Category Archives: Society
A Teaching Moment
By Kendra Holliday | May 9, 2013 at 7:38 am
A lesson on how NOT to get to know other people and build relationships. Don’t try this at home. (Details have been changed to protect identity.)
The other day, a man contacted me via SEX+STL:
kendra love to meet you an talk let me know when u will be going to a function love to talk to you also let me no when you have a nude event or something like that…………..!!
I replied to him:
Thanks for the note! I try and attend as many events as I can
www.sexstl.com/calendar
check out the calendar and see if there’s an event you’re interested in, I can let you know if I will be there.
Also if you want you can schedule a one hour consultation with me for a more personalized experience
www.beopenandhonest.com
Let me know, look forward to meeting you, thanks!
Kendra
He replied:
Kendra! hi. thanks for you note i will meet up will let you know when ok! also is it possible to have a get to gether at my place. maybe a bules hockey game an watch it an bring over beer soda wine or what ever! also like a nude party i woulk like to invite you an 6-7 people you know men women an just sit around an watch a hockey game some saturday nite can i do that i have a town house in south county just trying to meet people ya no. let me know what you think!!!!!!!!!
Normally I delete messages like this, but I was curious. What type of person would entertain this idea, and why would they think it would be an effective approach?
I asked him:
Can you tell me more about yourself? How old are you? Where are you from? Can you share a pic of yourself? Have you ever hosted a party like this before? What are your friends like?
His reply:
i am 44 i send you a pic i am from st louis grew up a catholic am still played pro soccer i am 5’8 145 lbs. blue eyes blond streeks in my hair an i am soft spoken honest athletic i am a nice guy an trustwrothy. I am single an looking!!!
This turned into a lovely teaching moment for my daughter.
I told her that if any man she doesn’t know invites her over to watch hockey nude, AND it’s BYOB, just say NO. Even if he says he’s trustwrothy.
The Baking Kind
By Kendra Holliday | April 21, 2013 at 7:27 am
Remember this RFT article that shocked the community three years ago? Take a moment to skim it, then let’s replace all the sex references with more innocuous FOOD references and see how it reads. Not as shocking, ey? Why is that?
Special thanks to Ms. Melissa Meinzer and The Riverfront Times for permission to revise the article for conservative consumption.
——–
SFW: The St. Louis mom behind food blog the Beautiful Kind is outing herself
Kendra Holliday – The Baking Kind
Kendra Holliday is a total chef. Go right ahead and say it — she does. She’s not hiding from it anymore.
In some ways, she’s always been honest about it. She’s unflinchingly blogged every detail of her baking life for years — she’s a talented, aproned, joyously partnered divorced mother, living and writing and baking (and yeah, it’s a lot of baking) in St. Louis.
Her blog, www.thebakingkind.com, details all of it. It has made her into a celebrity of sorts. It has cost her a job. She’s called it her second partner.
The blog has become a safe space for food-positive readers in St. Louis and all over the world to come together. It’s created a virtual community, and Holliday and some of her foodie friends want to take that momentum and push the Midwest forward into greater culinary freedom and openness.
And it’s hard to do that when you’re hiding. So Holliday is coming out.
The SUPERIOR 100 Foods to Eat Before You Die List
By Kendra Holliday | April 21, 2013 at 6:21 am
I saw this stupid list titled 100 Foods You Should Eat Before You Die on a food blog, and was NOT impressed. Cocktails? Frito pie? Spam? Really? I’m sorry, but I don’t think you need to eat Spam before you die.
So, my omnivorous partner and I (me = a sushitarian, which means I’m vegetarian but eat sushi once a month, or more, depending on whether you buy me some or not) came up with a better version of the list, which is below. I’m no foodie, but I’m a hardcore worldly sensualist, so there you have it. I know this post is not sex-related, but it’s going to be linked to another post that is.
How many of these things have you tried? Do tell! And then next time, we’ll dig a little deeper…
Fruit from heaven
1. Chocolate covered strawberries
2. Fried okra
3. Alligator
4. Eggplant parmesan
5. Bagel & Lox
6. Baklava
7. King crab legs
8. BBQ ribs
9. Young coconut
10. Mango
11. Marmite
12. Black Truffle
13. Borscht
14. Conch
15. Guacamole
16. Caviar
17. Cheese Fondue
18. Habanero pepper
19. Vegetable korma
20. Chile relleno
21. Chilled cherry soup
22. Ceviche
23. New England Clam Chowder
24. Pomegranate
25. Calamari
26. Crickets, larvae, locusts, or some other insect
27. Garlic stuffed olives
28. Dandelions (leaves, flowers or roots)
29. Fresh pineapple
Riding the Middle School Roller Coaster
By Kendra Holliday | March 15, 2013 at 5:17 pm
There’s nothing better than a close relationship with your child
I have a 12-year-old daughter who is in her first year of middle school.
Last September, I received a grim phone call from her counselor. I needed to come pick up my daughter right away. Said daughter was so stressed out, she expressed the desire to hurt herself.
Immediately, my skin prickled and my heart dropped to my stomach. At the same time, I felt numb. I fled work to rescue my magic weirdo child. She wasn’t allowed to come back to school until she was assessed by a health care professional and deemed safe to return.
I rushed her to a therapist that night. We adjusted her mood-disorder medication (she’s been taking meds for five years.) When I asked my daughter what was bothering her the most, she told me:
1.) her mind
2.) social awkwardness
3.) worrying about the people around her
She said she felt like a butterfly – fragile. Her best friend, who was more of a lioness, had moved away over the summer, and she felt very alone.
My Daughter is Today’s Sojourner Truth
By Kendra Holliday | March 8, 2013 at 2:16 am
Righteous!
Today is International Women’s Day.
My 12-year-old daughter’s teacher asked her to write a poem in honor of women everywhere.
Here is what she belted out in 15 minutes, using brains, a pencil, and wide-lined, loose-leaf paper:
Underestimation
What? You want me to stay home?
While you join the army,
Or hang out with your friends,
Or vote for my future?
MY future?
Why can’t I choose what I do?
Let’s start with my body.
Why can’t I choose whether to or not I get an abortion?
It’s always you men saying yes or no,
But you’ll never even be having this baby.
It should be MY choice.
You tell me that I’m not pretty enough,
Because my breasts are too small.
Why should I care?
They are mine, and that’s
a god-given fact.
Do I need to fit what you call “perfect”?
Wearing His Clothes
By Kendra Holliday | February 15, 2013 at 5:00 am
Have you seen this project by Hana Pesut?
She photographs couples before and after switching clothes:
Kelly and Tim. Photo project by Hana Pesut
You can see many more on her website.
My partner Matthew showed it to me, and said, “We should do this!”
Trouble is, he’s 6′ 2″ and weighs 310 lbs. I’m 5′ 4″ and weigh 130 lbs. If he puts on any of my clothes, I’m not getting them back in wearable condition. Unless he uses my sundress as a bandana or something.
So for the sake of my wardrobe, I decided to do the project solo.
Here is me in my clothes:
I weigh a size 8
WHAT Is This World Coming To???
By Kendra Holliday | February 12, 2013 at 3:18 am
All hell is breaking loose! Women attacking David Wraith. (I’m in hockey mask – YES!) Photo by Molly Algernon.
I have to ask:
The Pope is quitting.
Maker’s Mark is reducing its alcohol content.
FetLife is no longer able to allow certain fetishes on its website.
ARE THESE ALL RELATED???
OK the Pope thing I can handle. It’s for the best. The Catholic Church has done more harm than good overall. Don’t believe me? Well, if I had a nickel for every time one of my sex consultation clients started off with, “I was raised Catholic…”
I’d be as rich as I feel.
The Maker’s Mark announcement that it will reduce its alcohol content from 45% to 42% due to high demand is a bitter pill to swallow, especially since I’m pretty sure we can put the blame on my partner Matthew.
HE DRANK IT ALL.
Last year he saved all his empty bottles of Maker’s and we took a pic of the pile of sadly see-through corpses, but I can’t find it right now to show you. It was like an elephant bone graveyard.
What Happens to Sex When Your Partner is Ill?
By Kendra Holliday | January 15, 2013 at 5:27 am
Ivanyi, Lovers, 1909
In the past three weeks, I’ve had three men approach me for a consultation about a problem they’ve been dealing with for longer than I can fathom: their wife is chronically ill, and they haven’t had sex in years. They’ve cared for her, support and love her, would never leave her, but they are frustrated. Drained. They aren’t getting their needs met. They feel guilty. When I ask if they feel resentful, they immediately say no, but…
What should they do?
What would YOU do?
Are you partnered with someone who is ill?
Are you ill and partnered?
Are you getting your physical and emotional needs met?
Is your partner getting their physical and emotional needs met?
Are you monogamous or polyamorous?
How do you cope?
Sex Workers Are Everywhere
By Kendra Holliday | January 10, 2013 at 6:29 am
Just yesterday, I saw these stories in the media:
I Am Not A Prostitute Because My Husband Supports Me
Is a Sex Surrogate a Sex Worker or Therapist?
and then there’s this sad story: Fired from her schoolteaching job after revealing she had once been a Craigslist call girl, Melissa Petro describes the world that awaits people who leave the trade.
Sex work can be a beautiful thing.
Notice the shame surrounding these stories.
I notice that the only way a woman can speak openly about her personal experience as a sex worker is if she qualifies that she is a FORMER sex worker. She can’t talk freely about it if she currently provides sexual services for money. You know why? Because in most places it’s illegal, and there’s an awful stigma attached to it. Which is stupid.
Repeat after me:
Sex work is not wrong.
Prostitute is not a bad word.
Quite comparing women to whores like it’s a bad thing.
I’m a sex worker/prostitute/whore/sex surrogate, and I’m proud of it.
The sex work I know is fulfilling, healing, beautiful, sacred, and therapeutic. It’s also fun.
So get over it already and go thank a sex worker. They’re everywhere!
Sheri’s Ranch: Where Fantasies Cum True
By Kendra Holliday | January 8, 2013 at 8:15 pm
Have you ever been to a brothel? I haven’t, but would love to check one out firsthand!
I got a press release from one the other day that caught my attention:
SHERI’S RANCH LAUNCHES SEXUAL FANTASY ROLE PLAYING EXPERIENCE WITH “SHERI’S PLAYLAND”
Legal Nevada brothel lets clients live out their fantasies in detail…
Photo from Sheri’s Ranch website
LAS VEGAS, Nevada (December 27th, 2012) – The Resort & Spa at Sheri’s Ranch, a legal brothel located outside of Las Vegas announces the launch of “Sheri’s Playland,” a new wing of six bungalows designed to fulfill the most common sexual fantasies requested by the brothel’s clientele.
Sheri’s Playland allows clients to be the star of their very own sexual fantasy, playing out their desires with one or more of Sheri’s ladies in a fully-constructed bungalow, dressed like a movie set that convincingly mirrors the real-world setting of the fantasy.
Sheri’s Playland was created to provide highly detailed and immersive erotic scenarios such as:
• Lustful Locker Room: teaming with steamy cheerleaders undressing after a big game, clients can watch the girls through a playful peephole or join them for a lesson on straddles and splits. This bungalow comes with a sex swing, so that visitors can explore every imaginable position with a gorgeous cheerleader. The sex swing allows ease of
movement for numerous sexual positions and enhances sex for disabled individuals and people with muscle or back conditions by providing a hoist.
• Naughty Classroom: Discipline must be dealt to Sheri’s misbehaving schoolgirls, and the customer is the lucky teacher assigned to the task. Bad girls and boys must wear a “dunce” hat and be spanked with the paddle. The naughty after-school activities are only limited to what clients can imagine.
Crime Against Nature
By Kendra Holliday | January 4, 2013 at 6:32 am
I love Gwenn Seemel’s “The Kiss” featuring bonobos so much better than Klimt’s version!
Remember how I featured Dr. Carin Bondar’s “Wild Sex” last month? Well good news – her latest episode is out, and the topic is virginity.
I just found out about another awesome animal gender and sexuality project happening – this one is called Crime Against Nature.
From the press release:
“What do single moms, stay-at-home dads, professionals who happen to be women, men who like to dress colorfully, infertile people, and homosexuals have in common? They’re often viewed by society as sad, bad, and even a little suspicious.
Those judgments all stem originally from one idea: that females are naturally passive and more caring, and males are naturally aggressive and more intelligent. It’s an idea that is deeply embedded in our social system and dictates much of our behavior. It’s also an idea that has nothing to do with what is actually going on in nature.
Crime Against Nature—both the book and the series—exposes the true diversity of natural behaviors.”
The Things My Man Has Endured
By Kendra Holliday | January 2, 2013 at 6:50 am
Look how crazy I am ROWR!
In my post yesterday about my extraordinary relationship, I mused:
“I know some people say they married their best friend, and thank him for putting up with their mood swings or weird habits or whatever, but I’m pretty sure I take that to the next level, and I must say I’m very grateful I’ve found someone who accepts me for who I am…”
I started thinking about the crazy shit I’ve been through the past five years, and how amazing it is that my partner Matthew has tolerated so much of it. In the past I’ve had men balk at my high sex drive, desire for rough sex, or the fact that I like experiencing other people sexually (even though they also want that – go figure!)
I need to go to bed.
So, without further ado, here are some of the things he’s put up with the past five years, yet he still loves me more than ever:
I’ve
- been bisexual and trysexual
- been homeless
- been sexually assaulted by someone from my past
- slept with dozens of interesting men and women
- acted like a dog bitch for money
- done a nude sploshing photoshoot with applesauce
- done loads of nude modeling
Who Wants to Make Love Not Porn Around Here? I Do!
By Kendra Holliday | December 26, 2012 at 5:36 am
Cindy Gallop. Photograph: Johannes Simon/Getty Images
OK, a little background here.
In 2009, Cindy Gallop created this bold informational site called Make Love Not Porn and gave this even bolder TED talk about how, while porn is great entertainment, it isn’t the best way to learn about your sexuality and how to please your partner. TED couldn’t show her talk in their main run, but felt it worthwhile to share on a lower level where children might not find it as easily.
Her message made an impact, so the next obvious step was to create a sex-positive porn site for everyone – a site that allowed people to share their videos and watch others express their sexuality in myriad of ways – not staged or fake, but real, funny, beautiful, sexy – real bodies, real people, real situations.
The site is called MAKE LOVE NOT PORN TV.
Right now it’s in beta, and I’m a member. I’ve had a peek inside, and I’m enamored!
In fact, I’ve decided I want my very first porn to be featured on this site. It would be such an exciting honor! So, that’s one of my 2013 goals.
Meanwhile, this startup has faced some serious obstacles.
Wild Sex With Dr. Carin Bondar
By Kendra Holliday | December 13, 2012 at 6:40 am
Dr. Carin Bondar. Don’t hate her because she’s beautiful
Proof that people will complain about ANYTHING: Some criticize Dr. Carin Bondar for being too attractive.
You be the judge: is this woman too beautiful to be a biologist? Is there a rule that you have to choose between being a model or a scientist? Well, EXCUUUSE her for blurring the line, people.
Speaking of blurring the line, I have news for you: Humans are animals.
They are not mannequins.
They are not robots.
They are not sculptures.
They are animals.
That’s why we have body fluids, hair, feelings, and anything else that might be considered a “flaw” in uptight society.
And that is why we should be interested in biology and the sex lives of animals, because despite the fact that pigs have corkscrew shaped penises and dolphins are horny bastards, we have more in common with other species than you might think (reminder: horny bastard). You can even relate human behavior to the sex lives of insects!
Which brings us to Carin’s latest project: an online EarthTouch series called Wild Sex. It’s all about the sex lives of animals. And it actually shows some animals DOING IT. Which is considered PORN when it’s human animals filmed in the same context, but EDUCATIONAL when other animals are filmed doing it. Go figure.
Here’s a not-so-wholesome example of the series (any of you into Domme women and sub boys will especially like this one!):
Did you not appreciate the Dances With Wolves sequence? Is that what Elvis had in mind when he sang Stuck on You?
The most important thing I learned from watching all of her published episodes (more are on their way!) is that the tapir has a prehensile penis THE SIZE OF HIS LEG. You can watch Carin’s frisky penis size episode here. But for right now, let’s have a penis sneak preview. The tapir SCRATCHES HIS SHOULDER WITH HIS PENIS.
Is there a tapir furry costume? Because there should be.
I thought for sure the animal with the largest penis relative to his body would be the blue whale, but I was very wrong. You can find out the correct answer by watching the episode here. Oh, and by the way – the reason why she comes off as such a size queen is because she was mocking all the men who brag about their penis size. Anyone out there with SPH? Queue up, boys – Dr. Bondar has a lesson for you.
I just bought Carin’s book, The Nature of Human Nature
But hey – I LOVE YOU FOR IT.
Safe Porn Sites
By Kendra Holliday | December 11, 2012 at 7:44 am
Choose your porn sites wisely!
Recently I was asked if I could recommend any good porn sites that won’t give you a computer virus. I consulted with a couple of porn experts, and the following list is what they came up with. Note: some of these do have pop-ups, but they aren’t dangerous.
Incidentally, did you know a 2010 study suggested that porn sites are safer to visit than normal sites? You can read details here. And here’s a 2012 report stating that porn sites are safer to browse than religious sites!
What are your favorite porn sites? And remember – if you appreciate a certain porn actor or company, be sure and contribute financially to their good efforts in order to ensure they stick around! Supporting the industry is the safest and most ethical way to enjoy porn!
