Kinky Stories & Relationship / Sex Advice

The Beautiful Kind's Top 10 Comments, 2008

By The Beautiful Kind

I've been told that half the fun of this blog can be found in the comments. I love when my readers add value, humor, insight, and their own experiences. Here are some of my favorites from this year: I've been told that half the fun of this blog can be found in the comments. I love when my readers add value, humor, insight, and their own experiences. Here are some of my favorites from this year:

10. Post: Reader's Poll (Inspired by this week's theme). Lezbrarian: "While Dworkin's view was significantly more nuanced then you describe I think on the whole her activism was a disgrace. Since I seriously doubt there are any of Dworkin's admires here I won't bother offering a detailed critic of her ideas.

I'm not too familiar with the works of McElroy. But as you've described her she sounds like a third-waver so I'd probably like her a lot more then second-wave feminists. By and large I think most second-wave critics, either consciously or not, sought to destroy patriarchy by creating a system which privileged women and subjected men. I have every negative options about patriarchy but matriarchy is just as unjust and neither can free us from the mind forged manacle of gender.

As for the third option the opinion of the middling herd... yes actually non-consensual sex is a major problem in society but if I thought that TBK was talking about real rape I'd stop reading this blog.

As for the original question:

Should it be called "Ass Rape" if the receiver cums at least once? Why don't you boys help me find out...

*bends over and spreads her cheeks*"

9. Post: Confession: I'm a Shameful Shitter. Sapph: "I think there are "time to shit" waves that come through our computers. As someone who also makes their living over the computer (from home), I can attest to the existence of the "time to shit" waves.

I'm generally a bit screwed (literally and figuratively) on my days off.

When I'm working, I get up, grab a big mug of tea, pop a squat in front of my computer and start my day. Twenty minutes later, the "time to shit" waves hit and off I go to pop my squat in the loo.

When I'm off, I get up, grab a big mug of tea, pop a squat back on my bed, or on hubby's face, or whatever other comfy place I spy, and I wait. And wait. And wait.

But sure 'nuff, as soon as I go log on to check my email, see if my company has gone crashing down while I was sitting on hubby's face, etc. - the "time to shit" waves hit and off I go.

I think it is a plot by aliens."

8. Post: A Shot of Everclear...in the Leg. Manj: "'Self-obsessed, pampered shits who need to get a life' is a phrase that comes to mind when I think about these people. I mean, seriously?

Sean et al, do you really think all those people who do regret deliberately cutting entire body parts off are going to get vocal about regretting it? That would just make them look even more stupid.

I agree that my initial "psycho" comment was a bit over the top, but yeah, my outrage gets pretty intense when I think about people encouraging a desire to amputate for no physical reason. I mean, get a fucking hobby, for christ's sake.

I actually have many friends who are genuinely and unwillingly disabled, including a boyfriend, an aunt, and a girlfriend who, last year, had a nurse accidentally inject a vaccine into her nerve instead of her vein, and lost complete use of her right arm. She is just slowly gaining movement now, but for someone who's a drummer, a calligrapher and a painter, it was horrific. She had an electrode thingy implanted into her spine and arm, connected to a box she wore strapped to her back, to make sure the nerves and muscles didn't atrophy.

I don't see this type of mental health disorder as something to be coddled and encouraged. I see it as something that needs more research as soon as possible so we can find out a way to stop physically well people becoming handicapped burdens for no reason, none at all."

7. Post: Three Days Solo in a Hotel Room. CapnMarrrrk: "I haven't spent a lot of time in hotel/motel rooms by myself. But when I do, I pretty much masturbate constantly. And draw (if I have the time what with all the masturbating). If the connection is fast enough I'll do it over the web cam to my wife.

Oddly enough, I don't give the bible any thought. It's just there like the phone book. I never use it. To me (and my opinion only), I find it kind of silly and pointless to spooge into a bible. I guess it depends on your upbringing. I wasn't raised religious, so I wouldn't feel naughty doing it."

6. Post: Cuddle Swinging. B Diddle: "It's getting harder and harder to breathe..

Maybe I should hold my breath until the next movie night..the cleansing breaths of movie night are therapeutic to say the least.

Comfort, sensuality, anxiety, pressure, stimulation, radiance, adolescence, release, blood flow, heat, maturity, ever growing circles of exploration...

I am there."

5. Post: The Sexy Bohunk Kind: Rev Lion. Reverend Lion: "well. I tend to be off and on with masturbating. But on average i do it once a day. somedays none. Some days as many as 7 or 8 times. If i am truly aroused i can spray cum about 6-8 feet standing straight! but i'm not that easliy aroused as most men. a few times while i have been elevated on chemicals i have masturbated for 7-10 hours STRAIGHT ! ! ! ! ! yes, and we are talking one fucking AMAZING orgasm at the end.

anyway, I love nude pictures of people i have made love with. I REALLY love thinking about my girlfriend getting fucked by someone other than me and me getting to see it as if they didn't know i was there. I am pretty loose on that subject. I have very minimal jealousy. Guys that get jealous should take a look at themselves, realize how cheesy it is being that way and accept that they are wasting emotions by stressing themselves. If your man or woman is gonna fuck other people, guess what, THEY ARE GONNA DO IT ! !

Doesn't mean you have to like it. But we all get to make our decisions. Everyone can walk out the door if they need to.

If i am REALLY horny i like having stuff up my butt. especially while i am fucking. makes the orgasm like 10 times stronger. though i've never actually gotten to enjoy it during sex, just masturbation. I like the idea of sucking cock also. clean, smelling good. I don't suck cock, i just wish i had the right kind of guy around to do it with once in a while. (i know ladies, you all wish that).

I am definately an ASS man. GOD I JUST WANNA FLOAT AWAY IN EVERY CUTE BUTT I SEE ! ! !AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

pussy is nice, its the ultimate goal of course, but i LOVE how the ass connects to the pussy, like it expresses the magic within. The ass is the flower that extends from the pussy, in my mind. I think i just love looking at them all. like looking at flowers. My mind tells me to have sex with them all, but really i just worship women. They are the most beautiful possible thing in the universe. They are the Yin to my (POWERFUL)Yang.

I have a slut fetish. You know that moment when the hotass slut walks in the room and all the guys get real quiet and pretend they aren't staring her down. Well, i worship sluts. i don't know why. it is something about their realness. I am a holy man, and i see the truth. I see the real woman. hidden behind the makeup, the boots,the mini skirt, is still a woman, and DAMN i have always been in love with the essense. and woman that can exude the essence so well tend to be strippers, sluts, diner waitresses, you know....the women who REALLY know how men are. If ones awareness is so great they feel everything around them, the feeling can become so strong the need for comfort becomes so great they seek comfort everywhere, constantly....like jesus, like buddha, like many many wise men. so few understand the mind of the wise, powerful minded man. The higher you go, the lonelier it gets.

I throw together a meal that combines the womans favorite foods in such a way that it explains parts of my personality. I make sure that i have at least 7 tricks up my sleeve not just the boring old one or 2. ie-champagne waiting already on ice at a secret location, custom chocolates spelling this goddesses name all over it or chocolates made in the shape of her favorite animal. I love big elaborate surprises that have many levels of unfolding. Seemingly complex and mindblowing. Like having the chef at the restaurant already know to make the girls particular favorite dessert.

Then the old trusty is always the scented candles everywhere, incense, ganja if she likes(makes the mood wonderful, especially for the massage) i even use ganja massage oil ladies ! ! !

Make sure its nice and warm for her in the house, massage her whole body for hours with oils, teasing and rubbing. I never give her enough, but i always give her more......I would rub this goddess down for so long that when i finally put my mouth to her drenched pussy she would only be able to last about 20 seconds, then cum all over my face. Then I'd fuck her senseless to help her get all that built up tension out.

I play music that was skillfully thought out over a long time. When we finally make it to the bed, the sheets are made of silk and her name is embroidered on them, and they are of course her favorite color. Or even better a color she didn't know existed yet is now her new favorite color.

I show her parts of my soul, so that she can never escape my powerful love. even if we were never to see each other again, she would always remember my presence. Yearning for it deep in her heart.

I am a soul shaker, i go for the deep game. women don't seem to ever recover from me. They feel so safe with me. Having someone who is hyper-aware and dominant around, and big (6 ft 5, 340) can get addictive i guess.

So not only would i blow her load, i would also blow her mind. Then after she passed out from the evening, she would wake up with me inside of her again. and again. and again.

I would wake up early and make a batch of chocolate truffles.....and make chocolate mousse and wake her up and eat her out with the mousse, we'd eat breakfast off of each other.

and if it was really a REAL goddess hopefully there would be some demi-goddesses to help us do all of this stuff."

4. Post: "He Likes Skinny Girls". Rapunzel: "Having ranged 50lbs more and 10lbs below what the scale tells me I am now, I have been very plump, round and rubenesque and so very unhappy with myself. I am back to a comfortable zone and now very rarely pay attention to dress sizes or what the scale tells me. Before I would obsess. I feel comfortable in my skin. I feel sexy in my skin. I love my curvy body. 34-26-35 I also love my hip bones that protrude when I lie down. Am I skinny? Fuck no. I have an ass and thighs. My stomach isn't flat. But do I want to change any of it?? Nope.

@CuriousGirl... I too am just a smidgen over 5 ft but I feel the absolute opposite. I love big men. 6 ft plus, 200lbs at least is ideal for me.

There wasn't anything better than with my last guy when we were walking arm in arm, even with heels on, I still was diminutive to him. Just fitting into him, jigsaw puzzle style. My head barely reaching his shoulders. His arm draped around my shoulder, pulling me in close.

I have been with short guys. My ex was 5 ft 7 (on a good day... lol) and suffered from the dreaded Napoleon complex. And when I wore heels (I tend to wear HIGH heels when I do) I was almost eye to eye with him. And he hated it.

And women are sexier than hell, no matter what they look like, as long as they are self assured. Stick thin women have never appealed to me, partially because of seeing what what kind devastation an eating disorder can bestow with my sister, but if the skinniness is natural and the woman is healthy (mind, body and spirit) there isn't a fucking thing wrong. Just like a BBW who loves every inch of herself."

3. Post: The Beautiful Kind: A Safe Haven for Perverts. Lokey: "I've always looked at fetishes/fantasies as a means of stepping out of your everyday persona and into one that expresses or releases your innermost desires and/or frustrations...a catharsis of sorts.

I grew up watching my dad occasionally beat the shit out of my mom and as a result I could never abuse a woman, but sometimes during sex something deep down inside me clicks and makes me want to experience the frame of mind of someone who could physically abuse a woman. Slapping, pulling hair, choking, simulated rape....all these help me to experience those darkest of feelings without the negative results.

That's where the "slave/master" fantasy comes into play also. It's not a form of retaliation, but a form of learning. About myself and others. I want to feel what Thomas Jefferson may have felt when he was sliding his cock into the ass of his lil black slave maid...knowing he owned that ass and there was nothing she could do about it. I wanna crack a whip on a cute little black ass for pleasure and find out if I could just as easily do such a thing out of hatred or anger. I wanna know if I would feel remorse after treating a black woman in such a manner.

Of course, I would never do any of these things unless it was with a black woman who was 100% without a doubt comfortable in playing the role. And I would have to be just as comfortable in my role.

I once got so aggressive during sex that I got carried away and found myself literally trying to hurt the woman I was fucking by pounding my dick into her as hard as I could. I wanted my dick to explode from her abdomen in a shower of blood and guts and sperm, spit on her remains and wipe my dick on her hair as I left the room. She had pushed my buttons quite a bit prior to the sex and some of that anger was still bouncing around inside there. She never uttered a word of complaint, but I was so disgusted with myself that it made me nauseous.

I imagine the slave fantasy would have a similar result."

2. Post: Fetish Parade: You Are Dead to Me. Reverend Lion: "In response to the person who said 'hard ons are not a part of the grieving process'....

i don't know what the fuck planet you live on buddy, but here on earth, sex is one of the most important parts of the grieving/healing process. it's known as sexual healing.

for instance, if TBK died, i know she'd be down with me fucking her one last time(or 10).

the point is also, i would have already been fucking, and THEN the person might die. i'm not just gonna see a dead person on the street and be like, " ooh, that would be fun to fuck"

what do ya'll think i am, a sick fuck or something ???

i simply would FINISH the session that got started whether the person is dead alive conscious or unconscious. GET ER DONE!

PS- i fucking LOVE the scene in HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES when the cops bust open the shed and all those hot ass sexy fucking cheerleaders are hanging up dead. tha shit gets me SOOOO hard. especially cuz i know that they are actually alive, and sexy as FUCK ! ! ! ! !

fucking dead people would get old cuz they DON'T FIGHT BACK !!!

also, i have no interest in killing people, unless of course they died from the sheer force of my cock and the explosion that follows. i remember this awesome anime that i saw when i was maybe 15. nothing has ever turned me on more. This god was reborn and he finds this sexy little 60 pound lookin japanese girl, and he fucks her, BUT his cock and his energy were so intense that she exploded with light, a metaphor of the extreme orgasm.......she didn't survive.

so ever since then i've had the fantasy of being so powerful that my cock filled women, or the cum load was so large it would spray out of her every orifice."

and the #1 comment of the year -

1. Post: Imprinting. B-Speak: "Don't do it!! You may become anally ravaged again. I know it can be hard convincing yourself that he really does not have your best interests in mind and you should at least try to talk to him about why he treats you like a tool. You are nobody's tool darling. You are one of the most beautiful. . . I think I'll have a donut."

His prize? His choice of anal sex with me or a donut.