Happy New Year!

By Kendra Holliday | January 4, 2014 at 7:20 am

The New Year made me all retrospective, which resulted in my last two posts – Top 10 Things That Have Been in My Vagina and 10 Worst Things That Have Been in My Vagina.

That last post left me feeling pretty gross, so I want to slam this blog with a bunch of positive energy.

On New Year’s Day, I did something I’ve been wanting to do for a LONG time – clean and organize my sex toy cabinet. I used to keep my sex toys in a big hat box by my bed, but my collection grew too big, so now I use the hat box for condoms and bought a cabinet off Craigslist for $100. (I wonder what the cabinet held before, and why they sold it… ((I always wonder about people and their stuff, their houses, how they decorate, what they are drawn to))… but anyway!)

My toy cabinet was getting down in the dumps – all dusty and shit thrown in there randomly. It was not a respectful shrine, so I took the time to carefully clean, regard, and reorganize all the contents. It made me really appreciate my collection. I should use this stuff more!!! I have a bad habit of sticking to the same things – I have go to’s.

I’m really proud of how it turned out. Can you spot any of the toys from my Top 10 List??

TOYS!! GLORY!!

TOYS!! GLORY!!

Next time, I want to get a manservant to clean it with reverence while I lounge nearby in sexy lingerie, sipping a cocktail and reading a sex book and looking on…

Comments

Elizabeth 2014-01-05 18:45:07

Super prude-ish question: has your daughter seen your collection? This isn’t coming from a place of judgement, but curiosity. My daughter and I have a close relationship and I want her to be able to talk to me about everything. Still, she’s a teenager and…well, we’ve all felt like the idea of our parents as sexual beings is completely gross at some point, right?! So, I’m asking, what’s your approach?

Reply

    Kendra Holliday 2014-01-05 19:15:54

    Yes, she knows about my collection. She’s known about it since she was 5. At that age, I brushed it off and told her they were magic wands, but at age 7, she finally confronted me and demanded the truth. Kids know better! And I did tell her the truth.

    At the time, I kept my sex toys in a hat box by my bed. She flipped the lid of the toy box, and whipped out the glorious iRabbit. She waved it in my face and said, “OK. Now tell me what this is REALLY for.”

    “Well, that is a toy for grown up women. You put it in your vagina and it massages you on the inside and outside. It feels good.”

    Her eyes lit up. “Really!? Can I try that?”

    “No, it’s only for grown ups. You’re not ready for that, but maybe when you’re a teenager.”

    She seemed very pleased that we were talking frankly, so she pushed on. “What about these?” She started pulling my glass dildos out one by one and laid them on the bed in a rainbow.

    “Those also go in the vagina, they’re pretty, aren’t they?”

    She said, “I guess you can put all kinds of things in your vagina, right? I mean, even I was in your vagina when I was born, ha ha!” I told her you had to be careful and not get an infection or put anything dangerous up there, but that she didn’t need to think about that for a long, long time.

    She grabbed the purple glass plug and said with a little smirk, “This goes up your butt, doesn’t it?”

    “Yes,” I admitted. GEEZ!

    I sighed with relief when the interrogation was finally over – she pulled out every damn toy in that box and quizzed me. I felt awkward, but she felt great.

    When her curiosity was satisfied, she beamed and gave me a huge hug and said all glowing and happy, “I’m so glad you are telling me the truth about all this! I can handle it, you know. You’re the best mommy ever.” Afterwards she kept saying, “Wow. Wow! I learned so much today!”

    So, she’s known all along that grown ups have toys, and she thinks that is great. She was WAY more curious about them when they were stashed away. Once I started displaying them in a case, she was no longer intrigued. She’s 13 now. It’s a total non-issue.

    Reply

      Algor_Langeaux 2014-01-07 06:40:27

      I was honored last Christmas to be able to help my daughter and her new boyfriend get some good quality sex toys, so that they wouldn’t end up exploring with toys that weren’t safe, or of low quality. They are college students in their undergraduate program, and I would really prefer that they don’t try to “make do” and end up with toys that are either a waste of money, or made out of materials that aren’t healthy.

      We had a long talk about what sorts of things they were curious about, what sorts of things they were attracted to, and what their priorities were, and ended up getting a nice collection of goodies for them.

      It is wonderful to have open and HEALTHY lines of communication with our children about sexuality and sex toys… at any age.

      Reply

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