Category Archives: Body Talk
By Kendra Holliday | May 6, 2013 at 1:24 pm
Have you ever noticed how some men are seriously into their dick? Like, it’s all they think about when it comes to getting off? The penis tends to hog the stage when it comes to experiencing sexual pleasure. Well, move over dick, because there’s a whole other world from the balls beyond.
I’m seeing an exciting trend among my male friends – more and more of them are starting to explore their bodies beyond their penis.
Granted, my friends are sex-positive for the most part, which means they are more open-minded than most of mainstream society.
But now, there’s an easily accessible guide for anyone interested in learning about the pleasures of the prostate. This book has been long time coming – it’s been 15 years since “Bend Over Boyfriend” video series planted an edgy seed. We’re making progress – more men are open to talk about it and ask questions.
Authors Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian gleefully reported, “Our partners listened to us geek out about the prostate for months.” Yep, that’s what happens when your partners are passionate sex educators. It’s nice for the prostate to get some props for a change – usually all you hear about it is when it becomes cancerous.
Charlie and Aislinn have done a fantastic job compiling all the info into an easily accessible guide. I HIGHLY recommend it. It would be pretty awesome for a couple to read it together. In fact, this book and a beginner prostate toy would make an extremely thoughtful gift.
By Kendra Holliday | April 27, 2013 at 7:19 am
I’ve had my yoni eggs for almost a year now. I’ve had them since before my hysterectomy.
I’ve futzed around with them off and on over the months, not really committing to them, just experimenting.
(Before you read any further, make sure you read my post yesterday all about yoni eggs so you know what the hell I’m talking about.)
One night, I had an intense phone conversation with my partner Matthew. Hectic life was getting in the way of our relationship and we weren’t feeling connected. The talk left me feeling agitated and upset. Exhausted, I went to sleep feeling like a smelly, wrung out dishrag.
At 3:40, I woke to great thunder and lightning. The tumultuous storm rattled the windows. I fretted and tried relaxing.
I drank a glass of wine.
I stuck my tiger’s eye yoni egg inside me – I wanted something inside. It was soo cold going in.
I frantically masturbated. When I came, I screamed. Then I cried hard, and fell back asleep. I had weird dreams, but don’t really remember them.
I woke to the alarm feeling dreary and drab, not refreshed.
My body clenched the egg tight, it didn’t want to let it go. I had to push it out, and when I did, it was really hot, and some ejaculate came with it.
More tears – this time from my pussy. More release.
By Kendra Holliday | April 26, 2013 at 7:41 am
I found out about yoni eggs by happenstance at one of Shine Goodie’s parties. Her friend Dail was there. Dail runs a collective art space downtown called Gya. A while back, she had hosted an event featuring a woman from Harlem named Makeda Voletta, aka Queen Lioness. Makeda leads workshops all over the country, featuring topics such as sensual strength training and sacred yoni eggs.
Dail was hopping around the kitchen bragging about the yoni egg she was wearing.
I looked for an amulet or something, but she laughed.
“You can’t SEE her. She’s inside me.”
OH. DUH. Yoni = female genital region – vulva, clitoris, vagina, etc.
“So what is its purpose?” I asked.
She gushed, “She helps me stay grounded, empowered, tight, toned, stimulated, CONNECTED.”
My eyes widened. I had to find out more.
Read Makeda’s Yoni Egg Basics overview.
By Kendra Holliday | April 21, 2013 at 7:51 am
Every time I see someone get a tattoo, I cringe.
It seems so PERMANENT.
I appreciate the concept of body art, but prefer it to be temporary, which is why henna is perfect for me.
My friend Alice has been experimenting with henna, and has been using me as a guinea pig.
Here is her first attempt. Before – see my cute little hysterectomy scars?
It didn’t. last very long – the henna wasn’t strong enough.
So a month later, she tried again, and we were much more pleased with the results!
By Kendra Holliday | February 18, 2013 at 6:26 pm
Below are the before and after pics of my vagina, with and without cervix:
By Kendra Holliday | February 15, 2013 at 5:00 am
Have you seen this project by Hana Pesut?
She photographs couples before and after switching clothes:
You can see many more on her website.
My partner Matthew showed it to me, and said, “We should do this!”
Trouble is, he’s 6′ 2″ and weighs 310 lbs. I’m 5′ 4″ and weigh 130 lbs. If he puts on any of my clothes, I’m not getting them back in wearable condition. Unless he uses my sundress as a bandana or something.
So for the sake of my wardrobe, I decided to do the project solo.
Here is me in my clothes:
By Kendra Holliday | February 13, 2013 at 6:50 am
Ed Note: My friend posted this on facebook the other day:
“So anyone who is close to me knows that I have some very strong opinions about the way modern society portrays the female genitals. One aspect of that topic is ‘cleanliness’, or the idea that the female anatomy is somehow naturally ‘dirty’ or ‘smelly’ and therefore women need products to help ‘correct’ the problem.
I found this Summer’s Eve ad in a magazine today and I almost screamed.
Don’t forget your ‘V’ this valentines day’???
Fuck you, Summer’s Eve. Fuck you for building an industry around making women feel terrible about their bodies and their sexuality, and for pushing ideas and products that are actually counterproductive to vaginal health. And fuck you for implying that I need to go ‘wash my gross vagina’ before I let someone near it this Valentines Day. I invite anyone to share this who is tired of being told they need to douse their genitals in floral perfume to be considered worthy of attraction or physical affection.”
So, I’m sharing it.
By Kendra Holliday | January 17, 2013 at 9:02 pm
Since I have lots of awesome sex partners, I make it a habit to get tested for STIs quarterly. It’s much easier maintaining good sexual health when you are open and honest about your sexuality!
I love my sex partners, and I love myself. Also, as a parent, I owe it to my daughter to play safe!
There are several options for STI testing (see “sexual health” on Sex Positive St. Louis Links page), but my go-to clinic is St. Charles County Division of Public Health. You can get tested for HIV, hepatitis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis – for $10. Not $10 each, but TOTAL PACKAGE. You can’t beat that! (they also test for herpes for an additional cost, but there has to be a visible sore for them to take a culture)
My friend just got tested at Planned Parenthood and it cost her $170! I think they operate on a sliding scale.
Here’s what you can expect from the St. Charles County Clinic:
- It’s small and efficient. You won’t have to wait long – they have a policy that if you’re more than 10 minutes late, you have to reschedule.
- They aren’t open on Fridays.
- The metal chairs in the waiting room are cold and hideous. They also have a television that broadcasts scary public health messages.
- Sometimes you run into interesting characters and you can’t help but wonder if they have cooties. You’re not allowed to bring your kids along.
By Kendra Holliday | January 1, 2013 at 1:51 pm
I met my partner Matthew in 2007, when I was living with his best friend.
Matthew was married.
I looked like this. ——–>
Then, Matthew’s wife left him after 10 years of monogamous marriage..
He was single.
Then, I went off the pill.
I got pregnant with his best friend.
I had an abortion.
At some point soon after, Matthew walked by me, and I smelled him.
I mean, I REALLY smelled him. For the first time, free of the artificial hormones that kept me tame and domesticated, I felt wild chemistry and wanted to tackle him right then and there.
He smelled like whiskey, tobacco, testosterone, meat, comfort, danger, risk, my savior, an untamed pear orchard, Reaction cologne.
I wanted to taste him – chew him up and swallow him. Make him a part of me.
But I had to wait.
First, I had to break up with his best friend. We weren’t well-matched – he wanted a monogamous relationship, and I knew I couldn’t live with that arrangement long-term.
I became homeless, and their friendship fell apart.
By Kendra Holliday | December 3, 2012 at 6:26 am
The other night Sex Positive St. Louis hosted a blowjob demo. I’ve always wanted to give a demo using a real, live man, instead of a dildo or other prop.
The first challenge was finding the right guy for the demo. He had to be someone I liked and trusted, attractive, average-sized, good at receiving head, and brave:
He had to be okay having sex in front of a bunch of people. Now, a lot of guys joked about wishing to be the demo dick, but when suck came to swallow, they found the prospect intimidating.
Luckily, my first choice for modeling my oral skills was willing to try!
J and I met for a wet run and, in front of a small group of our loved ones, had an amazing practice session. I sucked his dick, we worked some logistical kinks out, and he came all over my tits. Lovely!
Now we were ready for the actual event!
About 20 awesome people attended. The space was small, but elegant. Our hosts had a beautiful spread of wine and appetizers. The vibe was classy, warm, electric.
He was nervous; I was not. I’m an exhibitionist, and didn’t need to worry about my mouth being unable to perform.
By Kendra Holliday | November 15, 2012 at 6:30 am
Note: This article was originally published here.
Did you know that the average woman takes about 20 minutes to achieve orgasm? The majority of men, on the other hand, don’t have a problem coming in 5 minutes. If a woman can orgasm during intercourse (though not all do), she’s going to require more time than most men need. Basically, a woman’s orgasm is like a symphony, whereas a man’s is more like a rock song.
Jumpin’ Jack Flash
In general, men can stave off the inevitable for the sake of his partner, employing techniques akin to swinging a guitar solo or engaging his audience. Some men, however, have trouble lasting even five minutes—it’s more like a radio jingle—and they’re anxious to build up their longevity so they can properly satisfy their partner. Plus, radio jingles are annoying.
There’s an interesting phenomenon called The Coolidge Effect, which got its name from President Calvin and Mrs. Coolidge. Seems the First Couple was visiting a farm, and Mrs. Coolidge remarked that she wished the Commander in Chief were as randy as a rooster they saw strutting around. President Coolidge retorted, “Well it’s no wonder I’m not as frisky; I’ve only got one hen in my henhouse.” The Coolidge Effect is when a man become bored with his regular sex partner, but gets “over enthusiastic” (comes in a flash) when introduced to new ones.
Case in point: as a sex surrogate, I worked with a 45-year-old attorney who said he’d could go a decent amount of time during intercourse with his wife of ten years, but now that he was divorced and dating, anytime he got with someone new, he had trouble lasting more than a couple minutes, leaving him baffled and frustrated.
By Kendra Holliday | November 13, 2012 at 5:31 pm
Note: This article was originally published here.
I don’t know about you, but I love surprises.
You never can tell what a man’s penis is going to be like just by looking at him. I’ve hooked up with a 6’4” guy with huge hands and feet, only to discover he has an average size penis. I’ve been shocked to find out the 5’7” Asian man with delicate features is a show-er, not a grow-er.
The other day I met with a new client, an attractive, fit 34-year-old. Usually, I get a clue what’s on a client’s mind prior to meeting him, but in this case I had no idea what his issue was. This appealed to me. I was going to get a surprise.
The Long and the Short of It
We met at a coffee shop, and took a walk in the park. Settling down on a bench, he took a deep breath and nervously admitted that he felt his penis was too small. When I asked him why, he cited two main reasons:
1. A girlfriend in high school drunkenly mocked him, telling him he had a little dick.
2. His current girlfriend cheated on him with another man.
When he asked her if the other man had a bigger penis, she’d told him yes. As horrifying as this was for him to hear, he confessed that ever since then, he has enjoyed fucking her with a large dildo and imagining he is watching a well-endowed man pleasure her as he feels he cannot.
He told me he avoids being around other men in the locker room obsessively, and that he was finding himself getting more and more into a fetish called SPH, or small penis humiliation.
By Kendra Holliday | November 13, 2012 at 5:42 am
Note: This article was originally published here.
Hey, fellas—when’s the last time you sported a boner? Have you ever noticed how annoying spontaneous erections are for teenage boys, and how annoying lack of erections are for older men?
In fact, if you look up “Reason for Erection” on the internet, besides getting some German band’s website, you’ll also find a lot of resources for unfortunate teenage boys plagued with erection problems: Erections during class. Erections at night. Erections for no reason at all. Boo-hoo, must be nice! I hope they remember that 40 years from now!
According to evolutionary psychologist Satoshi Kanazawa, the only biological function of an erection is to allow men to have intercourse with women, with the end goal of making a baby. But hey, we’re human, and sometimes men want to use their dicks recreationally. It can be extremely frustrating when the little head doesn’t play nicely with the big head.
As a sex surrogate, I help out men with all kinds of issues. One of the more common complaints is ED—erectile dysfunction. There are two causes for ED—physical and mental.
By Kendra Holliday | November 9, 2012 at 6:05 am
I’ve been modeling for my friend Stan Strembicki for years now, and he hopes he’s still photographing me when I’m in my 60′s.
Here are some shots from his latest project. He found some ruined old medical text books in the rubble left behind by Hurricane Katrina, and has been layering them on images of nude people. He does this right in his camera – no Photoshop.
By Kendra Holliday | October 29, 2012 at 9:50 pm
Remember my last vagina update?
I had a hysterectomy on Sept 6, and was disappointed to have to wait at least six weeks before I could resume my normal sexual activity.
FINALLY, I went to my doctor last week, and after weeks of fog, he cleared me for take off!
He opened my vagina up with a speculum, looked inside, told me everything appeared perfect, but dabbed the end of my vagina where my cervix used to be with silver nitrate to protect the healing tissue just in case.
“You’re free to do anything legal in the state of Indiana,” he announced with a smile.
Of course that opened the door for lots of jokes involving pigs and sodomy, but I digress.
As soon as he left the room, Matthew hopped up and pretended to hump me right there on the exam table.
Then he asked me if I wanted to steal a speculum from the stash in the drawer, but I declined. I wanted to come by a speculum honestly, and happily, I did! But that’s a story for another post…