Cute, Sexy, or Beautiful?

By Kendra Holliday | May 15, 2018

Yep, beautiful wins.

The other day one of my friends on facebook posted:

This question is for the ladies…. would you rather men look at you and say, “your cute”, “your sexy”, or “your beautiful”?

First of all, let’s get this part out of the way.

Your vs You’re

Over 40 women responded, including me.

Interestingly, the word “beautiful” won by a landslide.

I jumped in right away, declaring, “Sexy hands down. Reverse it: when you look at a man, do you want him to be sexy, cute, or handsome?”

No one had interest in being cute. We were all in our 30’s and 40’s, after all. Cute is for kids and kittens.

As more comments came in, it became clear that in our society, the word “sexy” has negative, superficial connotations.

This was news to me!

I always go around telling people, “I don’t care what my partners look like, as long as they are SEXY.”

To me, sexy comes from personality and confidence. Looking like a fashion model does not make me want to hump someone, but if they are sexy, I want to gobble them up.

Some opined that if a person was beautiful, that automatically made them sexy. I disagree.

In fact, I stated: “Being sexy is about personality and confidence, which comes from within. Not everyone can be beautiful by society’s unrealistic standards, but EVERYONE can be sexy and REAL if they get in touch with their desires.”

Then I realized the name of my blog.

It’s called The Beautiful Kind, not The Sexy Kind.

Should I change it?!

Ha, just kidding about that.

I got the name from my daughter, who came up with it when she was six. And for the record, she was super cute.


Capn Marrrrk 2012-06-21 08:03:07

I’m just riffing here, all opinions are my own:

Cute is both personality and appearance. It contains a level of “innocence”. Cute is attractive without the mysterious x-factor that moves one “up” to beautiful. Cute can be sexy, and with the right clothes can jump to gorgeous. In the eye of the beholder, Cute can transform to Beautiful. I know you would rather have people discuss it on your site, but there are a lot of good comments here:


    Kendra Holliday 2012-06-24 15:42:57

    Thanks for that link! Definitely added some pretty and hot to the topic!


Matthew 2012-06-21 10:41:13

In a potential partner, a woman being “sexy” is a must. If I am giving someone I don’t know a compliment, I would use “beautiful”. Someone I know and am already acquainted with generally gets “cute” because of something they did, or an outfit they are wearing. “Beautiful” and “cute” are pretty general terms for me….”sexy” is pretty specific.


Kitty 2012-06-22 09:43:12

As far as what I’d prefer to be called, it would honestly be “cute.” Because that’s what I feel like I am. If someone called me “beautiful” or “sexy,” I would not believe them. In fact, I’d wonder if they had some sort of ulterior motive in doing so.


Beth 2012-06-26 15:02:36

It depends on the circumstances for me. I like being called cute because I like to feel playful still at 30 years old. But I love to be called sexy as well. I don’t mind beautiful but it makes me feel more awkward because I’ve never really felt beautiful. Beautiful to me seems to require a sense of grace which I am definitely lacking. You can dress me up and I’ll feel beautiful briefly and then I’ll drop food on myself lol. So my preference is sexy and cute


Erosia 2012-06-30 10:55:40

I totally agree with the SEXY connotation, its all about the confidence and how you carry yourself in front of other people. It does not really matter if you’re SLIM or big, what matters is how your partner perceive you as a person.


Wilma Gibson 2012-07-05 21:08:23

Kendra —

I am not “cute,” whether I am “sexy,” only you can decide.

My understanding of the English allows me to discern between “your” and “you’re.” The fact that your “average” commenter cannot discern the difference gives me great pause.

If the question is, “Are you ‘super-cute’?” the answer is (unequilocally) “yes.”

So, nopw that we both agree, what do we do?!?


polynewb 2013-07-26 10:01:00

I’d say “sexy” because it implies ultimate attraction and most guys, (unless it’s near closing time ha!) won’t use that word unless they’re trying to sleep with you. If a guy calls me cute, If automatically assume hbanished me to the friend zone. In my opinion, beautiful would be reserved for Heidi Klumesesque type women. What happened to pretty? Pretty…. it’s wholesome with a touch of I want to do you thrown in lol.


Mark 2013-07-29 19:44:25

some of these words (cute/beautiful/sexy) can mean various things, cute can also be personality, but is often used appearance (and depending on the type and definition of cute, can be very hot!) beautiful to me is always superficial, doesn’t mean a whole lot. Sexy is more about attitude. the way a woman acts, the way she carries herself, the way she dresses. Nothing is as big of a turn on (for me anyways) as attitude. you can be the most attractive / beautiful woman alive, but it wont get you far without the right attitude / confidence levels to back it up.
As a guy, I would find myself more attracted to a “Sexy” lady then a beautiful one, because (to me) one is superficial and one is not..

however society’s rules (pet peve of mine) seem to allow words like beautiful (superficial) but referring to someone as sexy can often be considered offensive. so unless im behind closed doors, you wont see me using the term very often…

(possibly why Beautiful won a Facebook poll which would be public and people can see what you vote for, its more politically correct)


Algor_Langeaux 2013-08-03 07:22:56

Clearly not a woman here, but *I* prefer partners who would prefer “brilliant” or “smart” or “funny” over any of these…

…but then I am a sapiosexual, so…



Snatal 2018-05-18 15:02:21

Cute has everything to do with personality and playfulness. Beautiful is always an appropriate description for a woman. Sexy is an attitude and also a feeling that gives one confidence as well as a term that describes the attractiveness of someone. When someone possesses all three, the attraction it’s just WOW!


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