An Extraordinary Relationship

Me 5 years ago.

I met my partner Matthew in 2007, when I was living with his best friend.

Matthew was married.

I looked like this.  ——–>

Then, Matthew’s wife left him after 10 years of monogamous marriage..

He was single.

Then, I went off the pill.

I got pregnant with his best friend.

I had an abortion.

At some point soon after, Matthew walked by me, and I smelled him.

I mean, I REALLY smelled him. For the first time, free of the artificial hormones that kept me tame and domesticated, I felt wild chemistry and wanted to tackle him right then and there.

He smelled like whiskey, tobacco, testosterone, meat, comfort, danger, risk, my savior, an untamed pear orchard, Reaction cologne.

I wanted to taste him – chew him up and swallow him. Make him a part of me.

But I had to wait.

First, I had to break up with his best friend. We weren’t well-matched – he wanted a monogamous relationship, and I knew I couldn’t live with that arrangement long-term.

I became homeless, and their friendship fell apart.

Finally, after a few months of agonizing waiting, Matthew and I shared our first kiss in 2008, and began our yearly cabin ritual soon thereafter.

This year marked our fifth cabin getaway.

I marvel at how little we have in common, how unconventional our relationship is, yet how solid we are.

He is my best friend.

I know I can count on him, and tell him everything. Not only can I tell him everything, but I can DO most anything – follow my heart’s desire, act out my fantasies, experience things most people wouldn’t even dream of.

Us, 3 years ago.

I know some people claim they married their best friend, and thank him for putting up with their mood swings or weird habits or whatever, but I’m pretty sure I take that to the next level, and I must say I’m very grateful I have found someone who accepts me for who I am, because I’m an extraordinary woman. An ordinary man would not be able to cope with my openly strong desires and sense of sexual adventure.

I’m so glad I have found an extraordinary man.

He is mature, level-headed, patient, confident, strong, authentic, and open-minded.

I’m not sure how he turned out that way, since he grew up in the mainstream conservative Midwest, but there’s something about him that allows him to think outside the cage, and fearlessly embrace new experiences.

Best of all, he is a true feminist – strong, sexual women do not scare him. In fact, he encourages women to go after what they want and not hold back, because he knows that if the women in our society are free and happy, then men and children will benefit.

He appreciates real women. I am a real woman.

I am true to myself. We allow ourselves to live open and honestly.

We are free.

We are also secure, supported, loved. All of our emotional and physical needs are met, and then some.

Me, 2012. Photo by Stan Strembicki.

Not only do we get to explore new places, restaurants and movies, but we get to intimately explore new people as well. We enjoy a wider scope of novelty and pleasure than most.

Our cup runneth over with the juices of life – an amazingly exotic and erotic cocktail of yin and yang, bourbon and blood, sweet and salty.

The most important ingredients are love and respect.

This is me now. My friend Stan Strembicki took this portrait of me about a month after my hysterectomy. I wasn’t feeling well and my hair wasn’t done. Except for a tiny bit of makeup, I am completely natural. I’m tired and almost 40. I wasn’t in the mood to be photographed, so I just crossed my arms and stared into the lens. I think it turned out beautiful. I’m comfortable in my own skin, and I am happy with my life. I am at peace.

I know I am loved, just like this, and it’s such a nice feeling.