How to Receive Head: 3 Simple Suggestions

By Matthew | November 1, 2017

There are a great many resources on giving oral sex. From videos and articles, books and blog posts, one can find all kinds of information on how to give great blowjobs and eat some fierce pussy. But what about being skilled at receiving it?

Huh? Yes, you read that right.

Oral sex should satisfy both the giver and receiver at the same time, albeit not necessarily in the same way, but satisfying nonetheless. In order to make that happen, the receiver needs to be as active, at least mentally, as the giver. You have to find out what your partner likes. How? Here are some thoughts from my partner, Matthew…

You deserve oral worship.

1. Be Assertive

This is a big one. Don’t be afraid talk to your partner. This may take some getting used to for both of you. Some people find it embarrassing or “not right” to talk about sex openly, let alone talk while having it. Tell your partner what you like about what they are doing. Let them know they are making you feel good! “That feels amazing!” or “Yes!!  Right there!” are great places to start.

You can also fantasize with your partner through speech. If you know about a particular fantasy your partner has, or you have one of your own, try acting that out. Maybe she is your secretary or co-worker. Maybe he is that young stud you’ve been wanting to have your way with for a while. Roleplaying and fantasy are great ways to live out desires without the possible repercussions of actually doing them. The possibilities are endless, but you’ll never know any of them until you try.

Lastly, but certainly not in the least, if and when you have an orgasm, in the name of all that is good; vocalize it. “Yesssss!!!”  “I’m Cumming!!!” “Holy Fucking Shit!” or whatever comes out. (On the subject of whatever comes out: Men – do not surprise your partner with a mouthful of cum. You must let them know you are about to release so they can control where it goes. Unless of course you’ve talked about it and know what your partner prefers.)

2. Be Active

This can happen in numerous ways. Of course you shouldn’t immediately jam your dick down their throat or suffocate them with your grinding pussy. Start with a slight push toward them. Pay attention to their reaction or ask them if they like that. If they do, then you can push or grind a bit more. You’ll eventually find a comfortable amount for both of you. Keep in mind, everyone is different in their preferences. Some people like their face smothered or their mouth fucked hard and they get great pleasure from it.

Try touching their head, shoulder, cheeks, or hair in different ways. Remember always start lightly and move to more intense sensations. If you find your partner enjoys their hair gripped and head controlled, do it. If you find your partner likes his face ground into and thighs clinched around his cheeks, do it. It will make is more pleasurable for them.

3. Be Adaptive

Don’t get get stuck receiving oral in the same place, at the same time, in the same way, for the same reason. Try new positions like standing or lying on your side. Different environments can offer amazing amounts of excitement. Of course you need to be very mindful of some environments (i.e. elevators, cars, public bathrooms, dressing rooms, parking garages, wooded areas, etc.), but great pleasure can be realized from short sessions of oral sex. It doesn’t always have to be done to orgasmic completion. After all, foreplay and build up are great pleasure paths.

Certainly this list of thoughts and suggestions is just that. Everyone is different and derives pleasure in different ways. However, not many people want to feel like what they are doing is not appreciated. If you keep that in mind, you can come up with many more ways to make oral sex an even more amazing part of your life.

Now, go forth, and receive head.

What are your oral sex tips?



metricjulie 2011-11-07 08:27:30

I’m happy I read this. This has been on my mind for a while. Many men here just don’t think to go down, or they don’t want to, or they don’t care enough to. I’d say 80% of the men I’ve been with just won’t do it. They appear selfish, and the whole experience of sex is over when they’ve had their fun. I do it, and I do it with enthusiasm and I genuinely enjoy it… but it’s often not reciprocated. It’s hard to ask for it when you feel like the other person just doesn’t care. Any thoughts?


    fuzzilla 2011-11-07 22:06:37

    I used my communication skills from therapy to get great oral sex. Ages ago I told my FWB “I feel rejected when I don’t get a turn.” (You know, the ol’ “I feel…” instead of “you always…” approach). He said “let me make it up to you” and now he can’t get enough of it. Also I give him lots of compliments and screams and leave no doubt he’s doing a stellar job, which feeds his ego, I think. Win/win!


barryboi 2012-01-02 23:38:28

My favorite position to give a blowjob is the “oil driller” technique. I lay on my back with my head hanging off of a bed, couch, etc. and ask the guy to insert his cock deep into my throat. I have not yet had a guy that did not enjoy performing some hard-core deep throat on me.


AHubbyof2SexualMinds 2012-01-09 14:06:00

Excellent post, especially the second point about being active. Sometimes with my wife it’s like I don’t even know if she was participating, but after showing her this, she has made more of an effort to let me know her thoughts and feelings while I’m going down on her.


RawLion 2014-04-16 12:26:34

Yes Yes……Great pic 😉 I was so timid at the time……in my new body……
I have come light years with oral sex. My partner is so sweet and supportive of my need to have oral sex. I work on giving her as much as she needs as well. I am slowly getting used to getting great head. I still laugh sometimes right after I come. But its not due to awkwardness it is mainly because it BLOWS me away, the intensity of the experience. My past partner had trauma from oral sex, so we just didn’t do it. It slowly made me feel that she wasn’t 100% into me. so it started making my penis feel ashamed. Don’t be ashamed to truly FEEL your needs people. We don’t need to carry our needs with us until they turn into psychotic fetishes. just bust a nut!


    Kinky Cobra 2014-10-25 09:57:52

    Heavens, yes! Just bust a nut!


RipVanW 2014-10-20 15:48:14

As odd as this may sound, I am a guy who, for some reason, is not that fond of being on the receiving end of oral sex. Sure, it feels good, but I’ve only cum once (the first time ever), and for some reason it often ends in disappointment for my girlfriend, who really wants to give me pleasure. On the other hand, I happily and enthusiastically give her as much oral as she can possibly take, and she is quite happy about that. We switch up locations, angles, and I will take cues from her on whether she wants a long, slow, teasing session or if she wants to have a short but powerful licking. I hope that I can take some of your wisdom and work on being a productive “receiver” of the gift she so willingly gives me! Any suggestions?


    Kendra Holliday 2014-10-20 16:53:01

    You mean besides the ones we featured in this post?

    Don’t just lie there – be there with her and give pleasure feedback. Engage.


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