Beethoven’s Ninth

By Kendra Holliday | August 5, 2013

An ode to Beethoven.

An ode to Beethoven.

Our last day in Vienna was declared Beethoven Day.

The Grand Finale.

For the past year, we’ve saved up money for this trip to Vienna.

Blood, sweat, tears.

For the past few months, we’ve been listening to Beethoven’s Symphonies in meaningful succession, preparing for the culmination of the Ninth, at his grave.

Beethoven Day Eve, I fell asleep in love, listening to the Eighth Symphony.

That morning, we went to his 4th floor apartment. As I looked at his clock, piano, lock of hair and listened to excerpts of his music at the listening stations, I felt his presence.

I trembled, my eyes filled with tears, but I held back.

A scrap of exposed wallpaper.

Beethoven Wallpaper

Beethoven Wallpaper

His passionate scribbles.

Beethoven music

Beethoven music

The staircase he stalked up and down, for years.

Beethoven's staircase

Beethoven’s staircase

Made me weak in the knees.

Second stop was further out, more rural than urban – Heiligenstadt, where he went to try and heal his hearing loss, and where he wrote the anguished Heiligenstadt Testament to his brothers.

But there, I felt nothing, no trembling, no tears. It was beautiful, but disappointing.

Our third stop was even further out – Zentralfriedhof, the cemetery where he is now buried (he was moved there in 1888).

We walked the length of the beautiful cemetery – over 3 million people have been laid to rest there, making it one of the largest cemeteries in the world.

Finally, after about 30 minutes, we found his grave.

Beethoven's grave

Beethoven’s grave

We settled down in the soft grass, plugged in headphones, opened up the score, and listened to his Ninth Symphony.



45 minutes in, peaceful and meaningful, but no trembling, no tears…

And then, the white butterfly appeared. It flew from behind us and flitted to his monument, back and forth, in time with the music, dancing, tremulous, a reflection in the sparkling blue sky.

Finally, I could let go. Trembling. Tears.

And then, as if on cue, a woman walked up to his grave with reverence and left a bouquet of white flowers.

More trembling, tears,


The white butterfly soared.

Ode to Joy.

That moment made it ALL worth it – the trip, the stress, life, love.

Beethoven lives on in our hearts.

Before we took our leave, I removed the gem I sometimes wear at the top of my cleavage, near my heart, and placed it in a hidden spot on his monument.

My boobie gem

My boobie gem

After we left, I couldn’t stop crying. I wept all the way back on the subway, right next to a man persistently picking his nose and flicking his boogers. Later, we grabbed a cab and the driver drove us to our next hotel at breakneck speed, as if he was racing the world.

That night, we celebrated Austria for the last time, toasting and making love. Here is a picture of me in our hotel room.

Last night in Vienna

Last night in Vienna

I hated to leave.

I couldn’t wait to come home.


OK, thanks for humoring me. This concludes the passionate Austria gushing. Now back to our regularly scheduled sex programming.

Meanwhile, I’m going to watch Clockwork Orange again…


Stephen 2013-08-06 08:10:12

I listened to the 9th. It’s not my favorite of his, but Beethoven has long been my favorite.

I also learned much from your post, and enjoyed reading more about Beethoven online.

What a great trip for you.


sambo 2013-08-06 08:31:17

A few months ago I went to Powell Hall for concert for the 9th symphony. I ha, ver heatd anything like that, very intense. Moving.


Leave a Comment

Please see the Community Policy for comment guidelines and rules.

YouTube RSS




Hey I'll be dressed as a green witch at @sexpositiveSTL happy hour tonight, just because. Come and cackle with me!…


Save your country. πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ


Beautiful fungi on a tree. πŸ„


Just ordered a sampler of moody candles - scents such as baba yaga, lycanthrope, centaur...