Why Am I Not Getting Laid? Mudde, Age 20
Age: 20
Sex: Male
I want to fuck: Women
I rate my appearance a: 7
I wish for a partner at least a: 7
Last time you got laid:
April 2008. I was propositioned, and so we went at it early the spring morning. If I remember correctly (and I do) it lasted a couple hours and we were really sweaty afterward. We didn’t see each other again until she was in my circus skills class the next semester, where I learned to juggle. But I digress.
Describe your fashion sense:
I’m a sucker for black, and I wear these round sunglasses a lot. They’re prescription sunglasses, if that says anything. I have a snazzy leather jacket with the portraits of H.P. Lovecraft and Franz Kafka pinned on the back. Once in a while I like to wear bright red from neck to foot because it riles up the blood.
Describe your grooming habits:
A shower is the first thing that happens when I wake up. I don’t wear cologne and I don’t take it very seriously. I brush my teeth and everything too.
Do you floss regularly?
Well, no.
Describe your voice:
It’s pretty expressive. I think I sound kind of funny, but nobody’s ever told me so.
Religion: Atheist.
Any physical issues?
Yes, yes, every facet of my life is currently being ruined by acne.
Weird habit:
I can’t step on people’s shadows if I’m thinking about it. It makes me shudder, so I usually either walk around them or jump over them. If they ask, I tell people that stepping on people’s shadows gives you nightmares.
Describe your past relationship history:
I’ve never had a really serious relationship. In high school I dated a girl for three months or so, but she wasn’t very mature and after a while I felt like I was dating a ten year old, so, creeped out, I ended it. I notice a pattern of getting into really intense but painfully nonsexual relationships with girls I’m interested in. I bet that’s a teller.
Do you have many close friends of your own gender? Of the opposite gender?
(Own) Two or three. (Opposite) About the same
Where do you live?
Purchase College in Purchase, New York
Places you hang out:
The school’s food co-op, the woods on campus, wherever there are folks to be found mostly. I have a shift at the co-op this semester, so I’m kind of bound there.
What is your financial situation?
I don’t think the amount of money I have will impress anybody, since I traded most of it for textbooks, but I have enough to have fun with.
Do you play sports or exercise regularly?
I juggle pretty vigorously.
Do you drink or smoke?
I quit drinking. I liked it a little too much, perhaps. (Smoking) Same deal, used to smoke up a storm, then I stopped because I wanted to drastically alter my life.
Addicted to anything?
Not anymore!
Job situation:
None, unless bottle redemption counts.
Your living arrangement:
I live in a dorm with a roommate
Car you drive or means of transportation:
I have a car with a Jesus fish that says “Cthulhu” inside instead.
How often do you watch television?
Not often. It’s usually kind of boring and I think modern life has too many screens as it is. Also I’d rather be interacting with other humans more than sitting passively and staring.
What kind of movies have you loved?
I don’t watch a ton of movies, but so far I loved Delicatessen, Fantastic Planet, Ghost World, and Eraserhead
What are your favorite foods and restaurants?
I like dairy and fungi. My favorite condiment is Branston Pickle. I like Indian food a lot too. Any restaurant that has Indian food that is my kind of place. I don’t eat meat so really any restaurant with a vegetarian section in the menu gets my thumbs up.
What kind of music do you listen to?
I like deathrock, (45 Grave, the Sex Gang Children, Rudimentary Peni). I’m also into Tchaikovsky (at least Marche Slav and Valse Sentimentale) and ragtime (at least the Maple Leaf Rag), and Tiny Tim and Nervous Norvus. I’m nuts about La Bolduc too, this Quebecois folk singer from the thirties who sang the silliest songs imaginable.
Do you like to read? If so, what?
You bet I like to read. I’m crazy for Lovecraft and Kafka, and I’ve read a lot less of O. Henry than I ought to. And I like Poe, of course. Right now I’m reading Leon Trotsky’s autobiography, and I’m going as him for Halloween.
How many people (of your target gender) do you currently know that you'd like to fuck? What are the obstacles with each one?
Maybe three. one is at home (home being near Philadelphia), while I’m at school in New York, I think one is “just not that into me,” one is pretty flaky and can probably be described as “just not that into me” too.
What's your fetish? What turns you on?
I like when girls laugh. I’m not sure that’s a fetish exactly, but it doesn’t hurt when they laugh during sex.
What kind of porn do you like?
I don’t really like porn. It reminds me of TV. Also the power thing.
Your thoughts on breeding:
I think eventually I can see myself wanting kids. I think I would rather adopt that make any more. There are enough people in the world as it is, and many of them need to be adopted. I wouldn’t have a problem dating someone with kids, although that would be unusual at this point in my life.
The Beautiful Kind's Answer...
I'll go ahead and get this out of the way straight off - FLOSS. OK then. So when you say you like when women laugh during sex, you mean that in a playful joyful way and not a humiliating kind of way, right? You sure have a wry sense of humor. And you're a quirky geek all right! You are SO Ghost World!
You have your work cut out for you, but don't worry - there's someone for everyone. I personally think juggling is hot, and the local atheist Joe the Juggler does quite well with the ladies, despite his Salvador Dali mustache. And note the St. Louis Juggling Club's disclaimer:
Our full name is the Stanger Organization for the Study of Epistemology and Juggling, which, although pronounced “sausage” should in no way be construed as to mean that our members either endorse the meat-packing industry or even espouse carnivorous diets. By the way, it’s not a typo, the word is “Stanger”—inspired by Al Stanger (against his wishes), one of our members. The acronym never much caught on, though, and we usually just call ourselves, The St. Louis Juggling Club.
Yep, you've found your niche. You should bill yourself as the "Red Devil" and wear all red as you juggle. No sense in pointing you to online dating sites - you're going to need to meet a girl at a convention or something. Have you ever seen the documentary Confessions of a Superhero? There's a guy in there who thinks he is Superman and he finds this woman who thinks she is Crystal Gayle, and he proposes to her in front of a bunch of people in a VA hall at a Superman convention in Illinois and they live happily ever after.
You need to meet a girl like that. Join an atheist group, too - they are crawling with geeky smartypants girls. And isn't that co-op full of cute vegetarians? That's a selling point in my opinion. Have you thought about joining any vegetarian groups?
Readers, do you have any acne tips? I still get zits at 36 and have never found a great solution, though I like to think my oily face keeps me looking youthful. It definitely greases the way towards getting laid!
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
YATBK: Penny Karma
YATBK: Penny Karma
Friday, September 25, 2009
Just How Much of an Exhibitionist Are You?
Just How Much of an Exhibitionist Are You?
16 Responses to "Mudde"
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eowyn
Acne sucks. I highly recommend seeing a dermatologist. If you have consistent prolific acne you need a prescription. My brother and sister in law have both had to use oral meds and not just topical stuff. The good news is that some of the oral stuff is so strong you only need it for a few months, with sometimes a 2nd course. The bad news is that it's not cheap (although some insurances will cover it) and can really dry out your skin during use. But a good dermatologist will help you out with that.
Also, something I found out recently. TBK, since you have long hair, if you use conditioner it can cause acne (especially back acne). Make sure conditioner is always washed off the skin. I used to always use my conditioner last in the shower, now I wash my body after I rinse the conditioner out of my hair and it has made a big difference!
:)
Kaia
Greases the way toward getting laid. I love it!
I think the only reason you are having trouble getting laid is because you have distinguished, interesting tastes and it's hard to find a woman who matches that. So definitely take TBK's advice! Join more groups and circles and meet more people!
Chirp
There are so many people not getting laid lately!
Hypocrite
I agree with TBK that the co-op has the potential to open some possibilities (and hopefully legs) for you. Just make sure you have a social aspect to it (don't spend your breaks reading, socialize!)
As you're majoring in creative writing, also take the time to be involved in whatever student groups (formal or not) that exist - networking, both for your writing as well as for the opposite sex.
(on a tangent, I had a friend who, when we were assigned to read The Metamorphosis, he watched The Fly (1986 remake with Goldblum), thinking it was the movie adaptation)
Nina
There are so many people not getting laid lately! - agreed!
Why Am I Not Getting Laid, YATBK, Why Am I Not Getting Laid .. this blog is getting boring :(
Hypocrite
'.. this blog is getting boring"
Could you post the URL of your blog so we can see where all the excitement is?
Not trying to WK TBK too bad here, but come on, if you don't like it, try figuring out a way to help spice it up.
Complaining without solutions? Now _that's_ boring.
Marie Haynes
TBK boring??? Really???? Not in my universe! Hell - she can even make something as mundane as flossing exciting!
Kaia
I think WAINGL and YATBK are the best parts of the blog because they promote self-improvement and inner beauty. That isn't boring!
The Beautiful Kind
Nina just wants to hear more stories about how Beast kicks my ass and makes me cum in wildly weird ways. :)
Toni
Aaah, acne...
Yes, I had that problem. Until I discovered a sure fire, one shot killer home made remedy for them:
TOOTHPASTE
No kidding. You just put a smidgin of toothpaste on the acne and leave it on at least until it stops stinging, overnight is even better. Some say smearing it on your face and leaving it on overnight works as an excellent preventive, but I couldn't try that out (I sleep on my stomach and lack spare linen). Try it out and let me know ;)
Nina
TBK knows me better than I know myself :)
Hypocrite - Im not a professional blogger = this is not my aim to make people excited but I do have a few readers, unfortunately it is written in my mother tongue.
try figuring out a way to help spice it up - well, I can think of that :)
Kaia
I agree with u, WAINGL and YATBK do promote self-improvement and inner beauty but somehow presented personalities are quite repetitive, I know it sounds illogical as each personality is different. what I mean here is that YATBK people are a bit of the same kind - ecorts, models, pierced, tatoo painted girls blah blah. sometimes I would love to read about simple vanilla people. that is all. kisses
The Beautiful Kind
Nina, I TOTALLY beg to differ with you on the YATBKs! Last week's YATBK is a stay-at-home mom. The week before? Another regular mom former body builder. Tomorrow's is a dancer, the one after that is a librarian, the one after that asked me why I wanted her to be YATBK because she is so vanilla compared to many that I feature. YATBKs are from all walks of life - sex bloggers, BDSM educators, romance writers, soccer moms, personal trainers, social workers, transgender, geeks... I'm not snagging them from some model site. They are REAL people, and I think they are all wildly interesting and special, not repetitive at all!
Nina
oh, I know they are all so unique and special! and this is the aim of the project - to show and appreaciate this uniqueness! I know! but somehow I regarded them to represent a/one given kind of women - definitely not vanilla one, but now I know I was wrong. I am looking forward to read the librarian YATBK, yes, a lot!
what does it mean I TOTALLY beg to differ with you ?
I dont get it. hugs and kisses! hope u dont take an offence! you know I am a demanding reader! I am teasing you to make your blog better, my sweet lady! :) greetings from Europe
The Beautiful Kind
Nina, yes I know, you are offering valuable constructive criticism and feedback, and I appreciate it!
xoxo Kisses from the bible belt!
PS: "I totally beg to differ from you" means "I do not agree with you."
Nina
yes our opinions are different but we are soulmates anyway !
thx for teaching me good English :)
silvershovler
this is a little selfish but where did he get that Jesus fish that says “Cthulhu”? that is great i want one just to mess with the people at work.
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