I’ve had my yoni eggs for almost a year now. I’ve had them since before my hysterectomy.

I’ve futzed around with them off and on over the months, not really committing to them, just experimenting.

(Before you read any further, make sure you read my post yesterday all about yoni eggs so you know what the hell I’m talking about.)

It was a dark and stormy night…

One night, I had an intense phone conversation with my partner Matthew. Hectic life was getting in the way of our relationship and we weren’t feeling connected. The talk left me feeling agitated and upset. Exhausted, I went to sleep feeling like a smelly, wrung out dishrag.

At 3:40, I woke to great thunder and lightning. The tumultuous storm rattled the windows. I fretted and tried relaxing.

I drank a glass of wine.

I stuck my tiger’s eye yoni egg inside me – I wanted something inside. It was soo cold going in.

I frantically masturbated. When I came, I screamed. Then I cried hard, and fell back asleep. I had weird dreams, but don’t really remember them.

I woke to the alarm feeling dreary and drab, not refreshed.

My body clenched the egg tight, it didn’t want to let it go. I had to push it out, and when I did, it was really hot, and some ejaculate came with it.

More tears – this time from my pussy. More release.

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I love Gwenn Seemel’s “The Kiss” featuring bonobos so much better than Klimt’s version!

Remember how I featured Dr. Carin Bondar’s “Wild Sex” last month? Well good news – her latest episode is out, and the topic is virginity.

I just found out about another awesome animal gender and sexuality project happening – this one is called Crime Against Nature.

From the press release:

“What do single moms, stay-at-home dads, professionals who happen to be women, men who like to dress colorfully, infertile people, and homosexuals have in common? They’re often viewed by society as sad, bad, and even a little suspicious.

Those judgments all stem originally from one idea: that females are naturally passive and more caring, and males are naturally aggressive and more intelligent. It’s an idea that is deeply embedded in our social system and dictates much of our behavior. It’s also an idea that has nothing to do with what is actually going on in nature.

Crime Against Nature—both the book and the series—exposes the true diversity of natural behaviors.”

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Hello! Do I know you?

If you are writing an email to a woman you don’t know well (or at all) and you’re requesting to attend a clothing optional party, you should NOT do this:

Hey Doll! is there still room for this event??

Instead, you should do something like this:

Hello Kendra,

I wish and hope that the Holiday Season has been full of Joy and Happiness for you.

This is S, Sandy’s veterinarian friend, and previous attendee of previous CO Parties (including last year’s Fleshtivus, the Sock party, and others…). It has been a while since my schedule has allowed me to attend, and this month it finally matches up! I would be pleased if you would accept my reservation. I look forward to attending.

Thank you for your time,
S

I get a lot of random emails and find the one sentence requests presumptuous and cryptic. Just because you’ve read all about my butthole and threesomes and personal triumphs and tragedies doesn’t mean I know everything about you. Don’t make me search my inbox for history. Throw me a bone here! (not a cock shot) If we haven’t slept together, give me some background. And heck if we HAVE slept together, it’s still a good idea to offer me some clues. Thank you!

Sincerely,
Kendra

I loved dressing as a Roman Empress!

Our first upscale swinger party in St. Louis was a huge success!

I’m so glad, because our gracious hosts Kitty and Hans Von Heller spent a lot of time planning and prepping, and it really showed.

The admission price covered wine, beer, appetizers, towels, condoms, and lube. The glamorous venue got very warm from all the hot bodies, fireplace, hot tub, steam room and sauna!

At one point, I changed out of my empress gown and into a shimmery gold silk robe that I left open in an effort to cool down. I felt like a goddess all right, striding into a room in my gold heels, robe billowing, exposing my creamy, curvy body. One guest commented, “She needs to update her profile pic, her hair is much longer and curlier now.” His partner replied, “She’s wearing a wig!”

I managed to meet almost everyone who attended – 20 couples and a few single women. I didn’t know more than half the people, which was so much fun! When I asked them where they heard about the party, most of them said from my blog. I was surprised – I have no idea how many people read it these days.

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Eight women, one sissy!

That was the roll call for our Sissy Maid Tea Party the other night.

We had an amazing time! It was a dark and stormy night, but we were all cozy with our tea and cocktails, being well cared for by our sweet Sissy Maid!

The women all wore amazing lingerie, nighties, and feminine finery. I wish I could show you everyone in all their glory, but for privacy’s sake I will only feature pics of Sissy Maid and me.

Well OK, here is a glimpse of his amazing Mistress Foxy, who was kind enough to share his services with us that evening:

Foxy is cumming up roses!

Sissy had to point out that she was wearing his pink rose lingerie set – they share costumes.

Here is Sissy Maid serving Tokyo Tea, which was green tea spiked with rum and garnished with sprigs of mint.

Sissy Maid serving tea!

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Lakshmi, Goddess of Prosperity

Remember back a year or two ago when I was running around begging people for money for my legal defense fund? I was in such a desperate place back then, and SO appreciated everyone who came forward to help me out during my scary, dark time.

Altogether, over $3000 was raised on my behalf, and my story had a happy ending! My daughter and I are together, and cherishing every moment! (For the record, 1.) GiveForward ROCKS, and 2.) I just now got my lawyer bill down to under $1000!!! Only $935 to go and I can finally kiss that debt goodbye!)

Ever since then, I vowed to myself that if I was able, I would help others out in realizing their dreams, because Karma is Queen!

These days, I’m in a MUCH better place. By no means am I rich, but due to the support of the community hiring me for consultations and whatnot, combined with having an awesome full-time job, I’m able to pay my bills and have a little discretionary income leftover.

Besides my kid, mortgage and bills, here’s what I like to spend money on:

1. Paying off my debts (it sucks, but it still feels good to work toward a goal, plus I hate owing people money! Besides the legal bill, I have my credit card and now my hysterectomy bill to pay off. My goal is to pay those off and then start saving for a new car or furnace, whichever dies first.)

2. Travel (I’ve decided I’m going to Vienna next summer! Never been to Europe, gotta fix that, time to start saving!)

3. Books! (I always check the library first, and any sex books I read get donated to Shameless Grounds library afterward.)

4. Smelly things (WoodWick candles, Soaprocks, and Demeter fragrances are my favs)

5. Booze and food (hey, it’s part of responsible hedonism, right?)

How about you? What are some of your not-so-guilty pleasures?

Lately, I’ve been indulging in a new hobby. Rather than buy into extrinsic happiness (designer handbags, shoes, perfume, clothes, jewelry), I indulge my intrinsic happiness (giving to others). This is where the crowdfunding addiction comes into play.

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Spice Radio on Sirius XM

Do any of you listen to Sirius XM? How about the Spice Radio channel? You need a satellite radio subscription in order to tune in.

This Friday night at 8pm pst and 10pm cst, I’ll be hosting my debut show of The Beautiful Kind, as part of the MoFos podcast series!

Spice Radio provides listeners “edgy, explicit adult content and entertainment.” Brought to Sirius XM Satellite Radio by the producers of Spice TV, the channel will feature “unique talent and daily live, call-in shows that take you into the world of adult entertainment.” Looking at Spice Radio’s programming lineup, the channel appears to be much more risqué than Sirius XM’s Playboy Radio channel, fully taking advantage of Satellite Radio’s uncensored freedom.

Jade, Winner of RFT's Best Sex Blog 2011!

That’s a good thing – I’m interviewing Jade, one of the most provocative women in St. Louis!

Have you ever read her blog “Pieces of Jade“? Please don’t – it makes me look vanilla, and frankly that’s embarrassing.

Listeners to the show can call in and get involved in the conversation – the number is 1-800-774-2388.

Our topic? BDSM in the real world! The 50 Shades of Grey trilogy has taken the nation by storm. It seems like women are rabidly curious over the fantasy of BDSM – but can they handle the reality? Let’s find out!

Jade walks the walk and talks the talk – caning, whipping, chained in dungeon, tied to a fence, piss play – the works.

Why does she do that? What kind of person is she? Does she have a day job? Is she a mother? What kind of people are the men she plays with? What are her limits? What are her favorite toys and methods of torture? Does she have a safeword? What turns her on? HOW did she get so in touch with her sexuality?

We’ll see how this show goes. If it’s well-received, I’ll be on the air every six weeks or so, featuring other great Beautiful Kindof guests such as my partner Matthew, and David Wraith. Who would you like me to interview? It doesn’t have to be a local person.

Wish me luck, I’m excited!

So here’s how Saturday went down.

I don’t ride a bike, and I’m really fucking busy.

Because I’m busy, I missed the previous four World Naked Bike Rides that took place in St. Louis.

Finally, this year, I decided to bite the bullet and overbook myself, so I attended the WNBR pre-party, then went to Shine Goodie’s poetry event, then a good friend’s salsa concert.

Before that, I reported a church gas leak in my neighborhood, took a sick cat to be euthanized because no one else could handle it, prepped for my daughter’s fantasy costume party, and fielded my brother’s latest soap opera installment (his crazy ex texted him a pic of her bloody miscarriage chunk, then later called my mom to assure her she was still pregnant and would the family like psycho breeder updates? I told the family to read up on stalker behavior.)

I showed up at the WNBR pre-party fully dressed and a little stressed. As soon as David Wraith finished wrangling signs and setting up the SEX+STL photo booth, he transitioned to party animal mode.

He turned to me and said, “C’mon let’s get this party started. Take your clothes off with me.”

Startled, I exclaimed, “What, now? We’re just standing around. There’s no call for nudity at this point.”

“”It’s the pre-party for a socially accepted naked event!” he scoffed, “so let me exercise my misogynistic rights by urging you to GET NAKED.”

You don’t have to ask me twice, David. OK, maybe he asked three times.

World Naked Bike Ride St. Louis, photo by Kukuwa

I did what every woman does when their brother from another mother tells them to disrobe – I got naked.

Let me tell you, it felt weird to be standing in a parking lot off S. Grand in the buff.

It felt even WEIRDER to have some random kid practically break his neck staring at me, and for lots of creepy-looking older men stand there and take pictures of me like I was a piece of meat for them to jerk off to later.

One guy felt guilty and came up to me and confessed he just took a pic of me using his cell phone, and was that okay? Touched, I told him it was.

I wonder what they would have thought if I walked up to them and snapped pics of them in all their naked – ahem – glory. Would it make them feel weird? Would they be flattered?

I have to admit, I felt uncomfortable. My nudity felt forced at that point. I knew I was okay with it, but what about all the other people around me? What about the children??

For sure there were tons of people there who came out for the naked freak show, but there were also unsuspecting passers-by and neighbors to consider as well.

In fact, it turns out the neighbors complained to the police camped out supervising the event.

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