2012-04-30 07:14:39

Might I suggest adding anal ring toss?

Reply

    Kendra Holliday 2012-04-30 14:37:14

    Yes! Yes you may!

    Reply

Joshua 2012-04-30 13:48:35

This isn’t sex, how is any of this sexy?

Reply

    Kendra Holliday 2012-04-30 14:36:29

    I understand if this is not your cup of tea. I hope this list is more to your liking: http://thebeautifulkind.com/100-sex-acts-to-try-before-you-die/

    Reply

    The Bee's Knees 2012-04-30 21:13:50

    Joshua,

    Do you see that smile up there? How is that not sexy?

    Xo,

    B

    Also Kendra, will you please throw a party where we can play anal ring toss? That one is seriously going on my list. πŸ˜‰

    Reply

      Joshua 2012-05-01 01:58:29

      The smile is sexy, however 92 isn’t sex it just sounds like the average Tuesday.

      Reply

Tingles 2012-04-30 23:31:29

55. dressing up as your favorite muppet and then humping a street sign

This list is so funny it is hard to pick the best however the muppet one really makes me smile.

Reply

    lilqtsub 2012-05-01 01:09:49

    agreed

    Reply

lilqtsub 2012-05-01 01:08:09

lol.
this list made me feel so vanilla! πŸ˜‰
good work.

Reply

Nicole G. 2012-05-01 17:16:09

These are great ideas. Glad I’m not alone in the post-masturbation salad and going kink for kitchen tool insertions.

Reply

BR 2012-06-27 06:37:01

Having someone ride you while you receive shock treatment?

Reply

BR 2012-06-27 06:38:22

Or perhaps one could masturbate with sand paper.

Reply

SheepDog45 2013-05-21 16:11:03

#42 is kinda off the list, isn’t it? But seriously, this puts the Purity Test to shame!

Reply

Di19524 2013-05-22 13:56:56

Fucking someone in a room full of cadavers…or fucking a cadaver…..
Masturbating with an amputated human hand
Fucking someone with an amputated human foot
Giving someone an enema with an equine reflux pump while they are fucking someone else….

LOL. this is kinda fun.

Reply

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