How to Activate a Woman

By Kendra Holliday | September 13, 2016

Getting there...

Getting there…

As a follow up to my post Can Creepy Men Be Cured?, I offer these quick thoughts on how to activate a woman, as opposed to repelling her.

Offer good male energy. Stand out among all the men who fall short.

Be a giver, not a taker.

Exude sexy confidence.

Be mature. Don’t be eager. RELAX. Keep your pants on for longer than she’s expecting.

Be grateful, but not groveling.

Show appreciation and respect. Cowboy Ethics.

Know how to be a gentleman. Know how to be a rogue. More importantly, know WHEN to be a gentleman, and WHEN to be a rogue.

Learn how to worship, as well as ravish.

If you watch Game of Thrones, you’ll get this joke I’ve seen online: “Ned Stark in the streets, Oberyn Martell in the sheets.”

Or, even better: “Podrick Payne in the streets, Podrick Payne in the sheets.” 😉

Strive to be a King, a Warrior, a Magician, and Lover, as opposed to a Tyrant, a Bully, a Fool, and a Loser. (A loser is someone who has lost something, such as their mojo.)

Don’t be entitled. Be genuine.


The other day, when I wrote someone to confirm our session, instead of responding with the usual grunt, “yeah I’ll be there”, he replied, “I cannot wait to see you today! Your beautiful mind, body, and energy will be on my mind until I get to see you!”

Upon reading that, I was immediately activated and turned on for our session.

I touch myself :)

I touch myself 🙂

Regard a woman as a whole, beautiful body. Many men just focus on the boob, boob, pussy. It’s better to play a woman as a musical instrument – revel in all her curves and nuances. Slowly run your hands all over her body. Extra credit for avoiding her erogenous zones until she pushes them into your hands!

And for godsake, lick/lube your fingers before you touch a woman’s pussy! I notice the best, most experienced lovers do this, whereas the less experienced men will jam their fingers in and bang away, hoping for the best.

I don’t know about other women, but I find I get wetter when I’m approached tenderly and completely. If not, you’re just creating disconnect and discomfort, shrouded in a cloud of sawdust. I never get wet when I’m fingered dry, just irritated. Better yet, lick that pussy! The juicier, the better!

There’s this saying that men are like microwaves and women are like slow cookers. There is also a 20-20 rule for women – that it takes 20 minutes of foreplay followed by 20 minutes of clitoral stimulation for the average woman.

I agree with the 20-20 rule for women well enough, but really, it’s all about comfort level – when women are in touch with their sexuality, they get DOWN with the best of ’em – they leave men in the dust! I’ve seen women pop off left and right at sex parties in less than 5 min, really hardcore and with wild abandon! During girl piles, and while riding the Sybian. They really felt safe and in control of the stimulation and got off on all the approving energy.

You would do well to facilitate that fountain of female energy, instead of stifling it.

Let her gush!

I always say, if women are happy in our society, then men and children will follow suit.



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