2-4-6-8, We Love to Masturbate!

By Kendra Holliday | March 16, 2014

This post is an ode to masturbation! Masturbation is completely healthy and normal. Masturbation is a way of being in touch with your body. Masturbation is good for circulation and mood, as well as long-term sexual health. Masturbation is a safer sex practice!

There is nothing to be ashamed or guilty when it comes to masturbation.

Unfortunately, many people have religious or parental experiences growing up that negatively impact their sexuality. Take this instance from CapitalFun1:

For a long time I had carried great shame with masturbation and I experience strong feelings of self-loathing upon completion.  I equated it to being dirty, and I should be punished for it.  I connect this feeling to my youth when my mother came into my room as I had just finished masturbating, my pants at my knees.  I remember thanking god I had rolled off the side of my bed and threw my back-pack onto the bed in time and told her was looking for notes to help help me with my homework.  Upon seeing the wet-spot on my bed, I remember witnessing her put her finger in it and then smell it followed by a look of disappointment. This completely filled me with embarrassment and horror which  subconsciously hold to this day.

I touch myself :)

I touch myself 🙂

On the other hand, I have a friend who grew up in Europe, where sex is not so taboo. He was around nine years old when he discovered that playing with his penis made it hard. Excited, he called to his mother, “Mom, come see what my penis can do!” She said, “No thanks,” and went on about her business, without scolding him or getting upset. He’s had a long and healthy relationship with his penis – he’s in his 60’s and still gets off once or twice a day!

There’s also a misconception that you only masturbate because you “can’t get any.” How ridiculous! I masturbate twice a day and have an active sex life with multiple partners – I do it because it feels good. It’s a form of self-love, a stress reliever, and more. It’s like watching a movie – if you watch a movie solo, does that make you a loser? No!

Wouldn’t it be funny if we could talk about masturbation the way we can talk about other popular diversions in mixed company? Like, instead of saying you were going to spend the afternoon playing video games or watching sports on TV, you could say you were going to enjoy a marathon jerk off session?

Luckily, sexual stigmas are continuing to fall by the wayside. According to this article on the changing sexual landscape, “Millennials are enjoying guilt-free masturbation in record numbers – and if that doesn’t lead to a more well adjusted society, I don’t know what will.”

How about you? Got any good masturbation stories? How often do you do it? What’s your routine? Have you ever been caught in the act?


Kendra Holliday 2014-03-16 13:28:51

Aww, just got a text from my man:

“Been horned up. Jerked my shit to some 69 porn last night. Looking forward to having your cunt within tongue reach again!”


Lfh 2014-03-16 13:42:22

I masturbate daily or more when I’m sexually active. When I’m not having regular sex I masturbate only a few times a week. I prefer to use a vibrator than manual stimulation. About 50% or the time I’m getting off to memories or fantasies. The other 50% is porn!


Tony 2014-03-16 14:06:18

Even as a polyamorous man with 2 partners (both of whom I can go without seeing for long periods of time), I have an active masturbation life.

I discovered it around the age of 11 and have never looked back. I am not ashamed of it and own it. At this point, I’m doing it at least once a day most days, and sometimes two or three if the mood really strikes.

I have had partners that enjoyed mutual masturbation as much as I do and it has often been a part of my sex life with partners as well as alone.

With the advent of programs like Skype even long distance relationships can add a bit of mutual masturbation fun.


Ashly 2014-03-17 06:40:52

We have got 2 foster kids both from homes run by the cathlic church. Poor kids just coming to puberty and we have to teach them the a\z on sex. In the homes if there was a stain,on the sheets,the poor buggers were ridicaled and told it makes you blind. This is 2 years ago and not in the 1800s.


Dan 2014-03-17 06:48:32

Married, M66, I’m a proud weekly wanker; to stay in touch with my arousal cycle, stay on my game as a lover/spouse as I age; and to celebrate my eroticism. Always outdoors, in the sunshine. Naked in a chair. With lube and bullet vibe for the base of my shaft/balls left hand; stroking w/ rt. thumb down position; sometimes use an ice cube for temp play and to keep the lube moist. BTW, I require my spouse to wank weekly also; when dating her and other prospects for marriage, I asked on the 1st date if a) not to offend my dear but are you orgasmic?
b) how do you feel about touching yourself?
c) how often. Very important for me that a potential spouse/lover/friend be a happy masturbator.

Did you know that according to TedTalk science righter Mary Roach and her “10 Things You Didn’t Know About Orgasms” that a family man OWES it to his progeny to wank weekly? His sperm atrophies genetically after a week. A must to reload, no? I owe it to the future of the planet to be a weekly wanker, seems to me. Masturbation is indeed a family value around our house. (Look for this in an expanded chapter in my Aug. 2014 memoir, Sex With Librarians and God, “20 things I learned about myself in 3wks as a married masturbator”.)


Dr. Zoidberg 2014-03-21 12:22:39

Masturbation is good, but like all things it has to be done in moderation, especially youth/adolescents. Masturbation is not sex and too much can desensitize a man making actual sex tough. Dan Savage has good advice on this. Let’s not forget the studies that show if you are doing it to Internet porn, you are really messing with your brain’s wiring and chemistry making you not able to get off without more and different porn. There was a great TED talk on the subject. But otherwise, yay wanking!


polynewb 2014-03-22 14:03:31

At least once daily and more if I’m more sexually active. I prefer my own hand to anything I’ve tried.


Buddha 2014-03-24 22:36:27

Twice a day? Fuck. I must be getting old. I only do it once a week.


Buddha 2014-03-24 22:37:29

That photo of you, by the way… wow. Really beautiful.


Dan 2014-03-26 08:46:31

@Buddha: Yes, so agree. Kendra’s tub photo. Wow!
@Dr. Zoidberg: wanking to cyber porn less than? I agree; can be a low-road crutch I think to need the Internet or Playboy. I’m not on my game if I need that or images other than what my mind/heart/imagination can put together. That’s why masturbation is important PRACTICE.
@Dr. Zoidberg: Going solo is not sex? What? Odd thinking here. Sure, not the best sex can be; not a Holy Fuck. But often pretty damn good. A sexual relationship with self is a key beginning to any love/sex relationship. Seems to me.


Fotis 2014-10-05 19:37:37

I’m a 54 yo male married masturbator! I love it and I consider it as a lifestyle! In our family we are all passionate with it!. Speaking personally, I love to enjoy it every 2-3 days.


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