Vintage Pulp Shoot Causes Friction
By Kendra Holliday | May 21, 2012 at 4:00 pm
I’m a member of the STL Alternative Models and Photography Group (AMP) on Meetup. It’s led by Teya King, one of the most fearless and brazen women in town. She’s a tireless performer, model, and activist. She runs a workout boot camp that leaves Marines in the dust.
The group is always holding theme shoots, and one in particular caused quite an uproar in the local art community. Intrigued and amused, I asked Teya about it, and here is what she had to say:
“As I always do, I wanted to have a genre-specific photography event and I thought Vintage Pulp would be a fun and exciting genre for our group. Vintage Pulp is a classic genre, used on the covers of many, many crime novels and also, of course, the main genre of the movie Pulp Fiction (from where I got the idea).
The models and photographers were instructed to stay with the theme by dressing in Vintage Pulp costumes, and to do their best to recreate Vintage Pulp scenes from books and artwork. I was VERY specific that I wanted my female models to look “beautifully fucked-up” and for my male models to look like drug-addicts, thugs, gangsters, losers or a combination of all, ha. A lot of people brought their own vintage weapons, including classic sub-machine guns, realistic-looking plastic knives and guns and swords and syringes – you name it. The models were FANTASTIC. There was a lot of simulated violence, sexually suggestive scenes, blood and gore. It was GREAT! Here are some examples from the shoot:
Photo by Mike Estes, from Vintage Pulp photoshoot
Photo by Mike Estes
Photo by Tim Rulo
Photo by Mike Albers (hearts added by me for the comfort of the models)
Teya continues: “I really pushed to get the type of look and feel that Neil Krug (one of my all-time favorite photographer/artists) created in his classic Pulp series. The shoot was a fantastic success, with twenty+ models and more than thirty photographers. I’ve never seen a group of people work so hard, and so well together. They sweated their collective asses off, and had a great time. If you look at the really bloody fight scenes (which were all choreographed, picture by picture), in many of them the FEMALE models (’cause it was only the females involved the fight-scenes. yes, that’s right. The ‘bitches’ brought it!) are laughing hysterically between-takes.
I usually have a couple of people a YEAR leave the group, due to moving, not being able to make events, etc. After the Pulp shoot, I had about ten people leave the group. One of them left because he ‘didn’t like seeing the shots of violence.’ Another woman left after saying the group was obviously ‘leaning towards violence.’ Really? ONE photo shoot in SEVEN years that deals with simulated scenes of violence and that’s where the group is going?
Teya wrote a letter to those who protested, and gave me permission to share it:
Although we as a group have always been a little edgy when it came to our photographic events (and for that I am extremely grateful, as portrait work would bore the bejezus outta me), I have taken a lot of flak for hosting our Vintage Pulp Shoot. I wanted to take the time to apologize sincerely to all that were offended by our ‘violent’ images and to say, without hesitation:
Get Over It.
Vintage Pulp, like any other genre, runs with a specific theme and every one of our models and photographers knew that. No one was injured in the shoot, the blood was FAKE, the violence was FAKE, and most of our models VOLUNTEERED to take part. The Pulp Shoot was ONE shoot, done very well, and we had a LOT of fun. So much fun, in fact, that we decided to create a very tongue-in-cheek musical out of the theme, which many of you know is in production, now.
In our musical, the gals play the ‘bad guys’ and get to torment our boys, so Karma, indeed, proves to be a sexy bitch.
As for the people that have left the group because of the ‘violence,’ I say, Oh Well. I refuse to censor our photography albums when we are within our legal rights and within the group’s rules to post them. Vintage Pulp is hard-hitting stuff, but it IS art. And a lot of art, for whatever reasons, can be controversial.
Yeah, there was implied violence in our shots. So what? A lot of our themes have dealt with controversial subject matters. Again: our violence was fake, and the photo shoot was a group effort that everyone involved seemed to enjoy – a lot. We’re all grown-ups, and if anyone in this group really thinks that violence is what we’re about, then they really are morons.
I’ll go put on my flak-jacket now. In the meantime, have a lovely day. Our next shoot is around the corner and will concentrate on butterflies and baby chipmunks.”
Yeah, those baby chipmunks better watch out…
Photo by Tim Rulo
What do you think? Do these photos portraying violence against women and men cross a line? Like BDSM, is it okay for adults to roleplay dark fantasies in this manner? Is it dangerous to combine sex and violence? Personally, I think a woman leading an edgy group like this is feminist and badass.
In the meantime, you can go check out the group in action at their musical “Pulp Friction” on May 31 at The Crack Fox and see for yourself what all the fuss is about.
His Favorite Lingerie
By Kendra Holliday | May 19, 2012 at 10:25 am
My man likes the sexy dresses, fishnet stockings and all that, but what he loves most is the casual, natural look.
Jeans and a tank top, no bra:
Hanging out at home wearing jeans & tank top
Stripped down just a little bit more:
Live
These boy shorts say: life . energy . intelligence
What attire do you find sexiest?
Improving Your Sex Life
By Kendra Holliday | May 18, 2012 at 4:32 pm
We all deserve happy relationships! Try something new! Photo by Steve Truesdell
Ed Note: The following is a guest post by Brandy.
Many couples who have been together for a long time have a problem that is difficult to admit to, let alone set about fixing: their sex lives become stale after a while. In some ways, this is perfectly normal. There are plenty of ways of avoiding the problem, but the reality is that lots of couples stop trying new things at a certain point, and not long after that they lose some level of interest in each other.
Of course, the important question becomes this: how do you reinvigorate a sex life that has lost some of its excitement? There are a number of things you can do to address this sort of issue, and fortunately most of them are quite simple. But here are a few ideas that often help couples who are struggling sexually.
• Communicate – It seems like the simplest thing you could possibly say to people who have been in a relationship, but at the same time it is something that many people need to remind themselves of. It’s okay to be open and honest with your sexual partner, and it is a simple fact that the only way to help your partner to better understand your needs and desires is to explain them.
• Try new things – Communication is important, but it isn’t enough on its own. You also need to be ready and willing to try new things in bed. This might mean simply doing something different for your partner, or it may even mean going a bit further, perhaps looking into sex toys and accessories some place like adameve.com. If you have never tried anything like this before, it may seem like a bit of a strange step to take – but at the same time, there are plenty of couples out there who would encourage you to try it!
• Have fun – Many people, especially struggling couples, find that sex becomes a bit too serious. Granted, there are times and moods for this, but in general, sex is supposed to be enjoyed by both people. Obviously, it is important to be passionate and romantic in your sexual relations with your partner, but if you try to also maintain the idea that what you are doing is fun, then you are likely to notice a reinvigorated sex life. Once you re-establish a fun attitude, you will likely find that you are more confident with your communication and experimentation as well!
Paying for It
By Kendra Holliday | May 15, 2012 at 8:06 pm
Chester Brown's Paying for It
In our society, the world’s oldest occupation – prostitution – is still such a taboo subject.
I do it, I have friends who do it, but we can’t really speak of it freely.
You’ll notice when Rush Limbaugh called Sandra Fluke a slut and a whore, all of us sluts rose to her defense and proudly declared ourselves sluts. But the whores kept pretty quiet. No one was ready to own THAT word.
Pretty much everyone has an opinion about prostitution, which is fine, but personally I care more about the opinions of people who have firsthand experience, as seen in this comments thread on a blog post by Greta Christina.
Cartoonist Chester Brown is out about being a john. What’s more, he’s unapologetic and unashamed. Oftentimes, men who pay for sex are thought of as losers.
“I’m very far from being sad or lonely,” he says in his memoir, Paying for It
Not only does this book allow us to peek into the world of prostitution (set in Toronto, where prostitution is decriminalized), but it also delves deep into the concept of polyamory, monogamy, jealousy and romantic love.
Brown came to form a series of relationships with various prostitutes (or “escorts,” as some huffily insist on being called) due to finally deciding that boyfriend/girlfriend relationships bring too much unhealthy baggage to the table. Better to be friends with someone and skip all the drama brought on by the false ownership of romantic love. (See the book Sex at Dawn for the history of marriage being a possessive endeavor with unfortunate consequences.)
The book offers an appendix that intelligently and logically explores the most common arguments against prostitution.
I was surprised the book was small and hardback – I had a little trouble with the small print, but I have bad eyes. Once I finally got a chance to sit down and read it, I devoured it quickly. I prefer the comic-strip approach to short essays, as I’m getting so accustomed to the bite-size information age ala blog posts and iPhone screens.
I love the design. Robert Crumb writes a nice Foreword, noting Chester Brown’s always stoic, robotic facial expression. Not an erotic look. I pegged him for Asperger’s Syndrome myself. One thing I noticed in the clean, black-and-white illustrations is the lack of eyes in the characters. Most are shielded with glasses or speech bubbles. Brown gets very close and personal, but not so close that you can look into the souls of the people portrayed.
I could TOTALLY relate to some of the stories he shares – the good, the bad, and the ugly, though his experiences never get too ugly. Sometimes he was misled and the woman who greeted him at the door was not who he was expecting. Sometimes she was unprofessional, running late and ill-prepared (“I forgot the condoms! Be right back…”) But for the most part, his experiences are surprisingly pleasant. He notes, “Paying for sex isn’t an empty experience if you’re paying the right person for sex.”
In fact, the ending completely surprised me, which I won’t reveal here, should you want to find out for yourself (my copy of Paying for It will be donated to the Shameless Grounds library).
I hope you learn a lot reading this book about the men and women who participate in sex work, as well as the society we live in. This book reaffirmed some of my unconventional feminist beliefs and helped me understand where the men are coming from. I’m always wondering why I can’t seem to secure a regular relationship with men where we see each other once a month or so, like a scheduled massage. There are many factors that throw wrenches in the mix, such as the chaos of life, moods and whims, chemistry, the thrill of risk-taking, and novelty.
Our brains crave novelty, and some men find experiencing different women every month as natural as trying different restaurants. Certainly understandable – it’s not a cheap past time, and I’m glad for that. There is great value in this service, and it should be treated with compassion and respect.
Out About Being a Sex Worker
By Kendra Holliday | May 15, 2012 at 6:19 am
Workin' it! Photo by Connie LaFlam
I received an interesting letter the other day:
Dear Kendra,
I was reading an article on your website where you talked about what life was like for you when you lost your job and the whole legal issues with your marriage. I was going through the list of jobs you have done to pay your bills and one caught my attention: ‘sex work’.
What was your thought about being a sex worker before you actually found yourself in the profession and now that you’ve been through that what do you think of it?
Was it an easy transition for you to make?
I’m glad that you have a job now and can pay your bills and take care of other things but I was wondering if you could make more money being a sex worker, would you leave you current job?”
Such a good question!
Well, here’s the long and short of it: I have a full-time job that pays $15/hour. After taxes and benefits, that makes each paycheck about $900. My monthly expenses are about $2500.
That means I need a part-time job to supplement my income. It’s hard to swing that when you have a kid, as your schedule needs to remain flexible. I do some writing and consulting gigs, but to be honest with you, I couldn’t get by without a couple of intimate sessions a month.
In other words, I still do sex work.
I tell you what – I love having the best of both worlds – a steady paycheck, direct deposit, benefits – as well as an unconventional, sexy lifestyle. I personally wouldn’t want to do sex work, aka healing/whoring/helping more than a couple times a month. For one thing, it’s giving a lot of yourself – mentally and physically. For another, it’s unreliable, with a cancellation rate of about 50%. That sucks when you were hoping that money went to your kid’s camp bill, but it sucks WAY worse when you were counting on it for your mortgage payment.
Administrative headaches aside, once I get to the actual session part, I LOVE IT. I love assuming the goddess role and treating a man like a king, recharging his battery so he can go back out into the real world feeling relieved and ready to face the daily grind. I think it’s very similar to being a massage therapist. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have sex and intimacy whenever they like, so it’s nice they are able to find an outlet.
Should I be out about being a sex worker? I don’t know. It’s such a taboo topic in our society. Personally, I don’t believe I’m doing anything wrong, and am in fact helping people and offering a valuable service. There is most certainly a need for it, and not that many people who can do it in a safe, sane, and sensual manner. I am very discreet and professional. That it’s illegal is
RIDICULOUS.
I can’t stand when people get fired for doing sex work – it just forces them to do even more sex work. How does that help society?!
I have no idea how to advertise my services; Craigslist and Backpage were pains in the ass even before they succumbed to the pressure of society. There’s this Eros St. Louis page – hey I see some of my friends listed! I guess I rely on word-of-mouth.
My friend Lusty Chick is out about being a sex worker, she has a blog here.
I hope my personal experience and candidness will help destigmatize this topic. If you know me, then you know a whore. Whores can be great moms, good workers, and invaluable volunteers.
Are you out about being a sex worker? Or are you out about going to strip clubs or paying people for sex?
Moongasm on Monks Mound
By Kendra Holliday | May 11, 2012 at 5:31 am
Last Saturday was the night of the Super Moon, the one time of year when the full moon would be closest to Earth.
Full moon
We had spent the day hopping from friend to party to friend to parade, drinking and being merry – it was a full day. It was a LOT of day!
It was a great day.
After the craziness of the Cinco de Mayo festival on Cherokee Street, we chilled at our friend Shine’s house. It was a stark contrast to the packed street party that was jammed with people, bright lights, and HEAT – Shine’s house was cool, dim, and surrounded by resting plants. It was just the four of us.
Monks Mound - the largest human-made mound in the United States
She mentioned that the night before, she had been to Monks Mound to celebrate the moon. Monks Mound is in Cahokia Mounds, across the river in Collinsville, IL. Monks Mound is the largest human-made mound in the country. She spoke of how powerful it was to be so close to the moon, fog in the valleys, the energy of all the people who had once been there…. 20,000 people lived there, making it larger than London in 1250 AD.
After a raucous family dinner, we made our way over to Illinois. The surrounding area was a little eerie – rundown homes, race track, landfill, liquor stores, ghost towns – a lot of buried dreams.
It was dark. We parked near the mound. Technically the place was closed, but it felt like a free country and we meant no harm, so we ventured out into the moon-drenched surrounding meadowscape.
I was barefoot, wearing a soft, flowing moon dress. We held hands and walked toward the looming mound. No one was around.
Up the first level we went, then the second. Finally, we were at the top.The air was balmy and pitch perfect. The breeze caressed us as we surveyed the surrounding area. The horizon was occupied by twinkling lights of cities in the distance in the west, north and south, and rolling countryside flowing east. We counted 13 radio and cell phone towers blinking red. We saw a huge flame licking the sky, coming from an industrial plant.
But best of all was the moon above us. It bathed us in silver light, filling us with peaceful, surreal energy.
I lay on a flat wood bench, which easily transformed into a stone altar in my mind. He stripped off his shirt and surveyed the area, walking to each corner, overseeing all.
“You’re going to cause a Bigfoot sighting, you know,” teasing him over his hairy pelt and wild mane of hair.
We hung out for a while, soaking it in.
“I really want to have an orgasm up here,” I told him. It seemed so right – so close to nature and infused with feminine energy.
Of course, he was agreeable, so I gathered my dress up around my hips and pulled my gauzy panties to the side. Licking my fingers, I rubbed myself, and easily retreated into a safe space, energized by the moon, the breeze, the love.
It wasn’t long before he had me bent over the bench and we were fucking, his hard cock invading my soft, secret spot, trying to invade my womb, but he kept pausing to peer over the edge. He was on alert, but I felt like we were the only two people in the world, that all those lights in the distance were an illusion.
Left to my own devices with him standing guard, I brought myself to orgasm on the altar, and it seemed to last forever. I felt drawn up higher and higher to the moon, but my fantasies kept me grounded. I imagined I was right there, and it was beautiful, erotic. I tingled all over.
Not two minutes after I pulled my dress down and walked with him to the edge did two women appear on the steps. I was so surprised!
But he wasn’t. He had a feeling someone was near, and, like the moon, he protectively watched over me.
Yin and yang.
.
Lingerie from BodyKandi
By Kendra Holliday | May 9, 2012 at 11:46 am
I am such a MILF.
Here I am, modeling a seamless teddy-fishnet with detachable garters by BodyKandi. One size fits 80 – 160 lbs? I’m about 130 lbs right now.
It’s super comfy, stretchy soft fabric. I LOOOOVE fishnet!
One night I wore it without the garters:
Fishnet teddy by BodyKandi
Next, I accessorized with gloves and fishnet stockings (they were not included – got the gloves at Johnny Brocks and the stockings at Hustler):
Accessorizing with BodyKandi
I’m tempted to wear it as a swimsuit this summer! Except, um, this is how it looks from the back:
backview of fishnet teddy by BodyKandi
So cute!
Whee! BodyKandi!
Thank you BodyKandi for offering more than g-strings and skimpy elf costumes. You make this mature woman with modest curves look and feel great!
Episode 22: Can You Tell Me How to Get to Beaver Street?
By Kendra Holliday | May 7, 2012 at 9:57 pm
Robert Rosen, author of Beaver Street, shares personal stories about what the New York porn industry was like during the Reagan administration. He also talks about interesting fetishes!
Should We Warn Our Children About Middle School?
By Kendra Holliday | May 7, 2012 at 11:00 am
Welcome to middle school
What was middle school like for you?
For me, it was hell.
In 5th grade I was popular, the class clown. In 6th grade, I was one of the best artists in my class.
In 7th and 8th grade, I was stripped of all humanity and treated like a total piece of nerd shit. And that’s coming from a “straight” middle-class white girl in a great school district. I can’t imagine what it’s like for minorities even more minor than me.
I tried so hard to fit in. I felt bad for being smart. I lost my ability to draw. I cringed walking down the hall. I shrank in my seat every time someone hissed, “NERD” at me. I put on lots of makeup and tried shaping my bangs into a poofy satellite dish with hairspray like the popular girls did, but it always split and drooped, sodden with AquaNet. I tried shopping at the malls, but couldn’t afford $60 sweaters and jeans, so I would try to make do with bargain sweaters and jeans. But the bullies were able to sniff out the off-brands and somehow KNEW I wore that same sweater five days ago.
I felt doomed and alone. I clung to the other outcasts and nerds. Somehow, we survived.
The other day I posed a question on Twitter: “What was middle school like for you? Adjectives, please.”
The responses came pouring in, raw as hamburger:
Terrible, miserable, horrible, emotional, painful, depressing. I could go on all day.
Beyond fucked. Heartbreaking, lonely, isolating.
I dropped out of school in both middle school and Jr high because school was such hell for me.
God-forsaken, flaming, conspiratorial
It sucked! so did JH & HS. I felt like my only choices were to stay loaded or die. I was so desperately unhappy.
terrible, miserable, horrible, emotional, painful, depressing. I could go on all day.
I had a miserable time in middle school
Middle school should come with a mental health warning! It was so soul-destroying for me.
Middle school orientation pamphlets should say to kids “this is gonna suck, people are mean, but just make it through these two years”
I had a friend commit suicide in 8th grade. It was the worst pain ever.
heinous. Heinous. Heinous.
middle school is a circle of hell all by itself.
Yeah, me too.
So you can imagine my horror a couple months ago when I got a notice from my daughter’s school that there was a middle school orientation.
She’s in 5th grade now, and middle school would be comprised of 6-8th grade.
She’s a Magic Weirdo Child, a delightfully unusual and remarkable human being. I couldn’t bear thinking of her enduring the suffering I did. Mother guilt kicked in – I should have thought of this when I was trying to get pregnant! I felt helpless, not sure what to do. I wasn’t about to homeschool her or send her to a private school – she attends one of the best school districts in town. The SAME school district as me, as a matter of fact. More than half the students are affluent, but there is still plenty of diversity. Besides, I wondered if avoiding this adolescent hazing ritual was impossible, or even necessary.
I wonder: Is it better to be traumatized during middle school because it builds character, or should we not be subjected to the extreme torment?
I bit my tongue, and took her to the middle school orientation.
I was nervous walking up to my old school. It was completely different inside, but still as confusing to navigate as it was almost 30 years ago. They designed it with circular halls, which always reminded me of a space station where aliens performed cruel and unusual experiments on adolescents.
Puffed up parents and their puny, innocent children milled about, all pretending this was a super awesome event. I noticed a lot of fear grimaces:
Eek! I'm having a blast!
They sat us down in the lunchroom. I saw a couple other moms there who ostracized me when I came out in Oct 2010. I avoided them. I let my daughter run off to join some of her friends and sat awkwardly next to my ex-husband.
The principal and vice-principal spoke, as did the 6th grade counselor. They had a current 6th grade student read an essay to us about how awesome middle school was. I didn’t trust him – he looked too popular and sane.
One thing they kept mentioning in between the announcements about a campus police officer and courses of study was the Snack Bar. They were really excited about the Snack Bar. It was as if they were saying, “Hey when things get really unbearable, there’s always Twinkies and Little Debbies for your self-medicating sugar rush pleasure!”
Processed snack cakes = vodka shots for kids
I was glad to see the anti-bullying signs in the hallways had no blood smeared on them.
Do note that I kept all those toxic thoughts to myself. I didn’t want to rain on my daughter’s parade or poison the well. After we wandered around in circles and met some of the very nice teachers, we drove home. I was so glad to leave.
“So, what did you think?” I asked my daughter as casually as I could.
“I got the feeling they were hiding something,” she remarked, “But I think I can handle it.”
“Really? What do you mean?”
“They kept talking about the Snack Bar, and it made me suspicious. I thought they were trying to distract us.”
I made my decision. Taking a deep breath, I told her, “Here’s the deal. Middle school is not easy. It’s like a huge life test, kinda like Harry Potter in The Goblet of Fire, Book 4. The people who pass this test become stronger and learn a lot. No one told me this when I went to middle school, they only told me how fun it was. When I didn’t have so much fun, I thought there was something horribly wrong with me. Later, I learned how important this is for growth and development, just like rebelling against parents and working at fast food restaurants. You have to endure the not-so-good times in order to better experience the awesome times.”
We talked a little bit more, and it was all good.
Later, I asked her if she thought kids should be warned about things, or if it’s better for them to find out on their own.
“Oh it’s definitely better to be warned!” she exclaimed. “I feel bad for my other friends. I know their parents won’t clue them in.”
And who knows – I may have prepared her for something traumatic, and when it turns out not to be so bad, she’ll be even better off.
Update on No Shave May
By Kendra Holliday | May 6, 2012 at 11:34 am
I’ve been wearing a lot of sexy, slinky dresses lately sans stockings. I have to admit I felt nervous a couple times and wondered if anyone noticed my stubble. If they did, they didn’t mention it.
Here is my hairy leg, soaking in the tub:
Haven't shaved since late April
It also feels strange saving a few steps getting ready for a date or going out. I keep thinking I need to budget an extra 15 minutes for shaving in the shower, but nope, I get to skip it! One woman commented online that shaving was “classy.” I guess that means I’m being uncouth? Oh well, I never claimed to be a lady!
SIGH. I’ll never get this hairy!
This chest makes an excellent tuffet
This pic was taken on a lazy Sunday morning, lounging around in bed, feeling furry and loved….
