By Kendra Holliday | November 25, 2016
This holiday season, I’m feeling very nostalgic.
You see, my parents 50th wedding anniversary was this week.
FIFTY YEARS OF MARRIAGE.
My mom is one of the only truly monogamous people I know.
She has only been with one person her entire life.
Isn’t that IRONIC??? I’m the opposite – I’ve been with hundreds of people. I’m SO non-monogamous.
How about you? How many people have you been with? How do you feel about it?
A few years ago, my parents renewed their vows, because they weren’t sure they would make it to their Golden Anniversary.
My veteran dad had open heart surgery in 2005 after retiring from a 30 year career and delving into two more government jobs. So earnest and gullible.
And my mom.
Well, she has had more near death experiences than I can count – childbirth, child death, mother guilt, resentment, confusion, suicide attempts, cutting, bashing, languishing, slicing, dicing, overdosing, psychotic episodes, hallucinating, mania, depression, dumpster diving, dog and people rescuing, child abusing, drug rehab, halfway houses, driving into ditches, crumpled up in closets and outhouses, ER visits, endless falling, bleeding, heart stopping, toxic drug levels…
Life can be fucking brutal.
They are stubborn and of strong stock.
Here is the song that was played at their renewal of vows. My baby sis chose it (she’s 12 yrs younger than me – we span their reproductive love story – it went girl-boy-girl-boy-girl):
I love how the colors start out red, like blood, then blue is added, and it turns purple. Purple is a healing color. Purple is what people could wear after a year of mourning, back in the day.
It reminds me of this song. Yes, I KNOW it’s super cheesy, but it symbolizes so much:
Celine Dion is an angel, overseeing their fate.
Love conquers all.
Here is an image of my parent’s hands in 1966, at their wedding:
Here is a picture of their hands, 50 years later.
Like Isidor and Ida Straus, they would have gone down together on the sinking ship.
I reflected on my own marriage. I got married in 1996. This was our iconic shot.
Anyone who knows me knows I am not one to get a French manicure, so you can see I got dolled up for my big day! And it sure looks weird.
My ex-husband and I were married for seven years.
The last year was bad, and I bailed. I hopped on the life boat and left him behind.
He was so hurt and angry; bitterly, he snatched my diamond ring back.
What if I had stuck with it, through good times and bad, like I vowed?
This is my hand now:
And now, I’ve traded the traditional wedding ring for a K pendant my new partner gave me eight years ago, which is like our commitment collar:
It’s so shiny; just had it polished. Here’s a better shot:
“K” stands for “Kept”, “King”, “Kendra”, “Kinky”…. 🙂
Will it last longer than our relationship? Will we make it a decade??
My parents got a hotel room to celebrate, and we visited them there.
I’m the meat in this 50th anniversary sandwich! They stayed together for the children. 😁 pic.twitter.com/M5gTFNwjfr
— Kendra Holliday (@TBK365) November 24, 2016
Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing – congratulations on making it there.
Even if you are The Walking Dead. LOL
Don’t forget to celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how twisted they are.
Keep surviving until you get to rest.