By Kendra Holliday | November 20, 2013
|You really did a number
on my vagina, baby
A guest post by SW, a 29-year-old mother…
For some strange reason, I didn’t think about the horror of what would happen to my crotch from having a baby. I guess I figured people had more than one kid so it must not be a big deal. Plus, with all the fisting, double dick fucking, etc. out there, I figured the thing’s made to stretch. So I was really blindsided by the horror my poor nanny experienced.
I had my son nine months ago. I gave birth at home naturally with two midwives attending. Moments after he was born, as we lay in bed staring at our golden accomplishment, I wanted badly to have sex with my husband. It struck me as a strange thought but I really wanted to. I felt closer to him and more grateful to him than ever before (or since really) in our marriage. There are no words for that moment.
But there was a lot of tearing for me. I had a “button” hole in my labia, which sounds all cute and sweet but in my case amounted to something a dick could accidentally find its way through. I’m sure there’s someone with a fetish out there for that, but it isn’t me. While I was prepared for childbirth with no drugs, sewing my girl parts with no drugs is another fucking story. The pain of a needle going into your labia to numb the area is excruciating.
So I was less than thrilled when six weeks later, all the sewing had to be repeated in the midwife’s office. When, at 15 weeks postpartum, I needed my labia sewn a third time, I sucked it up and paid the OB for the drugs and the “comfort.”
The third time’s a charm, so it finally healed. By now it had been well over four months since I’d had my son and my husband and I had yet to have sex. We were ready to try. But that natural desire I’d felt so keenly in the moments after birth was no where to be found. In its place was a fear that had been festering and growing with each injection and procedure.
The first time we tried having sex, I was so nervous I was shaking.
I was uncomfortable with my body all around due to the baby weight and subsequent stretch marks. Plus, I’ve always required nipple play to climax, but with breastfeeding I was afraid I’d shoot my husband in the face and I wasn’t ready for that addition to our sex lives.
Digitally I was unable to deal with penetration so we stopped. We tried again after a couple more weeks and it was better, but still hurt. This time we tried actual penetration and part of the tip made it but it didn’t work out. Each time we tried we got further but it didn’t feel good. It felt like there was one spot that was stiff and painful in a way that meant “stop.” Everyone had represented to me that 6 weeks after having a baby you’re fine. But that was certainly not the case for me. And the longer it went on, the more afraid I was.
My husband was very patient and encouraging. He pointed out that it got easier each time and reassured me that it would be ok in time.
He turned out to be quite right. It was six months after my son was born before we successfully had sex. It still hurt at that point, but was better to the point where in the right position, with enough additional lubrication, and foreplay, we could have sex. Over the next couple of months it got better.
Now, sex feels better than it did before I was pregnant with my son.
My vagina is larger than it was. I remember in high school and such hearing about “loose” pussy and how cavernous and awful it was. So there’s that stigma in your mind to get over.
But before having a baby, I’d always been too tight to enjoy the part of sex just before a man cums. Psychologically, I’ve always liked it but physically its always made his penis swell too large to comfortably fit (I have big dick radar which is part of it, too.) Which means, when you’d like to say “YES! FUCK ME HARDER!” I’ve thought it but not been able to say it for fear a penis might thrust right through my forehead. And I have zero desire to wear a dick like a unicorn on my forehead.
So I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how easily my husband’s dick fits inside me now. How I can just grind right down to the last moment and press him all the way into me. How I can pull his hips down and down and how I can just get NAILED by him. Today I rode him at the kitchen table during nap time. I could put my weight all the way down on him in the chair below me and LOVED every inch of it.
Now, when we’re fucking or I’m masturbating, I think about how nice it is to be slut and have the room to let a man just slip right in.
The downside to having had a baby is that I have stretch marks from the near 80 pounds I gained (I’m a pretty fit type so this was a shocker.) I’m disappointed by how I feel about the way my body now looks with the skin that hangs loose after losing all that weight. And part of me would really like to go back and refuck all my past big-dicked conquests to fully and properly enjoy those big cocks.
But I’m happy to be enjoying the experience with just my husband, whose loving eyes see my body for what it can do and who I am. I’m happy I don’t have to go through the self-consciousness I would certainly feel with a stranger. I’m happy to be with a man I love, exploring the newness of sex after childbirth.