Does Your Vagina Stink?
By Kendra Holliday | February 13, 2013 at 6:50 am
Ed Note: My friend posted this on facebook the other day:
“So anyone who is close to me knows that I have some very strong opinions about the way modern society portrays the female genitals. One aspect of that topic is ‘cleanliness’, or the idea that the female anatomy is somehow naturally ‘dirty’ or ‘smelly’ and therefore women need products to help ‘correct’ the problem.
I found this Summer’s Eve ad in a magazine today and I almost screamed.
This is not OK.
Don’t forget your ‘V’ this valentines day’???
Fuck you, Summer’s Eve. Fuck you for building an industry around making women feel terrible about their bodies and their sexuality, and for pushing ideas and products that are actually counterproductive to vaginal health. And fuck you for implying that I need to go ‘wash my gross vagina’ before I let someone near it this Valentines Day. I invite anyone to share this who is tired of being told they need to douse their genitals in floral perfume to be considered worthy of attraction or physical affection.”
So, I’m sharing it.
Your vagina is like a tidal pool, a natural ecosystem. It’s self cleaning for the most part.
Recently, I had a man tell me that he avoids sex with his wife because she turns him off. She never washes down there. It gets rank.
I hung out with another couple the other day, and the wife confessed to me, “My husband says my vagina smells.”
I felt so sad for her!
Look, if I don’t wash for a day or two, it starts to smell pissy and funky down there. I don’t like the way it smells. Some women smell poopy down there, or taste very salty. Every vagina is different.
I’m a fortunate woman – my man loves my pussy. He especially loves it on his face. He could bury his face and dick and anything else he can think of in it all day. I have a good idea what he and my other play partners want my pussy to be like when they first get their hands on it. They want it to be fresh and clean.
There have been about two or three times in the past five years where we in bed about to get frisky and he asked me to go rinse off. Did I get offended? No!
If you want to make sure your vagina smells naturally delicious and is in edible condition, all you have to do is RINSE IT BEFORE YOU COME IN CLOSE CONTACT WITH SOMEONE.
You don’t even have to use soap if you don’t want to.
If you worked all day and you have a date that night, you should have a wash before your date. ESPECIALLY if you worked out or wore tights. My vagina hates when I wear tights – she feels like I’m choking her out.
In order to have a healthy vagina, you need to pay attention to it. Pretend it’s like a pet. Groom it, wash it, feed it, give it toys, LOVE IT.
So, for the sake of couples everywhere – for the men whose wives don’t wash, for the women whose husbands insult them, I give you this gift for Valentine’s Day.
HOW TO CLEAN YOUR VAGINA SO IT IS TASTY:
1. Quickest way: Get some Swipes Lovin Wipes – Unscented 42 Pack
2. Quick and dirty way: A whore’s bath. Strip from the waist down. Throw a towel down on the floor. Stand in front of the sink and splash water on your cunt. Add a little soap if you want. Rub your wet hand on pussy. Rinse. Repeat. Sniff hand every few times. If it stinks, keep washing. When your hand stops stinking, you have rinsed enough. Pat pussy dry with towel. Tips: Don’t forget your asshole area. Be wary of leaving any traces of soap behind.
3. More involved way: Take a shower. In the shower, wash pussy with hand (I don’t use wash clothes because they might smell like mildew). Prop a leg up on the wall or side of tub (don’t slip – use bathmat!). Insert finger in vagina, soapy or unsoaped. I use a light soap. Do a sweep with your finger. Pull it out and rinse. Do this a few times and then sniff your finger to make sure it’s all clear. If it’s not, do it again. Repeat for ass area, using other hand, but don’t bother sticking finger in your asshole unless you plan on playing with it later. Exit shower. Pat pussy dry with towel.
4. Most thorough way: Take a bath, scented with soapy suds or LUSH bombs or not. Lie back in the bath and bask in the warmth. Play with your pussy, inside and out. Exit bath. Pat pussy dry with towel.
Following any of these methods, it is highly recommended that you enjoy oral sex or any other kind of sex you want!
You don’t have to trim or shave your pussy in order for it to be cleaner. Personally, I prefer shaving the lips and keeping a bush on top. And the goal is not to make your pussy odorless. You’re just hitting the reset button and then you and your partner get to have fun getting it dirty again together! And if your partner prefers a stronger smelling pussy, adjust cleaning schedule accordingly.
NOTE: These tips work for me. I have a healthy, hardy vagina. I’m not prone to STIs, UTIs, bacterial, or yeast infections. If you have a special needs vagina, see your doctor. Or, maybe trying out these tips will help you achieve a healthy vagina, too! (PS: Peeing and then rinsing or washing after sex is another good way to keep things healthy down there. I mean, don’t get me wrong – I’ll totally fall asleep with a pussy full of cum when I’m with my partner, but if I’m having a play session with someone and we’ve used a condom for safer sex, I wash up afterward.)
How about you – are you already aware of the above? What is your cleaning routine? What does your partner prefer? Have you ever encountered a stinky vagina?
Comments
Matthew 2013-02-13 09:05:54
Great Post! I’m glad you put your cleaning routine out there, because for me, it’s perfect. I don’t like the smell of anything but pussy when I’m involved with pussy. The natural scent of a woman gets my blood flowing like no other on the planet! In fact I would prefer flowers to smell like pussy. The reciprocal is not true, however!
Give me woman, hear me roar!!!!
Gator McKlusky 2013-02-13 10:11:11
“Your vagina is like a tidal pool, a natural ecosystem. It’s self cleaning for the most part.”
And therein lies the problem. The average American diet is completely unnatural, unhealthy and full of sugar, yeast and starch. It’s going to smell unhealthy if you are unhealthy, unexercised, overweight and have poor nutrition (aka now the majority of American women). Nature figured out how to let a man know a mate was suitable for bearing his offspring a long time ago.
B 2013-02-13 20:53:03
I’m fat and my pussy smells just fine thank you very much. Don’t make the gross assumption
That just because someone is fat that they are dirty and smell bad.
Dubdub 2013-02-15 07:20:29
I’m not speaking for Gator, but if you think diet diet doesn’t effect your odor (vaginal and overall), you might want to enroll in some local physiology classes. Yes, there are plenty of healthy, so-called overweight folks, but the idea that the American-government subsidized corn, soybean and wheat diet (et al.) doesn’t effect your physiology is wishful thinking at best. There are hosts of laymen books out there addressing this disturbing American (and increasingly exported) way of life. Start with Pollan’s Ominvore’s Dilemma and follow his further book sources.
Dubdub 2013-02-13 10:37:55
Gator is much closer to the mark. Maybe you should append your article with diet in mind.
Kendra Holliday 2013-02-13 11:20:11
WOW very interesting comment. Harsh, but true?…hmm… I won’t update this post with diet in mind, I already tainted it slightly with the mention of hair. Grooming, diet, and more all deserve their own posts.
Bianca 2013-02-13 10:53:14
It’s strange how it seems like common sense to me, but I guess it isn’t for everyone. I keep my vagina clean, I don’t overdo it or am paranoid about it. Just keep it clean like your teeth and mouth. No perfumes, lotions or anything that changes it’s natural smell and flavor. Boys and girls will appreciate your natural self.
Kendra Holliday 2013-02-13 11:22:08
It’s kindof like this article:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/
This is also common sense, but many people aren’t aware. Maybe if they are made aware and face things and think about them, positive change can take place.
fuzzilla 2013-02-13 11:53:10
I read in one of those Yahoo “helpful tips” article that it’s important to make sure you’re absolutely dry/towel off really well to avoid b.o. (overall b.o., both men and women).
Pipcaso 2013-02-13 14:58:38
Each rose smells different from another and the same flower will smell different at different times. Malodorous cootch may be a sign of infection. Non STI vaginitis occurs when the healthy flora that grows on the vaginal walls gets over run by yeast and other “bad” microbes. Your rant against the douche industry loses punch when you yourself counsel internal rinses. Keeping the outside parts clean is important but even the whore’s bath is mostly external unless a condom has broke. Putting soap inside is not recommended, even sterile water can upset the normal balance of organisms.
Women with yeast infections or non specific vaginitis can use a douche of diluted plain yogurt to plant the healthy lactobacili in their womanly garden.
Your suggestion to keep your ass clean is very important.
PUSSY…yum, yum, eat em up.
Frank 2013-02-14 08:12:47
I absolutely love the smell and taste of my wife’s V after a long day or after exercise or whatnot.
There is however a remarkable similarity in the complaints of both sexes, where many women don’t like giving blow jobs or tasting cum, whereas eating pussy you can not exactly avoid the taste without using a dental dam.
To those suggesting size or diet have something to do with this, a former GF had the most amazing pussy, she was quite overweight, smoked and didn’t hold back from eating anything she wanted. Another GF was quite healthy but had serious PH issues down there.
Gator said “Nature figured out how to let a man know a mate was suitable for bearing”, however really until a few short years ago pussies were covered in hair, up until a few decades ago they weren’t washed all that often. I love a shaved and clean pussy, but that’s very opposite of what our brains have been wired to look for the last 10,000 years.
Under-aged 2013-02-14 21:41:25
I remember you trying out this teabag that made your pussy taste and smell like maple syrup. What was the product called again?
Kendra Holliday 2013-02-14 21:51:11
I JUST threw that old tin away – it was called… um… passion tea? There were two flavors, maple and orgasm enhancer?? Not sure if it’s made anymore. I wasn’t sold on it.
Swingsbothways 2013-02-15 01:36:14
All really good points except the one about the bubble bath!! The bubbles trap dirt in them and can cause you to get a vaginal infection. It’s best to shower before you relax in the suds.
And on the bright side – at least we no longer have those stupid Massengil commercials. Remember the tag line about that, “not so fresh feeling?”
Max 2013-02-15 10:18:56
Thank you for talking about what people are afraid of. I have found that it works both ways…. Men, is you want your partner to go down there you should do the courtesy of keeping it fresh and clean. Swipes Lovin Wipes are for men and women. Keep it sexy keep it green #sharethelovin
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