Cock n’ Bull

By Kendra Holliday | January 21, 2014 at 7:00 pm

The other day I went to a Chinese restaurant called Asiana Garden with a friend of mine who is Chinese. The plan was for him to order all kinds of exotic vegetarian food for me to try. When we sat down I told J, “One of the reasons why this is my favorite Chinese restaurant is because they have BULL PENIS on the menu.”

Mmm, hot wet bull penis!

Mmm, hot wet bull penis!

“What? Really?”

“Yes! Look!” I pointed it out to him.

“I’ll get it.”

“NO WAY!” I crowed.

“Oh, sure. Chinese Food Fear Factor. I’ve had dog before. And there’s this dish called The Duel of the Tiger and Dragon that has cat and snake in it. ”

“WHOAH.” I’m used to just being grossed out by people eating bacon and steak!

When the server came to take our order, I silently hoped J would order in Chinese, and he totally did, and it was totally hot.

He ordered “greasy stick,” which are like unsweet long johns you dip in sweetened, warm soy milk, this melon dish that reminded me of cucumber, diced tofu and 1,000 year old egg (they used to cure the eggs in horse urine, now they just use lye), a beautiful seaweed and egg soup I called “mermaid soup,” and for himself, the bull penis and a soup with intestines and pig blood. (Now for all of you going ewww right now, please bear in mind that pepperoni is nothing but blood, fat, and salt, and that bologna has cow vagina in it.)

We ate our food and I alternately freaked out over all the amazing flavors, and by the bull penis sitting next to me on the table. There was a lot of food we had to work our way through, so finally I said to J admonishingly, “You haven’t even touched your penis yet.”

He said it was good. I’m just wondering one more thing: now that he’s eaten this dish, does that make him gay? Or just bull-curious?

What’s the weirdest thing YOU’VE ever eaten?

Don’t forget to check out my food list “The SUPERIOR 100 Foods to Eat Before You Die“!

Comments

Dan 2014-01-22 19:47:04

At a men’s retreat 3 years back, I looked at a Fun Fear Factor exercise:

a) live termites and wiggling termite grubs retrieved fro wood stumps
b) cat food
c) banana slug
d) cow tongue
e) live ants
f) my mind now fails me on the rest; thank God.

We could prove our Manhood among the Menn and be all Baddass with our survival skills and eat away.

I ate. Away. Sandwich. At the table. Yukaroony.

Bull penis? My hat and my pants are off to all with the courage to try.

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