Breasts Breasts Breasts Breasts

By Kendra Holliday | August 27, 2016

Enter my sacred temple

Enter my sacred temple

Happy GO TOPLESS DAY AUG 28!

I’ve FINALLY figured out what makes female breasts/nipples so awed and feared!

You know I’ve been struggling with this Topless Inequality quandary for years – remember the Obscene Nipple Game?

A married man told me that seeing his wife’s breasts is always exciting – it never gets old. “Every time I see them, it’s like it’s the first time. It’s refreshing and invigorating.”

I notice with amusement how predictable my clients are – as soon as my bra comes off, they lean down and suck on each nipple, like an automatic, erotic handshake. They simply HAVE to touch and fondle them.

But then get this – the other day I had a date with my girlfriend, and when she took off her shirt, I was compelled to do the exact same thing! I just wanted to grab them! But I didn’t – I was a respectful lady. And that reaction is even with me having breasts myself!

Breasts are like warm, glowing light bulbs, and we are mere moths. Supposedly, moths are drawn to light because of some ancient connection to the moon, which is a feminine symbol.

Alunapull…

Sooo here’s the deal – the reason female breasts and nipples are so awed and feared is because

THEY ARE MAGIC.

That’s it. They are a source of creation and life-giving. They symbolize Mother Earth – they are the opposite of destruction. And while most people revere and respect life force and see it as a positive thing, some people find it overwhelming and confusing, which can be scary. The more we can be in touch with our feelings, the healthier we can process the mysterious world around us.

I breastfed my daughter for a year, and am so proud how I provided her only food source for months, and how she thrived and grew – it’s so magical and empowering!

In honor of this realization, I’m hosting a Topless Tarot event later this week, for women only. We’ll sit around in my warm and cozy fairy cottage and connect and bond over candlelight, cards, gems, and runes. We’ll be surrounded by breasts and loving female energy! Our cups runneth over!

I went back into my blog archives and pulled random breast photos – I just love them so much, and am happy to have them. I’m glad to share them with you, on my own terms. Thank you for your respectful worship and appreciation!

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Improving Sex Ed in Public Schools

By Kendra Holliday | August 25, 2016

I Love Sex Ed!

I Love Sex Ed!

Last night my daughter and I attended a school board meeting that featured sex ed.

The school sent a survey out to parents last year. Over 1000 parents responded (I was SO excited to fill it out!), with the majority of parents in favor of updating the curriculum to include important topics beyond pregnancy and STIs, such as gender and LGBTQ issues, consent, and exploring sexuality.

As a result, the board voted and approved the improved curriculum in March. HOORAY! You can read details here.

I’m Co-Leader of Sex Positive St. Louis and I graduated from the school in ’91. My sex-positive daughter is a sophomore now. Needless to say, we strongly advocate acceptance, inclusiveness, and accurate education when it comes to the wide range of human sexuality. We were in good company, with plenty of rabbis, physicians, professionals, sex and health educators, and representatives from local organizations such as Growing American Youth and TransParent.

But some people are having a fit over the change. They think the curriculum, which draws mainly on Centers for Disease Control and Prevention guidelines for sexual education, is medically inaccurate. They also think providing information sends a dangerous message and encourages teens to have sex. Let me ask you – did you have sex as a teenager? Most of us did, and we fumbled around and made lots of mistakes. I wish I would have been better informed at that age.

Here is information detailing the improved curriculum, and here is an info page for Parents on what to expect.

People both for and against the teachings that will promote acceptance and better emotional health attended the meeting.

I love braids!

I’m so innocent and pure.

The people against the change wore white to symbolize purity and innocence.

One of the white people kept repeating the word “pornography” with such passion that it made me want to run right home and watch some! Another white person demanded that the school stick to “education, not indoctrination.”

A mom and her incredibly brave and shaking 16 year old son got up to speak – Andrew Bennett has been getting bullied and slandered by some of the white adults, online and in person.

As they spoke, some of the white people shouted angrily at them and some turned their backs on them.

RUDE.

You can watch footage of them speaking here. The building was surrounded by police and security.

Teen hero Andrew is saving lives by putting himself out there. I can’t wait to see him speak in front of thousands of people someday.

My daughter got to witness adult behavior – some mature and respectful, some not. I’m proud to say the people we sat with exhibited good manners. But I have to confess – as soon as we got to our car, we burst out laughing and repeated the word “pornography” all the way home.

I got compliments on my Planned Parenthood “I LOVE SEX ED” shirt. 🙂

I counsel adults mainly in the 40-70 age range who were grossly misinformed when they came of age. If the next generation gets proper education, then I can be put out of business and bake cupcakes or garden instead. Or, if we choose to remain ignorant, I can make lots of money mucking around in all the guilt and shame baggage.

I prefer the former.

Losing a Client, Part 2

By Kendra Holliday | August 24, 2016

Painting by Elaine Goble Dandridge

Painting by Elaine Goble Dandridge

Last week I lost another client. (Please read this previous post about losing a client before proceeding.)

He wasn’t just a client – he was a friend and lover, too.

D and I first met over two years ago – his doctor referred him to me after it was determined he would outlive his initial diagnosis of dying young. Now, it looked like he could expect to make it to middle age. With that startling revelation, he was able to consider pursuing adult activities beyond getting his college degree – sex. A relationship.

But he was behind all of his peers in dating experience, so he needed to seek ways to catch up.

Drastic, unconventional ways. Beyond OK Cupid.

So, we met for a couple of consultations and built rapport. Because of his breathing machine, D was difficult to understand, and he didn’t have the muscle strength to move as much, but his eyes – oh his eyes were so incredibly expressive. I spent many hours gazing into those beautiful, warm eyes.

He used a motorized wheelchair and had a hospital bed. His medical condition kept him feeling cold all the time, so his bedroom would be really warm. I felt bad removing his cozy blankets, but the excitement and passion we shared provided a different type of warmth. Even his cologne smelled warm, like a clean, masculine fire.

At the beginning of each session, D would ask a sex question, such as, “I saw this in porn – is it really like that?” or “Is female ejaculation real?” and we would come up with different themes to explore. We had such fun and educational sessions!

We kissed as best we could around the breathing tube. His body was solid, so I was able to climb around him pretty easily. Still, I always made sure he wasn’t just enduring something or have pain interfere with pleasure.

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Takeaways from Tantra Training

By Kendra Holliday | August 14, 2016

Barbara Carrellas

Barbara Carrellas

Back in June, I spent a week in NYC doing tantra training with Barbara Carrellas.

The experience blew me away. I am a changed person.

I expected to soak up new energy in a new city, new ideas, new people, and learn about tantra. I’ve read a lot about it online, plus I read Barbara’s book Urban Tantra twice – yet I still didn’t have a proper grasp on it. I think tantra is like Burning Man – you have to immerse yourself in it in order to “get it.”

Well, I got all that and more – I met other sex workers, fetish models, dominatrix, tantrikas, and other specialists. I learned about marketing, BDSM, gender politics, and about other cultures.

That picture of Barbara on the right? That’s what the week was like – we were sparkling, ecstatic, and open-hearted.

My NYC escort for the week was my good friend Matthew Stillman, who was also attending the course. He’s like a brother to me – I was so lucky to spend the week with him – it was my first time to NYC and I was so intimidated! I couldn’t have been matched with a better soul – he’s lived in NYC his entire life and was an excellent guide.

We walked all over the place and took the subway!!! Columbia University, Central Park, Brooklyn Bridge… I reread A Tree Grows in Brooklyn on my trip, and found this slut-shaming passage still relevant, 70 years later:

Excerpt from A Tree Grows in Brookly

Excerpt from A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

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My Year as a Stripper

By Kendra Holliday | August 12, 2016

Disclaimer: I wrote this a long time ago, and it never seemed to fit the vibe of this blog, so I’ve never published it here, or anywhere. It ALMOST made it in BUST magazine, but they chose an essay about male strippers instead.

I was in a very different place 20+ years ago, but since I mentioned it in the post yesterday about Jobs I Have Had, I decided to follow up with this. My next post will feature modern positive updates, I promise!

Stripping.

I had this gig was when I was 19 (I’m 43 now). I was pretty much trapped in a bad spot – kicked out of my house, no money, no car, dead end job.

I didn’t know what to do. So one day, a girlfriend and I decided to check out the strip clubs on the East Side. I called a place at random, and asked if they hired girls who had no boobs and couldn’t dance. She said sure, gave me directions, and told me to come in for an “interview.”

So I saved up money for a down payment on the cheapest car I could find, and we drove over there.

It was SO frightening entering that place. It was like a haunted house, but it was in the afternoon, and the building sat on a gravel parking lot in Washington Park like an overgrown mobile home. It was called Mainstreet.

Quaking, my friend and I entered. It was really dark, and we had to go up some stairs. There was a bouncer at the door, a 6’6″ black man named Humphrey who directed us to the bartender, who was in charge. She was very tan, busty, and abrupt, and our “interview” consisted of us being taken back to the dressing room, and being told to lift our shirts. I guess she was checking for scars, or a hairy chest or something.

We filled out an application (the whole purpose being to get in writing that you’re 18), and we were hired.

I gave my employer two weeks notice, and soon it was my first day to report to the strip club. I was SOO nervous, because guess what?

Me circa this era, in the great outdoors and not in a gross strip club

Me circa this era, in the great outdoors and not in a gross strip club

I was on my own.

My friend chickened out. (It’s almost unheard of for a woman to just walk into a strip joint out of the blue and get a job there. Women usually wind up there because a friend they party with or relative works there.)

My first day was TERRIFYING. I was paired up with a sweet-n-stupid girl with bleach blond curls and pink lipstick named “Sassy,” who took one look at me and gave me the name “Glamour.” Can you believe that was my stage name?? Isn’t it SO Seven Dwarfs?

She lent me high heels, and for the first time in my life, I got up on a stage and took my clothes off in front of a bunch of strange men 20 years older than me. Can you imagine doing that right now? Can you imagine doing that as a teenager?

We hustled the guys all day, and I went home feeling very dirty and exhausted. And that’s the way I felt for next nine months. I was in my prime and desired by many, but absolutely LOATHED myself.

The strip club I worked at was owned by a nasty man in his 50’s named Tom Venezia, and his 25 yr old son, Milan Venezia. They were SLEAZY all right, and were involved in all kinds of illegal activity, and had loads of money. Milan thought he was hot stuff, so did his dad. They would pick the hardest, bitchiest princess girls and SHARE them, and of course the “chosen ones” thought they were something else, too. They’d run the bar, like the one who hired me.

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Jobs I Have Had

By Kendra Holliday | August 11, 2016

Babysitter. When I was 12-16 years old, I babysat a lot. I wasn’t very good at it. Looking back, I feel bad for the parents who trusted me with their homes and children. Sometimes they hired me so they could go on dates, but sometimes they had to work or go to school. I was oblivious to their grind. Some were rich, but some struggled. It was sad seeing them divorce. Nothing bad ever happened on my watch, but I did snoop around their house, eat their food, and made sure the kids followed the rules. As soon as they fell asleep, I would watch Cinemax softcore porn and get all tingly. One thing I did NOT do is steal, and one of the moms accused me of stealing from her kid’s piggy bank! I ran into her ten years later and was able to confront her. It still hurt after all those years. She apologized and told me it was a different babysitter – she just assumed it was me because I was younger. It was good getting closure with her.

Telemarketer. As soon as I turned 16, I got a job selling magazine subscriptions over the phone, facing a wall in a room full of cubicles. It was HELL being a clueless teenager and cold calling people, trying to make them buy something they didn’t need, and getting rejected, hung up on, cussed out. I only lasted a day. I remember thinking, “This is what having a job is like? It SUCKS!”

Salad Bar Attendant at grocery store. A week later, I got a job at a grocery store near my parent’s house, working in the salad bar. I’d sometimes go to school until 3pm, then work at the salad bar from 4-10pm. Sometimes I’d have a Sat or Sun shift that went from 530am-3pm. I wore a polyester uniform and stood in the cold back room for hours, chopping romaine lettuce, pineapples, rinsing slimy kidney beans…I worked there until I was 18, and was glad to be transferred to the bakery where things were warmer, smelled better, and there were cupcakes. During this time, I was an unethical slut and fucking around – one time my jealous boyfriend visited me on my lunch break. He put his hand on my thigh and felt the garter belt and stocking I had on under my polyester pants. BUSTED. I remember the angry flash in his eye, and how my heart raced. I lied to him that I was wearing them to keep warm, when in reality I totally had plans to cheat on him after I clocked out.

Hotel front desk clerk. When I got kicked out of my parent’s house at 18, I was homeless, so after crashing with friends for a while, I found a crappy shotgun house right on Highway 44 with an awful roommate. I didn’t have a car, so I found a job within walking distance – that hotel at Hampton and 44. It used to be a Howard Johnson. I thought it was rather glamorous – I got to work with the pretty ladies. We had one suicide while I was there – he checked in, but he never checked out. I dated the maintenance man who resembled Bruce Springsteen, but it was bad – his penis was damaged from being circumcised later in life after a foreskin injury. The management favored my co-worker who would leave me to watch the desk while she did drug deals in vacant rooms, so I got frustrated and saved money as best I could in order to buy a car.

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Preparing for the Worst

By Kendra Holliday | August 7, 2016

Back in April 2015, Shameless Grounds hosted an important event for people in non-traditional (poly, kinky, non-married) relationships.

If you fall into traditional social norms and are legally married and something happens to your spouse, you are protected by law. You have rights. But if you are not married to each other, you are screwed – unless you have other legal documents in place.

Lawyers were on hand at a poly-packed Shameless to educate the community and distribute paperwork for protecting yourself and your partner(s) in the event of hospitalization or death. The event was inspired by a tragedy that happened to one of my polyamorous friends – she was banned from her partner’s hospital bedside by his family. She found out about his death by seeing his obituary. Never in a million years did she think this would happen to her – she got along great with his family before he fell ill. And now, during this time of crisis, for whatever reason, they turned on her. She was devastated to her core.

Home.

Home.

My partner Matthew and I don’t have plans to marry or move in together, but we’ve been together eight years and trust each other with our lives. So, in lieu of legal marriage documentation, we finally have the official paperwork in place, notarized and witnessed: Hospital Visitation Authorization and Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care and Directive.

And when I say finally, I mean FINALLY. I’ve been carrying the folder of paperwork around with me in my laptop bag for the past sixteen months!

I kept trying to coordinate phone calls to the lawyer, having a meeting with my partner to fill out and sign the papers, going to a notary public to have them officiated, and then having two witnesses sign them. Plus, all kinds of kid stuff, events, and other duties and obligations kept getting in the way.

It took a couple weeks of calling the law office for me to get answers from them on the steps I needed to take – they were super busy. So I’d be glad to recommend them to you, but you may want to do a search for Probate and Estate Planning Lawyers in your area. Since our focus was on healthcare directive and not on finances or property, we were able to utilize state forms you can find online here. (I got the Hospital Visitation Authorization Form from the lawyer.) But if you have more complicated needs or have an estate worth over $40,000, you should definitely meet with a lawyer to cover all the bases. Keep in mind that MO law is different than IL law, so stick to your state.

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Making Love After Making War

By Kendra Holliday | July 31, 2016

My friend Mitchell Tepper, Ph.D., MPH is working on a documentary project featuring injured soldiers and their sexuality. It’s called Making Love After Making War, and they are raising funds for the film. Of course I donated to this important cause, and wanted to let you know about it.

There are six days left of the campaign – won’t you please consider contributing sometime this week? Or help spread the word?

I met Dr. Mitchell Tepper last summer at an AASECT Summer Institute that focused on sexuality and disabilities. Mitchell, who has lived with a spinal cord injury for over 30 years, knows firsthand what it is like to live with a permanent disability, and he is passionate about teaching others how to make the most out of their unique situation. He is a husband, father, and sex educator. He’s also brilliant, ambitious, and one of the most positive people I know.

So, yeah, I believe in his work and want to support this project however I can.

Please take a look at the Indiegogo campaign and find out more. Thank you!

A veteran and his wife, reunited and cuddling their way toward his recovery

A veteran and his wife, reunited and cuddling their way toward his recovery

Have you heard of My Princess Boy? It’s a book that celebrates boys who feel happiest when wearing clothes most commonly reserved for girls in our culture. Do you ever wonder what happens to some of those boys when they grow up? Some feel terrible shame and keep their truest desire to dress in the clothes they like best a secret.

Others find the courage and support to go out there and make their dressiest dreams come true. Here is my friend H.’s story…

Trying on dresses at David’s Bridal

I have been cross-dressing since I was a little boy. I have always had a love for formal dresses and wedding dresses. Over the past year, I contacted several bridal shops asking if, as a male, could I come into their store for a fitting before I bought a dress.

Repeatedly, I was told flat out NO!

I had the wrong genitals between my legs to be welcome as a customer.

Finally, I contacted David’s Bridal asking them the same question I have asked others in the past.

I was told by David’s Bridal I was more then welcome to come in for a fitting and try on dresses, when would I like to come in for an appointment? I talked it over with my wife to make sure it was all right with her for me to do this.

My wife told me if that’s what I wanted to do, I was more then welcome to schedule a appointment. My 50th birthday was just two months away. I could not think of a better way to spend my 50th  birthday. I called the David’s Bridal in Fairview Heights, Illinois and talked to the customer service rep.

I made my appointment!  David’s Bridal asked me to go to their website and register and pick out what dresses I liked best.

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My Daughter is Asexual

By Kendra Holliday | July 15, 2016

My daughter when she was 5

My daughter when she was 5

My 12-yr-old daughter is asexual. Sometimes I wonder if she will always be that way. (UPDATE: I first wrote this four years ago. She is now 16 years old and is still asexual.)

Not that it would be a bad thing, but it sure would be really fucking ironic.

Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to others or the lack of interest in sex.

I’ve been a horndog since I was about 9. She and I have had very different experiences growing up.

My mom tells me I used to play with myself as a baby. To my knowledge, my daughter has never experimented with that. (As an aside, my mom was 27 when she gave birth to me, and I was 27 when I gave birth to my daughter, so there’s always this eerie parallel running in my head – how DIFFERENT I am from my mom, who’s only had one sex partner her entire life and suffers from a host of mental illnesses.)

When I was 9, I was molested by an older adopted brother, which exposed me to sex early and manifested itself as a hypersexual mindset. I was drawing dirty pictures in 3rd grade, and writing erotica at age 12. I was making out with girls at 11 and boys at 13.

My daughter has never been molested. So far, the only bad things that have happened to her on that front is 1) one man on the internet sent her a cock shot, 2) one man flashed her while she was walking down the street, and 3) one man grabbed her butt in a public swimming pool. Each time, she was horrified and disgusted.

She does a lot of research online for her writing projects and is into anime and deviantART. This means she runs into adult content from time to time. As soon as she encounters it, she backs the hell up – she has absolutely no interest in it.

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A Few of My Favorite Things

By Kendra Holliday | July 15, 2016

Nuru Mermaid

Nuru Mermaid

Since you asked… here is a list of some of my favorite things:

Cash, of course!

Wouldn’t it be awesome if the gas, water and electric companies offered gift certificates? What would be more loving than gifting someone with a hot bath, a home cooked meal, or cooling or heating?

Amazon gc – send gift certificates to kendra@thebeautifulkind.com – I looooove books so much! And they sell pretty much everything else.

Whole Foods gc – or Trader Joe’s, Global Foods, Dierberg’s, Schnucks local grocery stores. I don’t eat mammals or birds, but I do eat seafood, veggies, fruit….I love ethnic food like sushi, Indian, Vietnamese, Ethiopian

Target gc – I’m a sucker

Etsy gc – support artists!

Flowers and gifts from Fleur de Lou – they sell lots of sexy and kinky flower arrangements, and also have whimsical gifts. I like when flowers last more like a week as opposed to three days, so the hardier ones are better, though I do like roses and fleeting exotic flowers like orchids. My favorite color rose is the peachy one with blush tones. I don’t like pink as much and I can’t stand the smell of cloying lilies, too funeral home. I keep my flowers in my dining room, which has green walls and lots of colorful jewel tones. Daisies, carnations, sunflowers are great. I like colorful.

Soft blankets, soft tummy

Soft blankets, soft tummy

Soft Surroundings gc – I looove soft clothes and blankets!

Earthbound gc – hippie fashion!

Shoes – size 7, no sandals

Mystic Valley gc – for my witchy things!

Cheryl’s Herbs gc – more healing magical opportunities! I got a scent there called Goddess…

Shameless Grounds gc – one of my favorite places in St Louis!

Godiva milk chocolate and truffle assortments

Fruit from heaven

Fruit from heaven

Merb’s milk chocolate covered strawberries

Soaprocks – these are so cool!

Demeter – they sell so many fun scents, some of my favs are New Leaf, Firefly, Grapefruit Tea, Sushi, Silvery Pekoe, New Zealand, Pipe Tobacco, Leather…

Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab – just look at this website!! I have a scent called Bewitched…

Victoria’s Secret – I tend to wear a medium, but sometimes L depending on the style and brand, 36B. My body is average (5′ 4″, 140 lbs) but my mind is extraordinary! I don’t like thongs or g-strings. I prefer timeless and vintage looks over trendy – black, bright colors, jewel tones

Liquor – Bombay Sapphire gin, Maker’s Mark whisky, Ketel One vodka, Kraken rum, American Honey, peach brandy, Chardonnay, champagne, or any other premium liquor brand you want me to experience

I also like coffee, tea, and Kombucha.

How about you? What are some of your favorite things?

Pegging Pain and Pleasure

By Kendra Holliday | July 12, 2016

Years ago, I acquired this impressive, red stripey strap on:

My beautiful strap on. Photo by Stan

My beautiful strap on. Photo by Stan

But it was not great quality, so I got this black one next, which was a little bit better:

Suck it.

Suck it.

It vibrates and is a decent size, but it’s still not the superior quality I deserve.

A friend of mine showed me this amazing corset design fit for a Queen called Cherry Minx by Aslan Leather, and lo and behold, one of my dear and doting submissives got it for me!

Back view of red corset strapon

Back view of red corset strapon

front view of red corset strapon

front view of red corset strapon

Now I’ll need to decide on a good cock set to go with it – I’ll definitely need small, medium, and LARGE.

Whenever I do it, I’m reminded of how much work goes into thrusting. It takes practice, and makes me appreciate all the effort men put into their quest for sex.

A man I know who enjoys pegging with his wife told me he loves the act, but not the term. The term “pegging” came about years ago from a contest Dan Savage ran with his readers. It isn’t the best way to describe such an intimate, loving act, is it?

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How to Eat My Pussy

By Kendra Holliday | July 10, 2016

The more you know,
the more you grow.

Earlier I posted something on how to suck dick. Since women are more complex, I won’t pretend to know exactly what they all want. Some like more pressure, some like less direct stimulation, etc. But I do know what I want, so listen up! Take notes for our date…

——-
“If her legs ain’t trembling like Bambi, you ain’t eatin’ it right.” – from this HILARIOUS video about eating pussy
——-

1. Kiss me, pet me, stroke my hair. Work your way down the curves and valleys of my breasts, my belly, my hips, my thighs. I usually like lying on my back to receive your oral worship.

2. Kiss the inside of my thighs. Inhale my scent. Lick up and down my slit.

I love licking Lana!

I love licking!

3. Sure, tongue fuck me and all that good stuff. Then, focus on my clit. The key is the right speed and pressure. (This usually means licking, but sucking rhythmically can be a nice change of pace.) Don’t glue your mouth to it. Back up a little to give your tongue room to dance. Pretend you’re a cat lapping cream.

4. Keep it steady, focus. If you get tired (it might take a few minutes, especially if we’re new to each other) take a breather and kiss on my thighs again, or play with some sex toys, buzzz. But get back to it when you’re ready! And feel free to ask if the pressure/speed is right.

5. I like it even more if you put a finger or dildo inside me while you’re lickin’. You can move it slowly inside and out, or just rest it there. The sensation of having something inside is nice enough just on it’s own. I like to feel it when my muscles contract with the orgasm.

6. You’ll know I’m getting close when my legs tense up and I get quiet. And you’ll know when I cum cuz I’ll hyperventilate and erupt with some sexy or primal noise, and possibly grab your head. If we’re in church, I’ll just whisper to you that I’m cumming, so that you know what’s goin’ on, you sent me over the edge, yessss!

7. You can keep it up for a bit afterwards, I don’t go instantly sensitive. And usually after I cum I’m good n’ wet, it’s my fav foreplay, and I’m ready to fuck.

But first, I’ll give you a gold star.

This was taken in a shady glen in the country

This was taken in a shady glen in the country

Ladies, how do YOU like your pussy licked?

 

How to Receive Head: 3 Simple Suggestions

By Matthew | July 10, 2016

There are a great many resources on giving oral sex. From videos and articles, books and blog posts, one can find all kinds of information on how to give great blowjobs and eat some fierce pussy. But what about being skilled at receiving it?

Huh? Yes, you read that right.

Oral sex should satisfy both the giver and receiver at the same time, albeit not necessarily in the same way, but satisfying nonetheless. In order to make that happen, the receiver needs to be as active, at least mentally, as the giver. You have to find out what your partner likes. How? Here are some thoughts from my partner, Matthew…

You deserve oral worship.

1. Be Assertive

This is a big one. Don’t be afraid talk to your partner. This may take some getting used to for both of you. Some people find it embarrassing or “not right” to talk about sex openly, let alone talk while having it. Tell your partner what you like about what they are doing. Let them know they are making you feel good! “That feels amazing!” or “Yes!!  Right there!” are great places to start.

You can also fantasize with your partner through speech. If you know about a particular fantasy your partner has, or you have one of your own, try acting that out. Maybe she is your secretary or co-worker. Maybe he is that young stud you’ve been wanting to have your way with for a while. Roleplaying and fantasy are great ways to live out desires without the possible repercussions of actually doing them. The possibilities are endless, but you’ll never know any of them until you try.

Lastly, but certainly not in the least, if and when you have an orgasm, in the name of all that is good; vocalize it. “Yesssss!!!”  “I’m Cumming!!!” “Holy Fucking Shit!” or whatever comes out. (On the subject of whatever comes out: Men – do not surprise your partner with a mouthful of cum. You must let them know you are about to release so they can control where it goes. Unless of course you’ve talked about it and know what your partner prefers.)

2. Be Active

This can happen in numerous ways. Of course you shouldn’t immediately jam your dick down their throat or suffocate them with your grinding pussy. Start with a slight push toward them. Pay attention to their reaction or ask them if they like that. If they do, then you can push or grind a bit more. You’ll eventually find a comfortable amount for both of you. Keep in mind, everyone is different in their preferences. Some people like their face smothered or their mouth fucked hard and they get great pleasure from it.

Try touching their head, shoulder, cheeks, or hair in different ways. Remember always start lightly and move to more intense sensations. If you find your partner enjoys their hair gripped and head controlled, do it. If you find your partner likes his face ground into and thighs clinched around his cheeks, do it. It will make is more pleasurable for them.

3. Be Adaptive

Don’t get get stuck receiving oral in the same place, at the same time, in the same way, for the same reason. Try new positions like standing or lying on your side. Different environments can offer amazing amounts of excitement. Of course you need to be very mindful of some environments (i.e. elevators, cars, public bathrooms, dressing rooms, parking garages, wooded areas, etc.), but great pleasure can be realized from short sessions of oral sex. It doesn’t always have to be done to orgasmic completion. After all, foreplay and build up are great pleasure paths.

Certainly this list of thoughts and suggestions is just that. Everyone is different and derives pleasure in different ways. However, not many people want to feel like what they are doing is not appreciated. If you keep that in mind, you can come up with many more ways to make oral sex an even more amazing part of your life.

Now, go forth, and receive head.

What are your oral sex tips?

 

Face fuck

Face fuck

Oral sex worship is the #1 way to send your man into ecstasy. It feels incredible and few men can resist the opportunity for their cock to be appreciated and loved.

Best of all, his deep gratitude is bound to pay off considerably later on when he eagerly returns the favor. Here is a breakdown on how to give a great blowjob, TBK style.

Great conversation topic

Before you put your mouth to good use, ask him what he likes so you know what to lay on thick and what to avoid. Does he like his balls licked? Teeth? Lots of suction? Strong head stimulation? Slow or fast?

You can have this conversation over dinner or while sitting on the couch watching TV, but be prepared to stop what you are doing so you can practice. OR employ logistical foreplay over email or text during the day so you can prime his pump for when you see each other that evening.

Tease him

Take the tease trail. Start by kissing your most fortunate manly test subject on the mouth, temples, ears, neck, then slowly head south, kissing and licking his nipples, chest, belly – skip the dick! – thighs, balls, shaft, then finally make your way to his cock head. Murmur body-positive compliments along the way.

Once you’re there, open your damn mouth. I keep hearing from both men and women about these women with small mouths full of teeth. My mouth isn’t that big, and I can stuff something substantial in it. Though I can’t fit a soda can in it like I saw one woman do. That’s impressive. If you have TMJ/jaw issues, do the best you can and supplement with edible lube/spit/hands. Use your mouth at the head of the cock, and slick hands lower down/the base.

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