By Kendra Holliday | February 23, 2012
This girl is 14 years old.
Are All Men Pedophiles?, a documentary premiering next week at The Queens World Film Festival 2012 in New York City, is already creating a lot of furious discussion by people who have not yet seen it.
Good! This topic sorely needs discussion.
So often sensitive or taboo subjects are avoided, and it’s better to be open and honest about them so we can gain a better understanding of ourselves and those around us.
Let’s start with a simple question: Are we, as a society, sexually attracted to youth? Yes or no?
What is youth?
Youth: the appearance, freshness, vigor, spirit, etc., characteristic of one who is young.
the time of being young; early life: His youth was spent on the farm.
the period of life from puberty to the attainment of full growth; adolescence.
the first or early period of anything.
Have you ever been attracted to a woman, only to find out later she is 13 years old?
Therefore, this film asks: what is the difference between you and pedophiles?
From the film’s synopsis:
We live in a society that condemns pedophiles, though biological instinct and world cultures throughout history suggest that an attraction to adolescents is as natural as it is unavoidable. The fashion industry on the one hand sexualizes ever-younger girls while those who act on these instincts are reviled. The apparent hypocrisy at the heart of society forces the question: What do we mean when we talk about Pedophilia? Are All Men Pedophiles?
Before we go any further, let’s define pedophile. In clinical terms, a pedophile is a person at least 16 years of age and five years older than the pre-pubescent youth they are sexually attracted to. If a 10 year old is attracted to another 10 year old, does that make them a pedophile? According to this definition, no.
The legal definition varies widely – the age of consent around the world is anywhere from 9 years old to 20 years old. The Western standard is 18 years old.
If a person is 24 and is in a relationship with a 16 yr old, is that wrong? What about 30 and 16? 40 and 16?
The film argues that girls mature sooner than boys, and for thousands of years our life expectancy was 33 so it made sense to reproduce as soon as the woman came of age (began menses)
These days, girls are developing into women earlier (11-14 instead of 16), PLUS we are living longer are a species. This shift is significant.
What’s more, we live in a society that is not conducive to emotional maturity, which is admittedly a serious issue. What’s the reasoning behind the genital shaving fad? Many people say they do it because it feels more comfortable for them, but are they talking physical or mental?
Let’s Talk Numbers
If sex with children is wrong, why does it figure prominently in so many religions? Mary was 12 or 15 when she was divinely fucked by God. Throughout history, the average age for a female’s first birth was 13.
In 2012, the Jewish bar mitzvah still marks the age of 13 when a boy becomes a man – really?! They haven’t thought to adjust this ceremony to take place at 16 or 18?
How old were you when you first started thinking about sex? I was 9 years old. How old were you when you started experimenting with sex? 16? 14? 12?
I was 9 years old. And it wasn’t consensual. I was molested by my older adopted brother. He molested my younger siblings as well. According to the clinical definition, that makes him a pedophile. I told my parents, and they had to fight the courts to get him removed from the home. They had to prove to the legal system they were unfit parents in order to keep their younger children safe. It took months, and they locked him in the basement at night to keep him away from us. He moved away and I don’t have contact with him, but I know he married a woman with daughters. I wonder if he chose to molest his stepdaughters.
Many argue that to use the word “pedophilia” is misleading, that technically most people are attracted to teeangers, which makes them a hebephiliac. Does that make it better? How come the word “hebephilia” is not widely used by the media? This film attempts to mirror society and analyze the truths behind the hateful, fear-inducing stories.
MOST people are technically a mix of hebephile and teleiophile (an attraction to adults). This is clearly evident in the fact that the average fashion model is 16 years old. The girl in the movie poster above is 14 years old.
We have priests and other positions of power who get away with molesting children for years. What about all the female teachers who have been busted for fucking their students?
In the film, they interview a female pedophile. Her graphic story was difficult for me to hear. Another shocking moment is when they interview a woman who was repeatedly raped as a child by her father and a neighbor (you can read a similar story here, featuring Quanitta Underwood and her sisters).
They also interview a man who is out about being a pedophilia. During that interview it is noted that pedophilia is an orientation, not an action. The man interviewed claims to be a non-exclusive, non-offending pedophile, meaning he admits he is sexually attracted to children, but is also attracted to adults and does not act on his attraction to children. He believes a lot of people are attracted to kids; they just won’t dare to acknowledge it.
In this article “Who Is Hurting the Children? The Political Psychology of Pedophilia in American Society,” by Dr. Michael Bader, he poses the question:
Why does the act of sexually molesting a child seem to command our collective outrage and desire for vengeance, while acts of ignoring, humiliating, or starving that same child do not? After all, no one goes to jail for the crime of “narcissistically using your child as an extension of yourself,” or “demeaning your children because you feel demeaned,” or “being so drunk and depressed that your children have to raise themselves.”
I think that our defense of childhood virtue and innocence is so extreme because it bundles with it all of the ways that we, ourselves, feel–but cannot acknowledge feeling–afraid, rejected, unfairly taken advantage of, betrayed, subordinated to the self-interests of others, and helpless. At the deepest level of our psyches, we cannot compassionately face our own innocent victimization and, instead, project it onto the picture we create of the sexually virtuous and naive child.
What about the weird sexualization of girls in our society, such as making sweatpants for little girls with words like “JUICY” on the butt? Makeup for kids grooms them for future sexual advertising. And of course, there’s the whole beauty pageants for little girls racket.
A friend of mine went to jail for a year because his friend sent him a topless pic of his girlfriend. Turns out the gf was 16 and he got busted for possession of child porn. When he got out of jail he found a job, but was fired two weeks later when the employer found out about his criminal record.
Chid porn is people under age 18 who are portrayed in sexual, lewd conduct erotic behavior. So wouldn’t that mean that many magazine ads are child porn?
Hell, after doing research for this review, I hope no one digs into my Google search history and gets the wrong idea.
The film’s world premiere is Friday, March 2, 9:30pm at the Queens World Film Festival, Jackson Heights Cinema, New York City. Buy tickets here.