Kinky Stories & Relationship / Sex Advice

I'm all for cumming on a pair of loose socks, perhaps a tie-in with I Came on This's sister site, Loose Sock Central.

hmmm...If I was a man I'd cum on an egg. That seems strangely like the circle of life in a round about way.

TBK.. would you please stop showing the cum on the bible. I have to cross myself every time I see it...lol

I love that picture. There's something about knowing the bible in the biblical sense that just cracks me up.

Some things I would cum on if I had the ability:
The hood of a car
A window
A top hat
A chia pet
A picture of George W. Bush's face
One of those shiny round lawn decorations.

Keeping with the blasphemous theme you could call it
EJACULATE CONCEPTIONS.

Whatever I cum on, you can be sure I'm Onan up to it.

I would cum on a snowglobe...don't ask why either...or perhaps some Precious Moment trinkets.
You could certainly cum on a rosary to add to the ejaculate conceptions. Or put some cum in the holy water. Blessed are thou amongst TBK readers!

I shall get to work on this. I'm talking about making the site. Maybe a little cumming too.

You guys, haven't you heard of Dash Snow?

"Some of Snow's recent collage-based work has been characterized by the controversial practice of using his own semen as a material applied to or splashed across newspaper photographs of police officers and other authority figures."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dash_Snow

...a World-Map.

I used to have a great picture of cum on a wedding ring with her had laying on his pillow... uhh yeah and he wasn't there.

First few posts made me think of this TBK post.

http://marie-cumonmeplease.blogspot.com/

Well... TBK, you were the first thing that popped into my mind! I hope that flatters you! I'm not sure it'd be very original, but if you did decide to roll with this feature, I'd feel it were my honor-bound duty to submit decorated pictures of your subscriber-only features.

TBK-Rule number one, there is no such thing as "too much".

I remember cumming on a door handle once, it was the door to my ex-girlfriend's sister's room. I had this sort of fetish, I wanted to fuck both the sisters but only nailed the one. well there were actually 4 sisters, but i only wanted to tag the 2 oldest.
Ya'll wanna hear a fucked up story???
when i was young, like 15, I came in my older brothers ham salad sandwich. Firstly he was like 24, and I was making his lunch for him, oh aren't I sweet. For some reason, I decided to cum on there.It was sort of anger blended with youthful dumbness. Plus if you have ever seen shredded pork salad, you'd understand that shit needs to be creamy!!! Now keep in mind my brother is low functioning autistic, which makes me like 1000% more of an asshole. I know, but this is part of the learning of life. I became strong in ways people never would have, unless they came on their disabled brother's sandwich.
This was one of those regrets that you can never forget. It may have been a early sign that I was Bi, or maybe it was the time I sucked my brother's dick in curiosity. I'd love to suck a cock again, never have since, but I'd love to suck someone's cock who is somewhat indifferent, like my autistic brother was. I suppose that is sort of a child like thing, curiosity, wonder. For the record he didn't dig it that much, and after getting it kinda hard from sucking it and being intrigued by the taste(which wasn't bad at all) I just stopped. That was my first gay experience, and my only incestual moment.

I wish TBK and I had pics of when I came with great force in her face, almost blew her head off her shoulders.

Rev. Lion- I am not sure if you meant that shit to be funny, I certainly believe that it's true, but a couple of moments made me laugh so fucking hard I think I came...On My Pants. Let me go get the camera.

Peace and Love Brother!!!! (For the record, I don't want you to suck my dick, but I am sure I/TBK could find some folks for you that would be totally cool with it).

HOLY SHIT, I NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFE!! Holy Shitballs is right, Fido licking pussy and spamwich jizzwich sandwiches for Rainman is fucking hilarious...

OMG, I am going to bed...thanks Lion! Love ya for that one...

B-Diddy, thanks buddy, but in moments like that i would want the cock to be found in a genuine way. naturally. i love and crave this magic in life. Which is also why i DON'T like the controlled, organized world of BDSM people. I prefer the complete random suffering of feeling like I am alone in this world, with the occasional amazing random fuck or BJ or whatever. Random is beautiful.
Also, i was aware that my post is very comical, but everyone please be aware that i am also understanding of it's dark nature. Very serious, and full of love. For it is in love of my brother that i posted this trauma in order to work through it more fully. if we hide our skeletons, they weigh us down. If we let them out, then we work through it a bit and maybe make a few folks laugh. "Work the kinks out!"
The bigger the person you become, the higher above your own problems you will rise.........
I want everyone to know that after this incident i became a Behavior Coach working with adult autistic folks. And i am a full advocate of disabled folks rights. I payed my debt to society, and i have never since cum in anybody's sandwich. But definitely pink tacos!!!

A new Thai restaurant took over the location from a burger place where my wife & I once watched a cockroach walk across the table. I suggested ordering some food to go there, & wife said, "You'd have to order it 'without roaches.'" I said, "I'm pretty sure the order would come with 'extra spit.'" You only way to get it with 'extra cum' is if you Bangkok on it.

HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Oh Rev. Lion..... oh my...

Wouldn't it be great if someone made a site called "How 'bout Them Apples" and featured pics of all kinds of weird shit with apples on it?
Like a phone book? More Apples? Some bacon (would that count as bestiality)? An iPod? A Mariah Carey CD? A friend's wedding photo (who hopefully has a sense of humor)? A handrail? A newspaper opened up to an article about George Bush's ranch in Texas? A daisy in the garden? A bible? The DVD case of a porn you especially liked? The menu of a restaurant that gave you terrible service?
Then readers could comment on the artistic nature of the apple, or suggest a red rose as a good subject for apple placement, or say how much they LOVE bacon, too.
Each image could represent so many emotions and themes: love, hate, indifference, appreciation, beauty, contrast, randomness, enthusiasm…
Another amazing aspect to this concept is that each one would be as unique as a snowflake. I mean, even if every person put an apple on a bible, or even the SAME PERSON put apples on the bible on more than one occasion, each image would be unique.
For instance, the bite mark image in this post looks like a bird dropping splatter. Another bite could look like a question mark. Or JESUS. There's somthing very sacred about apples (esp. golden crisp), don't you think? Apple Sauce is LIFE SAUCE.
Or what about a photo series of the same object, say a Cosmopolitan magazine, or maybe a twinkie, with a new or rotten apple left on it everyday? Imagine the transformation that would capture!
Eventually, the objects featured could become part of a traveling art exhibit like the Postsecret project and raise money for some worthy cause like penis cancer or AIDS research.

Whenever anyone (even me) mentions uniqueness I am compelled by my dark sardonic nature to comment, often using the phrase, "You are unique: just like everyone else". Now that the compulsion has been sated on to something 'completely different'.

This one cracks me up to no end, "Then readers could comment on the artistic nature of the semen, or suggest a red rose as a good subject for semen placement, or say how much they LOVE bacon, too.

", do people really do that sort of thing?

DAMN, someones got an apple fetish......

Speaking of, do you think I should post pics of TBK cream pie or facials in the subscriber only section, or is that too much? It'd be trippy if you came on pics of me wearing cum, it'd be like a layer cake.

Not only do I think you should, but I think you should have already! Think of all the artistic possibilities! You're creative and already seem to have an eye for good photography, so I'd be really interested in seeing what fun stuff you... um, come up with.

Also, if you posted facial pics I'd instantly jizz in my pants (video, NSFW language).

The comments on this post might just be the most amazing thing I've read on the internet, ever.

I was shocked by the image on the top of this post. It seems that defacing a book is so very wrong.

I calmed myself down by chanting, like a mantra, "it's just a bible, it's just a bible."

PS: if you really want some interesting results, may I suggest cumming on Jesus' body itself:
http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2008/07/its_a_goddamned_cracker.php

Momus it's not necessarily defacing it. Certainly it falls short of The Library Of Congress maintenance and handling guidelines. But it's not altogether ruined. Worst case scenario; a few pages get stuck together. Think of them as bookmarks.

If you're Catholic then the male sperm is divine and obviously of direct linkage to The Word. Thus if semen were to make it's way to a Bible it too would be the Word Of The Lord. Given that The Word is subject to so much interpretation so too The Semen would be.

The Pope should embrace it and use it to further male privilege.

And Crazy American Protestants can have endless coffee table bible study meetings interpreting it ad nauseum.

I'd really need the insight of of an Atheist Jew for how a Rabbi might interpret semen on the Torah.