By Kendra Holliday | October 21, 2017
Category Archives: Fetishes
You guys! Guess what I’m giving myself for my 44th birthday?
My FIRST MAMMOGRAM! Thank goodness my health insurance will cover it under preventive care. They have no idea how amazing they are! 🙂
In celebration, I’m reposting this ode to breasts. ENJOY! …………..
I’ve FINALLY figured out what makes female breasts/nipples so awed and feared!
You know I’ve been struggling with this Topless Inequality quandary for years – remember the Obscene Nipple Game?
A married man told me that seeing his wife’s breasts is always exciting – it never gets old. “Every time I see them, it’s like it’s the first time. It’s refreshing and invigorating.”
I notice with amusement how predictable my clients are – as soon as my bra comes off, they lean down and suck on each nipple, like an automatic, erotic handshake. They simply HAVE to touch and fondle them.
But then get this – the other day I had a date with my girlfriend, and when she took off her shirt, I was compelled to do the exact same thing! I just wanted to grab them! But I didn’t – I was a respectful lady. And that reaction is even with me having breasts myself!
Breasts are like warm, glowing light bulbs, and we are mere moths. Supposedly, moths are drawn to light because of some ancient connection to the moon, which is a feminine symbol.
Sooo here’s the deal – the reason female breasts and nipples are so awed and feared is because
THEY ARE MAGIC.
That’s it. They are a source of creation and life-giving. They symbolize Mother Earth – they are the opposite of destruction. And while most people revere and respect life force and see it as a positive thing, some people find it overwhelming and confusing, which can be scary. The more we can be in touch with our feelings, the healthier we can process the mysterious world around us.
I breastfed my daughter for a year, and am so proud how I provided her only food source for months, and how she thrived and grew – it’s so magical and empowering!
In honor of this realization, I’m hosting a Topless Tarot event later this week, for women only. We’ll sit around in my warm and cozy fairy cottage and connect and bond over candlelight, cards, gems, and runes. We’ll be surrounded by breasts and loving female energy! Our cups runneth over!
I went back into my blog archives and pulled random breast photos – I just love them so much, and am happy to have them. I’m glad to share them with you, on my own terms. Thank you for your respectful worship and appreciation!
By Kendra Holliday | October 7, 2017
In addition to offering surrogate sessions, I also entertain fetish exploration (and anything else I feel like!)
Often, a session only involves a condom and lube. Easy cleanup!
On more rare occasions, a session involves A LOT of cleanup. HA!
— Kendra Holliday (@TBK365) October 7, 2017
This week I had one of those… messy sessions. I affectionately refer to my extreme fetish clients as “pervs” or “sluts”. At first, they feel self-conscious about it, but over time, they realize my playground for perverts is safe, and they have fun with it.
Don’t get me wrong – I looove easy sessions that involve sensuality and TLC, but the freak sessions are pretty fun. I like creative sexuality and mixing it up! When I say, “Let your freak flag fly,” I mean it!!!
Here is a (dirty) laundry list of what we did in 90 minutes:
- Two days ago, I put him in a cock cage and sent him on his way to stew in his own juices.
- That means he had two days of foreplay. Wearing the cock cage puts him in a completely submissive state of mind. He’s like a whimpering, horned up puppy who wants to do anything for me.
- He arrived in his boring street clothes. I made him change into a turquoise bikini and hot pink dog collar. Cage remains on.
- I make him lick my pussy until I cum LOUD. He’s well trained to know what I like, right down to proper tongue strokes – we’ve been seeing each other for about two years!
- Satisfied, I pull down his bikini bottoms and slap his caged cock around. I affix a few clothes pins to his balls.
- I bend him over the bed, condom up a vibrating dildo and fuck him with it. He whimpers and wiggles like a little bitch.
- I take him down to the dungeon and make him my toilet. I have a brilliant contraption another client designed (he needs to market this!) It’s a commode with a cut out space for a head to fit in. It is my Throne. I place him on the concrete floor with his head in the opening. Then, I sit on the toilet seat, my powerful pussy positioned above his trapped head. I piss into his eager mouth, and he drinks my piss. Gulp. Gulp. Gulp… he will do anything for me.
- I make him shower and mouthwash.
- We go back to the bedroom and I FINALLY uncage him. Slowly.
- Liberated, he springs into action and begs to fuck me. I allow him to be a man. I put a condom on his free ranging dick and he fucks me. He loves my pussy. He is swimming in subspace and female energy.
- I stop him and insist he masturbate into the condom. I drizzle lube on him as he frantically jerks off. As I pinch his nipples and stroke his balls, I whisper filthy things in his ear that involve other men, gang bangs, dogs… he’s a cunt licker. He’s a piss drinker. He’s a cocksucker. He’s my whore. I put him on display for everyone to use however they want, like an interactive art display. I have him by the balls.
- He’s breathing like a steam engine and has an explosive orgasm in the condom. I inform him he is now a cum licker. I carefully peel off the sopping condom and squeeze the contents into his mouth. He greedily sucks it up and down and all around. I clamp a hand over his mouth and order him to swallow. Of course he does. He will do anything for me.
Before he left, he offered me a tip, which I graciously accepted. “It’s like a cleaning bill.”
By Kendra Holliday | August 17, 2017
A few years ago, I learned about Mature Metal, a company that makes high quality stainless steel male chastity devices. This is the blog post I wrote a while back regarding cock cages. And now, THIS is a long awaited follow up post!
One of my long term clients helped make my Mature Metal dream come true. He and I have enjoyed an extremely intimate relationship for more than a year. He’s such a creative motherfucker! We’ve done pegging, cock n ball torture, sissification, flogging, roleplay…
He wanted to try male chastity, so I insisted we do it right. Together, we logged on to the Mature Metal site and did research. They have a FAQ page, a fitting guide, and more.
Still, we had questions, so we called their customer service number. Right away, a real live person answered the phone, and was so helpful and friendly!
Matter-of-factly, he asked what we were using to measure with. When we told him string and a tape measure, he informed us that was not a reliable way to go. He recommended we order the sizing ring kit in order to ensure better accuracy.
I’m glad we did! This was a big investment. The rings arrived quickly, and we scheduled another measuring meeting. We had to meet about three times before we placed the cage order in order to make sure the size was right. You have to measure the flaccid cock, as well as the circumference of the cock and balls, and just the cock.
By Kendra Holliday | June 7, 2017
I did this video announcing my new project: No Shave May!
I already have a head start with it, see? My pubes are trying to bust their way out of my lace panties!
I can’t get any of my lace panties to hold up these days. I’ve taken to hand washing and trying not to be too sexy for them.
I find the difference between guys who are into shaved heads and the guys who are into natural women fascinating. As a group, the shaved head guys came off as more entitled and disconnected, as if they owned every bald female head. Even though they claimed a woman with a shaved head was a sign of powerful confidence, they seemed to secretly get off on the humiliation factor.
The hairy armpit guys are more respectful and kind. I guess they are hippies after my own heart! These guys see hairy underarms as a badge of sensuality and supreme confidence.
I wonder how big my bush will get. I can’t remember the last time it was fully grown out. I’ll keep you posted on how my hair growth progresses!
By Kendra Holliday | April 10, 2017
The other day my friend Sissy Maid bought a cheap cock cage.
Here it is:
It didn’t fit right, so now it just resides on the coffee table as a conversation piece. Sad!
That got me researching cock cages/male chastity devices. I’d love to organize a crowdfunding project for him to get a high quality cage. It might be the first fundraising project of its kind! He definitely deserves it – he’s such a good sissy! Don’t you think it would go over well – ensuring one less cock wandering our streets with impunity?
But is playing with male chastity dangerous? Read this column by Dan Savage. Of course the medical doctor expert with no experience on the subject Dan consulted warns against this type of play, but those who have years of personal experience with it assure us that it’s not damaging to the family jewels. You can read up on it yourself in one of many chastity forums. There’s also the helpful blog aggregator called Keyheld.
I learned about the Curve, but I heard it’s not the best.
There’s the Birdcage.
There’s also the CB6000.
Ultimately, I learned about THIS company from a friend of mine who has a caged cock fetish:
By Kendra Holliday | March 17, 2017
We all have a light side, and a dark side – sacred, and profane.
I have a couple friends who bring out my dark side, and one evening I hung out with both of them, and that made for a dark and crazy night!
Let’s call them Ziztur and Dr Doom. Ziztur took all these pics. Dr Doom brought the human skull. They both collect medical oddities and are experts in health and anatomy.
I did a play piercing session with Ziztur years ago
and wanted to try it again. I found it fascinating, and loved how the endorphin rush felt after the needles came out.
So, we arranged an elaborate play piercing party. I was expecting it to be pretty tame, so I was pretty shocked at how weird things got!
Here’s me drinking wine out of a beaker – ha, it looks like piss!
Ziztur is super creative and talented. She pierced my back, then glued feathers to the needles. I brought a bird mask, and voila – creepy bird lady!
By Kendra Holliday | January 16, 2017
I’m a proud pervert!
Or, just look at this pic 🙂
Here’s one of my favorite perverts:
So what is a pervert, anyway? Centuries ago, the word meant “atheist”, or “turning away from what is right.”
I’m an atheist, so that still fits. And I don’t see why sexual creativity and expression is wrong, so I’m glad to reclaim the word as being twisted or kinky.
There’s a great book out that covers a wide range of perversions. It’s called PERV: The Sexual Deviant in All of Us, by Jesse Bering. (Fun fact: Jesse Bering used to teach at a university in Arkansas. My ex took his position when he moved on to greener pastures.)
I’m used to academics writing about sex in theory, and removing themselves from the messy details. So I was really impressed with Jesse’s approach – he fesses up to some of his own embarrassing sexual history! Very raw and honest.
For instance, one time he masturbated to an empty Diet Coke can a guy he had a crush on drank from. He also masturbated to a picture of a naked caveman in a science book. His confessions reminded me of some of my embarrassing details – I used to have a crush on Darth Vader, and when I was a kid, I practiced making out with a Spiderman doll.
By Kendra Holliday | October 29, 2016
You’re always hearing jokes about Roman Showers, but have you ever met someone who is really and truly into them?
I have. Let’s call him Puke Boy. And let’s ask him some questions.
TBK: What is the proper name for your fetish?
PB: Emetophilia. That includes anyone turned on by vomiting, even themselves vomiting.
TBK: What’s your preferred term for it?
PB: Probably “throwing up,” “getting sick” or just plain “vomit” when talking about a hot girl doing it, but probably “puke” or “barf” when talking about me or some dude doing it. I believe the actual act of throwing up on someone is called a roman shower.
TBK: What do you like about it?
PB: Although I am not into S&M and hate for a girl to be in pain, I am conflicted as the tender side of me wants to console her and make her feel better, while this perverted primal instinct inside of me suddenly awakens and is very interested. I actually get more and more aroused as her nausea builds. She’s trying to fight it, but she’s really helpless as there’s nothing she can do to stop it. Some soft moans as she clutches her stomach as she wishes it to either stop or just hurry up so she can get it over with.
Then there’s the waiting around and anticipation of when things are gonna get started, and a chunky sour burp signals it is imminent. She says “Oh no, I think I’m going to throw…” Just then the climax arrives and she opens her mouth and the warm thick liquid flows out of her mouth. No more words, as wave upon wave comes over her. Spasms grip her tight little body as her last meal is forcibly expelled. She’s able to get some breaths of air in between belches and some gurgling noises that come from well inside her. You wonder how such a petite girl could make such a deep sound. Soon the waves of easy flowing vomit turn into empty retches as now just a long string of drool hangs from her mouth. Before you knew it even started, she is finished and collapses on the floor, exhausted and relieved for the time being…
Part of it is probably how this is a pretty embarrassing event for people, and it’s not too often we can’t control our bodies. Something also about the fact that the vomit is from deep inside her, that this is deeper and more intimate even than having sex. The vomit was once food but has now been changed by her body to kind of become “part of her.”
Another emetophile describes it as his way of “consuming” her, and I agree with that too.
Note: I have no cannibalistic urges and have no desire to actually eat any part of her body.
By Kendra Holliday | October 28, 2016
I told this story last night at Dirty Birdie story hour at The Monocle in the Grove…
Have you ever wanted to wake up, chug a bottle of red wine and devour a bunch of French pastries, and then throw up all over some guy?
OK, I admit I haven’t ever thought of that before, but when the opportunity presented itself, I decided to go for it.
I’ve never been The Bulimic Kind, but I’ve always wondered what it’s like to puke on purpose. I feel like I’ve been needing to binge n’ purge lately – a ritualistic, symbolic gesture.
My partner Matthew was very much opposed to the idea – he was concerned for my safety.
But I really wanted to take on the challenge, so he respected my decision. He’s an extraordinary man to put up with all my crazy antics, let me tell you! After all – he’s not my father, but he is my Daddy! 😉
The Roman Shower scene took a lot of planning. Puke Boy (read my interview with him here) stopped by the day before, bearing gifts from Whole Foods and the local donut shop.
My hurl was going to be classy, people! He was going to taste all of this secondhand, right from the whore’s mouth.
I started preparing for the elaborate, gut wrenching ritual right at 9am. I was nervous – would I be able to pull it off? I made up my mind that I HAD to – I was going to MAKE myself puke, and that was all there was to it.
A Fear Factor Challenge.
I had fun playing ULTIMATE HEDONIST – I put on some music and danced around with the donuts and wine (the ice cream – ironically, vanilla flavored – was a suggestion from sorrybeautiful). I felt like a naughty girl playing hooky from school.
By Kendra Holliday | October 23, 2016
You’ve heard of Whiskey Dick – have you heard of Whiskey Balls? Have you SEEN Whiskey Balls?
Remember this guy? David R.
He has a really interesting hardcore hobby, very sexually creative and fun to fuck with.
I had another Skype fantasy session with him the other day. I had to get into character: I was a sadistic FemDomme doctor who tortured him sexually and threatened him with prison if he didn’t comply with my harsh demands.
I prepped him for our session by taunting and tasking him all week over email and text.
He had to comply with a strict supplement and milking regiment, and if he screwed up, he was put on orgasm restriction and made to punish himself.
WARNING: Awesome pics of penis and testicle torture ahead…
By Kendra Holliday | October 3, 2016
My friend Joan Price introduced me to Galen Fous MTP, the author of this book, and right away I could see why – he’s a Dominant father in his 60’s living on the west coast, and I am a submissive mother in my 40’s living in the Midwest, but we have SO much in common!
We’re both completely out and open about our kinky and creative sexualities. We both went through hell and almost lost everything when we came out with our stories (his outing was forced by his ex; mine was more my choice). We both persevered and are now fully integrated and have a career in the field of sexuality.
Galen’s book is called Decoding Your Kink: Guide to Explore Share and Enjoy Your Wildest Sexual Desires.
As I read his book, I was amazed at how much it mirrored my thoughts on sex and our unhealthy society.
We both subscribe to the King and Queen archetype, and to the beauty of rituals. Galen points out that rituals are tools that help us focus our attention. Natural and innate, rituals are all around us – seasons, rhythms, holidays…
By Kendra Holliday | July 12, 2016
Years ago, I acquired this impressive, red stripey strap on:
But it was not great quality, so I got this black one next, which was a little bit better:
It vibrates and is a decent size, but it’s still not the superior quality I deserve.
A friend of mine showed me this amazing corset design fit for a Queen called Cherry Minx by Aslan Leather, and lo and behold, one of my dear and doting submissives got it for me!
Now I’ll need to decide on a good cock set to go with it – I’ll definitely need small, medium, and LARGE.
Whenever I do it, I’m reminded of how much work goes into thrusting. It takes practice, and makes me appreciate all the effort men put into their quest for sex.
A man I know who enjoys pegging with his wife told me he loves the act, but not the term. The term “pegging” came about years ago from a contest Dan Savage ran with his readers. It isn’t the best way to describe such an intimate, loving act, is it?
By Kendra Holliday | June 26, 2016
I’ve come up with the following Sex Spectrum – do you agree with it? Where do you fall? Where do(es) your partner(s) fall?
Repressed – thinks sex is distasteful, doesn’t recognize any fetishes or fantasies, thinks genitals are ugly, doesn’t masturbate, is uncomfortable with erogenous zones, could easily do without intimacy or sex, is pretty much offended by everything
Vanilla – holding, cuddling, standard sex positions, passionate lovemaking, oral, watching porn, monogamy, mutual masturbation, traditional gender roles, basic sex toys, sex in the bedroom/kitchen/basement work bench/backyard/hotel
Kinky – anal play (male or female), bondage using silk ties and scarves, teacher/secretary/cop fantasy roleplaying, exploring bisexuality, watching hardcore porn, taking pics/filming, female ejaculation, threesomes/foursomes/orgies, advanced sex toys, cross dressing, pegging, sex in a restaurant/elevator/public place, exploring basic fetishes (foot, hair, latex, lingerie, etc.)
Perverted – face slapping, rape and incest fantasy roleplaying, gang bangs, bondage involving rope, facefucking, watersports, forced bi/cuckolding/chastity, humiliation and objectification, public sex (with an audience), fisting, double penetration, pegging, crazy sex toys (ball gags, big dongs, strapons), sex in church/graveyard, exploring more unusual fetishes (unwashed, period, amputees, etc.)
Fucked Up – edgeplay (bukkake, bloodplay, bladeplay, gunplay, breathplay, needleplay, electro, caging, necrophilia), gimp masks, body bags, CBT (cock n ball torture), masturbating in a bible, mutilation, sex in a morgue, sex with a real student/relative/prisoner, exploring extreme fetishes (shit, bestiality, vomit, pedophilia)
Does this look about right? For instance, do you think anal falls under Vanilla or Kinky? I first wrote this six years ago, and now that I’ve revisited it, I’ve moved a lot of activities up a notch. For instance, three years ago I considered gang bangs “Fucked Up.” Now, I view them as “Perverted.”
Also, I should state for the record that I don’t think any of these terms are derogative per se. It’s when you start harming yourself or others where I start to draw the line. And basically, the more taboo something is in our society, the more Perverted/Fucked Up it is. And the taboo twist is what makes it so hot! (For further reading, I suggest the book Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies.)
Personally, I consider myself mostly Kinky, moderately Perverted, with a dash of Fucked Up. And of course I LOVE me some Vanilla! How about you? I’d prefer if most people fell somewhere between Vanilla and Perverted.
By Kendra Holliday | April 26, 2016
My friend wrote this essay on Daddy Doms, and wow did it hit home. I’ve been thinking about it ever since I read it on FetLife (republished here with permission):
“I have been asked several times what a Daddy Dom is. First, I want everyone to know it has NOTHING to do with incest, and it isn’t ageplay or any fetish to do with children. I can only say what it means to me; others may have a different impression.
In my view, a Daddy Dom is the most tender of all Dominants. He loves His little one with an undying passion. He always has his submissive’s best interest in mind, even when it conflicts with his personal desires. That doesn’t mean that he gives into her every whim. There can be a huge difference in her desires and her real needs. He has to be able to make that sacrifice for her if need be. And yes, at times he does punish her. This usually hurts him just as much if not more than her, but he will always do what’s best for her.
He helps her set and reach her goals in life, not just in the lifestyle. He will help her improve herself to be the best she can be, not for HIM but for her ! He’s not just looking to make her a better submissive, but a better person in general.
He becomes many things in her life, a mentor, a teacher, a protector, a guide, AND… a lover! He offers her what she needs most of all, unconditional love and acceptance. He is consistent in his actions so that she knows what to expect from him. She knows she can depend on him!
He wants nothing more than to pull her close and protect her from the cruel world. But knowing all along that he can’t! SO … it is up to him to prepare her for whatever life may throw her way and be there to comfort her when things go wrong. Knowing she will run to him when she becomes overwhelmed or frightened. The Daddy Dom will listens to all her fears and concerns, knowing no matter how silly they may sound, to her they are real and he will help her confront them. He slays her dragons; he is her “Knight in Shining Armor”.
The Daddy Dom hears all her dreams, desires and all the dirty little secrets, and smiles because she is bold enough and loves him enough to open herself up so totally to him. He kisses her face and holds her close letting her know she is loved no matter what. She is His little one, and he loves her unconditionally.
There is nothing more satisfying to him than to see her succeed, to watch as she grows as a person. He revels in her daily accomplishments almost as much as she does herself.
He will cuddle her and show her the tenderness she craves when she needs it., when she feels unsure of herself he will whisper encouraging words for her. When she feels ugly he will reassure her how beautiful she is to him … when she is scared he will be her safety net. She is his pride and joy … his main comfort in life … his reason for living. His pride in her shows in the tender loving way he cares for her. Even though she is all woman, she is his little one and he is her Daddy! Just remember, he may be a Daddy, but he is still a Dom!”
By Kendra Holliday | March 18, 2016
My organization Sex Positive St. Louis offers some amazing events for our local community – not only do we host happy hours, discussions, pussy parties, and clothing optional parties, but we also present demos from time to time. Previous demos include blowjob, cunnilingus, female ejaculation, and fisting.
Well the other day, I met a man who loves sounding. Urethral sounding is the practice of inserting rods into the urethra (pee hole) in order to increase the inner diameter. Say what?! Believe it or not, this unusual activity can elicit very sexy sensations for some people!
You can read a good essay about it at Nerve.com – Sensible Sounding: Why I Inserted a Metal Rod into My Penis on Purpose.
He joked to me, “You should do a demo on this.”
I shot back, “That’s a GREAT idea! Will you do it?!”
He was surprised. “What? Really? Who would be interested in that?”
“Are you kidding? This is FASCINATING! Every time I mention it to someone, they either cringe like crazy or ask tons of questions!”
YES I talked him into it!
About 20 interested people attended the demo – men, women, couples, black, white, younger, older. We were fascinated and full of questions! How does it work? Why do it? What kind of man would do such a thing? Does it feel good? How far do they go in? Is it safe? What tools should you use?
Our demo guy was 28-year-old Marty. He reminded me of a young Jack Nicholson, complete with messy hair and a mischievous grin. He had a strong, muscular body dusted with body hair and decorated with a few tattoos. He had some scrapes on his legs and a bandage wrapped around one of his hands. When asked how he got banged up, he told us he skateboards.
Before he got started, we all sat around in a circle and introduced ourselves and shared why we were there. A couple of the men had sounding experience, but most were curious about it; they didn’t explore it due to safety concerns.
The women were also very curious, but there was one female nurse there who found it to be a huge turn on!