Notes from The Cabin II

By The Beautiful Kind

I think this year was more fun than last year! I wore no makeup, dressed in flowing nighties and robes,and had my hair in braids because I love when he undoes them. Also, I remember last year I was more self-conscious about pooping - I furtively took care of business every time he went out to gather firewood. This year was more relaxed, I was less ashamed. Lovely how things mellow over time.

Here is a rundown - crazy that we packed all this into about 48 hours...

- A friend of mine gifted us with a bourbon sampler featuring four perfect bottles. We drank two on the way down. Our favorites were Bookers, which was cask strength - 125 proof! and Basil Hayden's.

- I gave him road head, of course. At one point he turned to me in the truck and cracked, "Look at you over there - knitting, reading the paper, sucking dick." I shot back, "Look at you over there - smoking, drinking, getting your dick sucked."

- We brought a ton of toys, but forgot massage oil, so we stopped at the Lion's Den. They had a huge selection of massage lotions and oils, but you know, we're really not into all that fruity stuff, so we dug through all the tangerine, cherry, vanilla, and banana until we found the perfect massage set - it's called Naked in the Woods, and smells like sexy forest, earthy, natural. It contains hemp seed, jojoba, shea butter, birch, comfrey - definitely what gnomes would use if they had massage parlors. It came in a 3 pack - lotion, spray on oil, and massage candle. The hot young chick working there rubbed some on the back of my hand so I could try it, and Beast blurted, "That is so hot!"

- As soon as we got there, he started a fire and I nested - put food away, laid out sex toys, made cocktails, etc.

- Once the fire got going and he ate my pussy, we settled in and watched this 1965 b&w documentary about Leonard Cohen as a young poet. It was jazzy and charming, all was well... and then we smoked some K2.

- K2 is this legal herb you smoke like weed. It gets you high and can cause hallucinations as well. It was our first time trying it, and WOW did it throw us for a loop! I was expecting a mild buzz but it got CRAZY. We couldn't stop laughing. The room kept rotating, and every time I looked at Beast, he transformed into another character - he was the Cartoon Network. First he was a Scooby Doo character, then Fozzie Bear, then Bozo the Clown, then Rowlf the Dog. Then he was patriotic - red, white and blue. I marveled at how someone came along and stripped him of his sexiness. He was a grotesque caricature.

- Then all of a sudden he got bit by the horny bug, and he leaned over and kissed me. BAM he was back to being sexy again, and we were fired up to fuck. We took the party to the bed and went crazy there, somehow managing to remember to use a condom, I'm so proud of us.

- After we madhouse fucked, we got in the hot tub. Then he watched Mad Men while I passed out on the couch for a while. When I woke up, he had dinner waiting for me. I ate and lazed about as he washed the dishes, tended the fire, and did all the chores.

- Then we watched one of my favorite John Waters movies Pecker. We went around saying "Full of Grace!" the rest of the weekend.

- Then we fucked and slept. We had playlists for every occasion - country, hip hop, hard rock (music to poop by), mellow sweet slowcore, classical...

- In the morning we got in hot tub again, and I made us bagels and spiked tea for breakfast.

- The fire kept burning.

- We watched the western Unforgiven.

- We watched Tristan Taormino's porn Rough Sex (thanks Scorpio for hooking us up!) I suppose that deserves a review of its own. So many intriguing parts to it - five women are invited to recreate their rough sex fantasy, choosing the setting, activity, where the sperm goes, and even their partners. I liked each scene better than the last. It was incredible seeing Sasha Grey in action - I walked out of The Girlfriend Experience. She and her partner surprised me. I asked Beast if he learned anything new from watching it, and he said not really.

- Then we watched Rocco's Puppet Masters 2 (thanks again, Scorpio!) which took the rough sex up a notch or two. When they got to the scene where one of the women was wearing a tight black leather hood, Beast turned to me and said gravely, "They turned the corner in Puppet Masters 2." Then he told me he learned something new from THAT porn. Eek.

- OK so it was finally time to have the rough sex ourselves. While he tended the fire and did manly things, I did nice, feminine things like give myself an enema in th bathroom. I came out wearing fishnet tights I wanted ripped off.

- He tied me facedown spreadeagle to the bed using the under-the-bed restraints we borrowed from Ziztur (thanks Ziztur!). He left me that way for a few minutes, then came back in, leaned down and murmured in his low, deep voice, "I'm going to fuck you like no other." And commenced to use the arsenal of toys lined up next to the bed on me. I got flogged, ripped, spanked, eaten from behind, vibed, penetrated. He fucked my ass, then came around to mouth and came in it while spitting on me. Oh joy - Ass to Mouth. Tasted sweet from the lube.

- Once we got that all out of the way, it was time to switch gears. He untied me and it was back to vanilla land. After a quick soak in the hot tub, he made pasta for dinner, and I read out loud an Annie Sprinkle essay on tantric sex, all about the joy of doing nothing and just grooving off your partner's energy. We aim to try that exercise soon.

- We made Maker's Mark Mulled Cider and watched Quills, that awesome movie about Marquis de Sade. What a perfect film for the weekend. Next year we should bring the book I got as a gift from Bojo (thanks Bojo!) While we watched it, he took me over his knee and spanked me by the fire - oh crap we slipped back into kinky mode.

- Back to vanilla. We exchanged footrubs. After the movie, we lit candles and I gave him a full body massage in front of the fire, Tindersticks playing in the background. The slow, well oiled experience culminated in him ejaculating like Old Faithful.

- Sleep. Cleaned up the ashes, bid the cabin adieu, and drove back home. Drank the other two bourbons. Tried stopping at vacuum cleaner museum and world's largest rocking chair, but couldn't find either, so we settled on an antique mall instead.

Back to reality.

Happy Holidays! xoxo