Category Archives: Fetishes
By Kendra Holliday | May 13, 2013 at 6:29 am
I’ve come up with the following Sex Spectrum – do you agree with it? Where do you fall? Where do(es) your partner(s) fall?
Repressed – thinks sex is distasteful, doesn’t recognize any fetishes or fantasies, thinks genitals are ugly, doesn’t masturbate, is uncomfortable with erogenous zones, could easily do without intimacy or sex, is pretty much offended by everything
Vanilla – holding, cuddling, standard sex positions, passionate lovemaking, oral, watching porn, monogamy, mutual masturbation, traditional gender roles, basic sex toys, sex in the bedroom/kitchen/basement work bench/backyard/hotel
Kinky – anal play (male or female), bondage using silk ties and scarves, teacher/secretary/cop fantasy roleplaying, exploring bisexuality, watching hardcore porn, taking pics/filming, female ejaculation, threesomes/foursomes/orgies, advanced sex toys, cross dressing, pegging, sex in a restaurant/elevator/public place, exploring basic fetishes (foot, hair, latex, lingerie, etc.)
Perverted – face slapping, rape and incest fantasy roleplaying, gang bangs, bondage involving rope, facefucking, watersports, forced bi/cuckolding/chastity, humiliation and objectification, public sex (with an audience), fisting, double penetration, pegging, crazy sex toys (ball gags, big dongs, strapons), sex in church/graveyard, exploring more unusual fetishes (unwashed, period, amputees, etc.)
Fucked Up – edgeplay (bukkake, bloodplay, bladeplay, gunplay, breathplay, needleplay, electro, caging, necrophilia), gimp masks, body bags, CBT (cock n ball torture), masturbating in a bible, mutilation, sex in a morgue, sex with a real student/relative/prisoner, exploring extreme fetishes (shit, bestiality, vomit, pedophilia)
Does this look about right? For instance, do you think anal falls under Vanilla or Kinky? I first wrote this three years ago, and now that I’ve revisited it, I’ve moved a lot of activities up a notch. For instance, three years ago I considered gang bangs “Fucked Up.” Now, I view them as “Perverted.” Also, I should state for the record that I don’t think any of these terms are derogative per se. It’s when you start harming yourself or others where I start to draw the line. And basically, the more taboo something is in our society, the more Perverted/Fucked Up it is.
Personally, I consider myself mostly Kinky, moderately Perverted, with a dash of Fucked Up. And of course I love me some Vanilla! How about you? I’d prefer if most people fell somewhere between Vanilla and Perverted.
By Kendra Holliday | April 28, 2013 at 4:20 pm
A woman recently asked me if I had any tips on how to talk dirty.
Um, not really.
I mean, I can do it, sort of, when I’m in the right mood, but I wouldn’t say it’s one of my specialties.
Still, she came to the right place, because I went out and asked some experts for advice.
Midori: “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. Slow it down, take your time. Pauses are rich. Use lush descriptions.”
Amy Jo Goddard: “It’s definitely not about vocabulary, it’s about play, permission, demeanor. In other words, confidence!”
I don’t know about you, but as someone who has lived in the middle of the United States all my life, I love dirty talk when it’s spoken with an accent or in a foreign language!
Speaking of the Midwest, I was connected to Galiana Chance, a phone sex operator and kink educator from Bloomington, Illinois. Here are her words of wisdom:
Kendra asked me to share an insight or two with all you Beautiful Kinders about incorporating dirty talk into your sex life. I’m delighted to do so, especially since I’ve been a fan of Kendra’s writings for two years!
Whether you’re in person or over the phone, the primary rule to successful dirty talk is the same as the primary rule of any successful sex act: enjoy yourself. Try to spend most of your mental energy enjoying the fact that you are with someone who could have chosen to be anywhere else, doing anything else, but instead chose to spend this time pursuing mutual pleasure with you! Try not to let self-critiquing interfere with your shared joy.
If we assume all partners involved like the thought of talking dirty, and everyone is going to muscle through their insecurities and try talking dirty anyway, here are a few tips to help you and your partner(s) explore:
By Kendra Holliday | April 9, 2013 at 6:38 am
Ed Note: Here is Matthew’s version of my post yesterday featuring a Professor/student threesome roleplay…
All the details are in place. The ladies are to be in skirts for easy access with no bras or panties when I arrive. I am the Professor. They are my students and roommates. I have seen them all semester in the back of my class giggling and smiling away. They ask me to stop by their house so they can ask me a few important things about their education. I oblige.
“So…what can I do for you ladies?” They dance around the subject for a bit. Playing with their hair and smiling at each other nervously.
They finally get around to telling me they are worried about their grades and are hoping for some extra credit to keep their scholarships.
I inform them that I don’t offer extra credit and that if they would have read the syllabus they would know that. They resort to pleading.
“You two seem like you absolutely NEED this.”
“Yes!!! We’ll do whatever you want!” they answer, almost simultaneously.
The ball is rolling in my head.
“Really?” I inquire coolly.
I start circling them. The blonde one won’t keep her back to me. The brunette lowers her head like a puppy whenever I close in on her.
“I think there is something I can do here, but on one condition. You absolutely MUST keep this a secret.”
“Oh yes. We can keep a secret!!!”
I continue circling them. Stop near each of them alternately to graze their hair, inspect their waistlines or smell their necks from behind.
They confirm my suspicion that they are “really close friends” as they start kissing after I tell them to prove their “closeness”.
By Kendra Holliday | April 7, 2013 at 7:13 pm
Ed Note: This is the post that was front and center when my former boss discovered my site in 2010 and fired me for having a sex blog. Um, yeah.
Matthew, Rockabilly Girl and I were up for some Professor/student roleplay.
He told us to wear skirts with no panties or bra. The air was charged with sexual tension, but he didn’t make his move, not yet. He informed us, “The game begins when a glass of whiskey is set in front of me.”
I eagerly fetched him a glass, and with the clunk of the drink on the table, a switch was flipped.
Rockabilly Girl and I stood nervously grinning as he took a swallow of Dr. Jeckyl/Mr. Hyde potion, set it down, then loomed over us.
He was the Professor, and we were his students.
“So, you two want an A, do you?”
We looked at each other and giggled, but he was dead serious.
“Yes, please Professor, we don’t want to lose our scholarships,” we said earnestly.
“You two are roommates?” he asked.
“You don’t LOOK like best friends. Prove it.”
We giggled and tentatively faced each other. Then we started making out, sighing and getting into it.
He circled us, leaned it to sniff us, stood very close.
By Kendra Holliday | March 21, 2013 at 11:59 am
My birthday gang bang happens this weekend!
Everyone who is involved is so excited. They’ve been having weird dreams about it. They’ve been freaking out with nervous excitement.
They ask if I’m nervous. Not really, but I get giddy every time I think about it!
I have to admit, organizing it has been like planning a wedding for my partner and me – it’s been stressful, but in a good way. Almost everything seems to be going as planned, which is amazing. It looks like every man we invited will be coming. Sissy Maid has been watching lots of close up cum shots on XHamster in order to gear up for his special role.
So many women have written me privately to express their jealousy. All the men involved have taken the event as an opportunity to get tested for STIs. My clean bill of health report is sitting on the counter and ready to show my guests.
ANOTHER one of my gang bang dudes sent me this pic as a teaser:
Here is the first one:
I can’t wait to drape those ties on my dirty, naked body. And toast my stable of studs!
One of my sweet girl friends from grade school asked me if I was doing anything special for my 40th birthday. When I told her, she primly choked out, “Well that is… neat-o.”
Not the way I would describe it – I was thinking more along the lines of EPIC. But we’ll see.
I think it will be my BEST BIRTHDAY EVER.
And hey, ladies – I’ll give this crew a test drive, and if all goes well, maybe they can help you out with YOUR gang bang fantasy. Have cocks, will travel!
By Kendra Holliday | March 14, 2013 at 7:50 am
You’ve heard of Whiskey Dick – have you heard of Whiskey Balls? Have you SEEN Whiskey Balls?
Remember this guy? David R.
He has a really interesting hardcore hobby, very sexually creative and fun to fuck with.
I had another Skype fantasy session with him the other day. I had to get into character: I was a sadistic FemDomme doctor who tortured him sexually and threatened him with prison if he didn’t comply with my harsh demands.
I prepped him for our session by taunting and tasking him all week over email and text.
He had to comply with a strict supplement and milking regiment, and if he screwed up, he was put on orgasm restriction and made to punish himself.
WARNING: Awesome pics of penis and testicle torture ahead…
By Kendra Holliday | March 14, 2013 at 4:19 am
From a website called Infantalism.org:
I wear nappies every night, I have been an adult baby for ten years now but never liked pooing my nappy but like the feel of a full one. Now when I want that full nappy feeling I pour a large tin of rice pudding down it and I get the feel of a full nappy, it is perfect and no pooey smell.
An interview I conducted with a 25 year old man who is into being an adult baby:
Q: When did you first get interested in infantalism?
A: I like every aspect of infantilism, and have been involved since I was 8 years old. I got involved in it by wearing diapers and sucking my thumb. When I got older, life got more stressful, so I started using bottles and pacifiers.
Q: Can you think of a specific memory that influenced you?
A: My trigger point was probably when I was around 7 close to 8 and I saw my cousin who was 3 years old getting his diaper changed and it looked so comforting and relaxing to be changed and wear a diaper, so it probably started there but not sure. I did steal diapers from him a few times, just to try them on and I enjoyed it and that’s really when I started liking them and it went from there. I also made diapers a lot of times at that age out of towels, and trash bags, and even my moms pads sometimes just for the feeling of something.
Q: What do you like about it?
A: I am most definitely more comfortable wearing a diaper than underwear. A diaper to me feels like a big hug that does not go away. I love wearing diapers for comfort and relaxing. I like dressing like a baby too, I have diapers, a onesie, baby bottles, adult size pacifier. I just like to let my inner child come out to play when I am regressing to a baby. I like my pacifier and diapers the most probably. When I am a baby it is about comfort and just letting everything go for a little while and relaxing.
Q: Do you have control over your baby urges?
A: Sometimes I cannot control when the baby comes out in me or mostly toddler. When I have had a babysitter, it usually just came natural for me to regress to a baby. I don’t remember a lot about being cared for and loved as a baby, but it is a big part of it of being a baby to me now.
By Kendra Holliday | February 27, 2013 at 9:34 pm
Thanks to a business trip this week, I get to indulge in my cuckqueaning fetish.
Normally when I think of out-of-town trips, I ponder the possibility of having sex with someone new – a hookup.
This time, I wasn’t into that. In fact, I was feeling the reverse. I was a little peeved about having to leave town, so I stumbled across an idea while packing.
I was acting like a whiny kid and having a hell of a time packing, and my partner Matthew was helping. He asked me, “What do you want to bring besides your vibe?”
I flippantly told him, “Actually, I was thinking about not taking anything with me and just forgoing orgasms for a few days.” Usually I get off at least twice a day, so that’s unusual for me.
He leveled a stern gaze at me and said, “Be careful what you say, because if you decide on that, I’m going to make you stick to it.”
OY was I sure? I thought hard on it. It had been a while since we played around with orgasm restriction. There was one time when I went to California and ended up fucking a hot artist, but since I wasn’t allowed to cum, I had to hold really still and just let him use me to get off. That was pretty hot.
“OK,” I agreed. Then I had another idea. “Can you fuck someone while I’m gone?”
He smiled. “I’m sure I could work something out.”
“So I’m not allowed to cum at all, but you’re allowed to fuck and cum all you want?”
My pussy twitched!
By Kendra Holliday | February 26, 2013 at 6:50 am
Remember our transsexual doll threesome?
Well, in the spirit of always taking things up a notch, we added another love doll from CalExotics to our bedroom!
Here is the come-hither info from the box (gotta love the discreet packaging! I put this in my recycle bin along with a few other boxes and of course this is the one the wind blew out onto the yard):
I Want You Deep Inside Me, Then Let Me Drill Deep Inside You!
Long flowing blonde hair
Life-like 3D mannequin face
By Kendra Holliday | February 24, 2013 at 7:15 am
A while ago I announced I was going to try DP for the first time.
We scheduled it for a laid back Saturday afternoon.
Our friend Homer helped us fulfill our fantasy. Homer is a total sweetheart, we both like him a lot – he’s the perfect choice for this intimate experiment.
That morning, I woke up hornier than usual. I got off twice, once with the vibe, and once with oral. Matthew was so attentive and supportive. I’m so grateful to be in a relationship where we can make our wildest fantasies come true!
We worked him up a few times as well – sucking him, jerking him off in the shower, taking him right to the edge of orgasm, and then backing off.
Mid-morning, I felt pretty nervous and had an upset stomach. I don’t know about you, but it’s not always easy to plan anal – it’s something I have to be in the right mood for, physically and mentally. I didn’t want to miss this golden opportunity, so I fasted to keep my system clear.
I ran to the drugstore to get an enema. I bought a bunch of stuff so that the enema would blend in with my purchases, but when I got to my car with my saline solution, body lotion, mineral water, and eyebrow brush, I realized I FORGOT to get the enema, so I had to go back inside and buy it solo.
Me = anal dork
The woman checking me out said, “Have a good one!”
God I hope so.
Back home, I holed myself up in the bathroom and gave myself an enema. Usually it only takes one round to get the job done, but today I did it three times just to be sure. Eek, Homer was going to show up any minute now!
I went with a relaxed, playful look for our encounter, wearing a little crocheted peasant cover that offered easy access:
I was sooo giddy! I kept jumping up and down and giggling:
By Kendra Holliday | February 17, 2013 at 3:20 pm
Here is a roleplay date I did the other night that is too racy for FetLife…
I’ve been friends with this couple for five years, and we had never done anything sexual. It was just about at that point where I decided they were too much like family to get sexual with, when they asked me out on a date.
After a quick recalibration, I said YES.
They could have taken me to dinner and an art show, but nooo – Capn Marrrk and Bianca know how to court a kinky lady!
They staged an elaborate roleplay scene that went on all week!
Starting on Monday, they took turns texting me.
She pretended to be my bratty older sister and said things like, “Dad has been in such a bad mood ever since you and Mom moved out. ”
He would text me things like, “School called. They told me you skipped class. You’re in big trouble, Missy!”
For our date Friday night, they requested I wear a t-shirt and jeans, no bra, striped socks and a backpack. (I love that I’m 40 and can still play games like this!)
Friday night, I eagerly got ready for my date and headed over to their house. On the way there, I got a text from Marrrk – I mean, Dad. It said, “Sorry Hon, I have to work late, but your sister is home.”
When I got there, Bianca greeted me at the door. She and I were wearing matching rainbow shirts!!!
By Kendra Holliday | February 12, 2013 at 3:18 am
I have to ask:
The Pope is quitting.
Maker’s Mark is reducing its alcohol content.
FetLife is no longer able to allow certain fetishes on its website.
ARE THESE ALL RELATED???
OK the Pope thing I can handle. It’s for the best. The Catholic Church has done more harm than good overall. Don’t believe me? Well, if I had a nickel for every time one of my sex consultation clients started off with, “I was raised Catholic…”
I’d be as rich as I feel.
The Maker’s Mark announcement that it will reduce its alcohol content from 45% to 42% due to high demand is a bitter pill to swallow, especially since I’m pretty sure we can put the blame on my partner Matthew.
HE DRANK IT ALL.
Last year he saved all his empty bottles of Maker’s and we took a pic of the pile of sadly see-through corpses, but I can’t find it right now to show you. It was like an elephant bone graveyard.
By Kendra Holliday | January 28, 2013 at 8:36 pm
CBT: Cock n ball torture.
I love torturing men’s genitals – it’s like getting paid to throw rocks at windows.
I work with a lot of different people on their very different sexual interests, hangups, and goals.
The other day I got this inquiry from a man who lives on the East coast. Let’s call him David R.:
“I need someone to help me work through some of my fantasies. I’ve been divorced for one year and have constant daydreams about being subordinate and punished.”
Sounded like a fun challenge to me!
I had an initial consultation with David R. I asked him if he could pinpoint the origins of his intense fantasies. He explained:
“When I was 11, I read a pornographic story in Penthouse Letters about a mother who punished her son by tying up his testicles and hitting them repeatedly. Since that time, I have been fascinated and excited about even the thought of being humiliated or punished sexually.”
This sort of scenario is very common, but under different guises. I wonder how the fetish triggering happens -I mean, he read 20 different fantasies in that porno mag at a young and impressionable age – why did that particular one reach out and kick him in the nuts? (The book Arousal lends some great insight on this topic.)
After learning more about where he was coming from and what he was seeking, I came up with a treatment plan. The first fantasy he wanted to explore was as follows:
My wife has framed me as a criminal, and I have been caught and found guilty (I AM INNOCENT!
But who cares about that! You are her psychiatrist friend, and through a bribe my ex has gotten you into a position to abuse me.
The main goals for you are to:
Torture me and video tape it for my wife’s amusement, and yours
Keep me subjugated for an arbitrary time period
Modify my genitals to suit your purposes
Turn me into a semen-milker, collecting as much semen as possible, and punishing me when I fall short.
Warning: If you click “More”, you will see some slightly disturbing cock shots.
By Kendra Holliday | January 24, 2013 at 6:14 pm
This was originally published in 2008…
We’re downstairs watching porn, and Matthew is ready for some action of his own. “All right, whore,” he says to the computer screen as he closes it out.
Or maybe he says it to me.
He stands up and pulls off his belt and regards me on the couch.
I stare wide-eyed up at him. “What are you going to do with that?”
“What do you think I’m going to do with it?” He snaps it at my thigh. “Now get up those stairs!”
I jump up and vault the stairs, with him chasing after me swinging the belt. I hear him hit the walls of the stairwell
I run into his bedroom and peek out the door. As soon as I see him turn the corner in the hallway, I giggle and slam the door.
By Kendra Holliday | January 23, 2013 at 8:59 pm
I like planning ahead.
I’ve decided for my 40th birthday in March, I’m going to have my first gang bang!
I know, I know, I’ve got my first DP on the calendar for next month.
But you know what?
I DESERVE to be surrounded by awesome male energy. I’m confident that after I get my DP on, I’ll be ready for MORE.
OK, maybe not the next day, or the next week. But the next month? You bet!
Sure, I’ve been to orgies and sex parties, but I’ve never experienced a proper gang bang.
Planning it is as much fun as planning a wedding!
My partner Matthew will be managing it. My brother-from-another-mother David Wraith will be Best Man.
I just got tested for STI’s, and I’d like my banger buddies to do the same.
I mentioned my plans on twitter and more than one woman texted me privately to express their envy!