Category Archives: Health
By Kendra Holliday | May 22, 2013 at 6:15 am
The other night Matthew and I were getting it on in his stairwell. He had me bent over and was finger fucking me hard, and then he unexpectedly focused on my ass. He stuck his finger up there, then moved on to other things.
The session was great, intense, he made me squirt with his dick, etc etc. ……..
The next day, he mentioned, “Last night I felt something hard in your ass.”
“Oh yeah?” I said with interest.
“Yeah, I’m not sure what it was,” he said.
“Well I don’t keep my car keys up there,” I scoffed. “You felt a TURD!”
Of course it was embarrassing, but what are ya gonna do? Shit happens.
We’ve come up with an “anal forecast” system. Before we get in too deep, he checks in. “So what’s the anal forecast?”
By Kendra Holliday | May 6, 2013 at 1:24 pm
Have you ever noticed how some men are seriously into their dick? Like, it’s all they think about when it comes to getting off? The penis tends to hog the stage when it comes to experiencing sexual pleasure. Well, move over dick, because there’s a whole other world from the balls beyond.
I’m seeing an exciting trend among my male friends – more and more of them are starting to explore their bodies beyond their penis.
Granted, my friends are sex-positive for the most part, which means they are more open-minded than most of mainstream society.
But now, there’s an easily accessible guide for anyone interested in learning about the pleasures of the prostate. This book has been long time coming – it’s been 15 years since “Bend Over Boyfriend” video series planted an edgy seed. We’re making progress – more men are open to talk about it and ask questions.
Authors Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian gleefully reported, “Our partners listened to us geek out about the prostate for months.” Yep, that’s what happens when your partners are passionate sex educators. It’s nice for the prostate to get some props for a change – usually all you hear about it is when it becomes cancerous.
Charlie and Aislinn have done a fantastic job compiling all the info into an easily accessible guide. I HIGHLY recommend it. It would be pretty awesome for a couple to read it together. In fact, this book and a beginner prostate toy would make an extremely thoughtful gift.
By Kendra Holliday | April 26, 2013 at 7:41 am
I found out about yoni eggs by happenstance at one of Shine Goodie’s parties. Her friend Dail was there. Dail runs a collective art space downtown called Gya. A while back, she had hosted an event featuring a woman from Harlem named Makeda Voletta, aka Queen Lioness. Makeda leads workshops all over the country, featuring topics such as sensual strength training and sacred yoni eggs.
Dail was hopping around the kitchen bragging about the yoni egg she was wearing.
I looked for an amulet or something, but she laughed.
“You can’t SEE her. She’s inside me.”
OH. DUH. Yoni = female genital region – vulva, clitoris, vagina, etc.
“So what is its purpose?” I asked.
She gushed, “She helps me stay grounded, empowered, tight, toned, stimulated, CONNECTED.”
My eyes widened. I had to find out more.
Read Makeda’s Yoni Egg Basics overview.
By Kendra Holliday | April 19, 2013 at 5:52 am
Here is how to ensure teenagers get pregnant and STIs:
- shame and scare them
- refuse to educate them
Sooo… how about we not do that?
Our society is obsessed with sex, but for the most part, mainstream culture either avoids frank discussion about sex, or it sensationalizes it in an unhealthy, negative way.
Children find this mixed message very confusing. ADULTS do, as well!
Many people are working hard to infuse our country with an open, honest sex-positive message, myself included.
As a mother, I was keenly interested to learn of a performance piece featuring a teen/parent sex ed theme hosted at The Ethical Society, a welcoming home for humanists with the motto Deed, not Creed, and sponsored by a local organization called Teen Pregnancy and Prevention Partnership.
I attended the program with my 12-year-old daughter.
By Kendra Holliday | February 18, 2013 at 6:26 pm
Below are the before and after pics of my vagina, with and without cervix:
By Kendra Holliday | February 13, 2013 at 6:50 am
Ed Note: My friend posted this on facebook the other day:
“So anyone who is close to me knows that I have some very strong opinions about the way modern society portrays the female genitals. One aspect of that topic is ‘cleanliness’, or the idea that the female anatomy is somehow naturally ‘dirty’ or ‘smelly’ and therefore women need products to help ‘correct’ the problem.
I found this Summer’s Eve ad in a magazine today and I almost screamed.
Don’t forget your ‘V’ this valentines day’???
Fuck you, Summer’s Eve. Fuck you for building an industry around making women feel terrible about their bodies and their sexuality, and for pushing ideas and products that are actually counterproductive to vaginal health. And fuck you for implying that I need to go ‘wash my gross vagina’ before I let someone near it this Valentines Day. I invite anyone to share this who is tired of being told they need to douse their genitals in floral perfume to be considered worthy of attraction or physical affection.”
So, I’m sharing it.
By Kendra Holliday | January 17, 2013 at 9:02 pm
Since I have lots of awesome sex partners, I make it a habit to get tested for STIs quarterly. It’s much easier maintaining good sexual health when you are open and honest about your sexuality!
I love my sex partners, and I love myself. Also, as a parent, I owe it to my daughter to play safe!
There are several options for STI testing (see “sexual health” on Sex Positive St. Louis Links page), but my go-to clinic is St. Charles County Division of Public Health. You can get tested for HIV, hepatitis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis – for $10. Not $10 each, but TOTAL PACKAGE. You can’t beat that! (they also test for herpes for an additional cost, but there has to be a visible sore for them to take a culture)
My friend just got tested at Planned Parenthood and it cost her $170! I think they operate on a sliding scale.
Here’s what you can expect from the St. Charles County Clinic:
- It’s small and efficient. You won’t have to wait long – they have a policy that if you’re more than 10 minutes late, you have to reschedule.
- They aren’t open on Fridays.
- The metal chairs in the waiting room are cold and hideous. They also have a television that broadcasts scary public health messages.
- Sometimes you run into interesting characters and you can’t help but wonder if they have cooties. You’re not allowed to bring your kids along.
By Kendra Holliday | January 15, 2013 at 5:27 am
In the past three weeks, I’ve had three men approach me for a consultation about a problem they’ve been dealing with for longer than I can fathom: their wife is chronically ill, and they haven’t had sex in years. They’ve cared for her, support and love her, would never leave her, but they are frustrated. Drained. They aren’t getting their needs met. They feel guilty. When I ask if they feel resentful, they immediately say no, but…
What should they do?
What would YOU do?
Are you partnered with someone who is ill?
Are you ill and partnered?
Are you getting your physical and emotional needs met?
Is your partner getting their physical and emotional needs met?
Are you monogamous or polyamorous?
How do you cope?
By Kendra Holliday | December 8, 2012 at 4:32 pm
Today did not turn out as planned.
I took this picture this morning, feeling all sexy in my new cute undies:
See my hysterectomy scar on the left? So cute!
I’ve been wanting to get more exercise because I work in an office and it’s getting to be winter and I’m feeling like a slug, so I signed my daughter and myself up for Ami Amore’’s Beginner’s Bellydance Boot Camp. I figured it would be a great mother-daughter activity.
This is Ami:
Yummy for your tummy, no?
By Kendra Holliday | November 16, 2012 at 3:23 am
Note: This article was originally published here.
Not every woman in their late 30s can say they devirginized four men in one year. I can. Over the course of several months, I spent intimate time with four adult male virgins, from 24 to 38 years of age. Two had overwhelmingly positive outcomes, and two did not.
As a sex surrogate and sexplorer, I have a philosophy when it comes to people, places and things: Leave them better than you found them. That is always my goal. When I’m in bed with someone, I want them to feel amazing and very special. Despite my best intentions, however, it doesn’t always work out that way.
Virgin #1 was a 38-year-old man with a dismal track record in the bedroom. He went to bars to “pick up chicks,” but would shut down as soon as he got them home. He’d give them oral sex, all the while sweating bullets as he feared letting them down, which in his mind, he did. He counted on alcohol to cloud the evening, mumbling about “whiskey dick” as he sheepishly showed them the door. Finally, he decided enough was enough, and he sought professional help.
I spent a couple hours talking with him about his issues, which was one key to solving them. Having it all out in the open was a relief to him—it was good to be on the same page instead of hiding his insecurities like porn under the mattress.
We then spent a couple hours in a very open and honest setting—he felt safe and understood by me, which was such a contrast to his past experiences. He was getting to the point where he was feeling like women were adversaries, to be feared.
He had successful intercourse with me for the very first time. He was amazed—it felt so right and spectacular. “I can’t believe I’m doing it!” he kept muttering incredulously in my ear as he pushed awkwardly in and out of me.
The sessions he had with me were a breakthrough with him. He found that women are not scary creatures, and went out into the dating world with newfound confidence.
By Kendra Holliday | November 15, 2012 at 6:30 am
Note: This article was originally published here.
Did you know that the average woman takes about 20 minutes to achieve orgasm? The majority of men, on the other hand, don’t have a problem coming in 5 minutes. If a woman can orgasm during intercourse (though not all do), she’s going to require more time than most men need. Basically, a woman’s orgasm is like a symphony, whereas a man’s is more like a rock song.
Jumpin’ Jack Flash
In general, men can stave off the inevitable for the sake of his partner, employing techniques akin to swinging a guitar solo or engaging his audience. Some men, however, have trouble lasting even five minutes—it’s more like a radio jingle—and they’re anxious to build up their longevity so they can properly satisfy their partner. Plus, radio jingles are annoying.
There’s an interesting phenomenon called The Coolidge Effect, which got its name from President Calvin and Mrs. Coolidge. Seems the First Couple was visiting a farm, and Mrs. Coolidge remarked that she wished the Commander in Chief were as randy as a rooster they saw strutting around. President Coolidge retorted, “Well it’s no wonder I’m not as frisky; I’ve only got one hen in my henhouse.” The Coolidge Effect is when a man become bored with his regular sex partner, but gets “over enthusiastic” (comes in a flash) when introduced to new ones.
Case in point: as a sex surrogate, I worked with a 45-year-old attorney who said he’d could go a decent amount of time during intercourse with his wife of ten years, but now that he was divorced and dating, anytime he got with someone new, he had trouble lasting more than a couple minutes, leaving him baffled and frustrated.
By Kendra Holliday | November 13, 2012 at 5:31 pm
Note: This article was originally published here.
I don’t know about you, but I love surprises.
You never can tell what a man’s penis is going to be like just by looking at him. I’ve hooked up with a 6’4” guy with huge hands and feet, only to discover he has an average size penis. I’ve been shocked to find out the 5’7” Asian man with delicate features is a show-er, not a grow-er.
The other day I met with a new client, an attractive, fit 34-year-old. Usually, I get a clue what’s on a client’s mind prior to meeting him, but in this case I had no idea what his issue was. This appealed to me. I was going to get a surprise.
The Long and the Short of It
We met at a coffee shop, and took a walk in the park. Settling down on a bench, he took a deep breath and nervously admitted that he felt his penis was too small. When I asked him why, he cited two main reasons:
1. A girlfriend in high school drunkenly mocked him, telling him he had a little dick.
2. His current girlfriend cheated on him with another man.
When he asked her if the other man had a bigger penis, she’d told him yes. As horrifying as this was for him to hear, he confessed that ever since then, he has enjoyed fucking her with a large dildo and imagining he is watching a well-endowed man pleasure her as he feels he cannot.
He told me he avoids being around other men in the locker room obsessively, and that he was finding himself getting more and more into a fetish called SPH, or small penis humiliation.
By Kendra Holliday | November 13, 2012 at 5:42 am
Note: This article was originally published here.
Hey, fellas—when’s the last time you sported a boner? Have you ever noticed how annoying spontaneous erections are for teenage boys, and how annoying lack of erections are for older men?
In fact, if you look up “Reason for Erection” on the internet, besides getting some German band’s website, you’ll also find a lot of resources for unfortunate teenage boys plagued with erection problems: Erections during class. Erections at night. Erections for no reason at all. Boo-hoo, must be nice! I hope they remember that 40 years from now!
According to evolutionary psychologist Satoshi Kanazawa, the only biological function of an erection is to allow men to have intercourse with women, with the end goal of making a baby. But hey, we’re human, and sometimes men want to use their dicks recreationally. It can be extremely frustrating when the little head doesn’t play nicely with the big head.
As a sex surrogate, I help out men with all kinds of issues. One of the more common complaints is ED—erectile dysfunction. There are two causes for ED—physical and mental.
By Kendra Holliday | October 26, 2012 at 7:10 pm
You know, I never thought I’d get the chance to anally fist someone. Who does?! I haven’t even vaginally fisted anyone yet, although I’ve been fisted thrice, and it was nice!
Anyway, I found out that a friend of mine is into anal fisting, so I asked him if he would let me put my hand up his ass.
He said sure. He gave me this mini-tutorial:
The rectum is much like the vagina, only with more defined muscle groups. those groups need to be slowly stretched at first.
Because I am male, this may take some effort, but that is part of the fun. You will worry about hurting me, don’t worry. Use lots of lube, start with one, then two fingers and keep adding more and more. Be sure to pull all of the way out from time to time so the muscles will relax.
Each new insertion will be easier than the previous. After some time you will notice a sexy type of looseness that is different than anything you have ever felt. When you hand is finally in, go very slow at first, this gives the muscles time to relax even more. This is not the time to hurry, just get used to the tightness and warmth.
On the next insertion you will go in much easier and it is then that I will let you play any way you want. I will be in heaven at that point and will want you to take full advantage of your new experience.
You would never guess by looking at him that he was into this kind of thing. He’s very manly, brawny. I asked him how he got into such extreme penetration, and he told me it all started when he was 12 years old and his 19 year old, well-hung brother raped him.
By Kendra Holliday | October 25, 2012 at 6:09 am
After six weeks of nothing inside my vagina due to my recent hysterectomy, I feel completely out of touch with it. I need to become one with my vagina again, and what better way than to stick all kinds of random things inside it in the hopes of tightening and toning?
The packaging makes it look pink or purple, but it’s not, thank god. It’s more sparkling and clear in real life, like a magic scepter for an alternate fantasy universe (see pic below).
I have no idea who Dr Laura Berman is, but she better be awesome because she’s very well known in the mainstream media and is influencing a lot of people’s sexuality. I wonder what her opinion of 50 Shades of Grey is.
The weighted pelvic exerciser is comprised of stainless steel balls encased in a solid clear resin plastic. And it is heavy. It’s also seamless, curvy, and beautiful. Since I couldn’t use it for a couple weeks, I carried it around in my purse for a while and brought it out as a conversation piece when the topic of sex came up, which for me is all the time.
“I have a dildo in my purse, do you want to see it?”