How to Write an Email to a Sex Goddess

By Kendra Holliday | December 5, 2012 at 6:23 am

Hello! Do I know you?

If you are writing an email to a woman you don’t know well (or at all) and you’re requesting to attend a clothing optional party, you should NOT do this:

Hey Doll! is there still room for this event??

Instead, you should do something like this:

Hello Kendra,

I wish and hope that the Holiday Season has been full of Joy and Happiness for you.

This is S, Sandy’s veterinarian friend, and previous attendee of previous CO Parties (including last year’s Fleshtivus, the Sock party, and others…). It has been a while since my schedule has allowed me to attend, and this month it finally matches up! I would be pleased if you would accept my reservation. I look forward to attending.

Thank you for your time,
S

I get a lot of random emails and find the one sentence requests presumptuous and cryptic. Just because you’ve read all about my butthole and threesomes and personal triumphs and tragedies doesn’t mean I know everything about you. Don’t make me search my inbox for history. Throw me a bone here! (not a cock shot) If we haven’t slept together, give me some background. And heck if we HAVE slept together, it’s still a good idea to offer me some clues. Thank you!

Sincerely,
Kendra

Comments

The Devil 2012-12-05 16:33:38

That really made me chuckle. :)

Signed,
The Devil that Left a Mark on You.

Reply

    Kendra Holliday 2012-12-05 17:12:17

Kendra Holliday 2012-12-05 17:11:57

Incidentally, these are actual emails I received within two hours of each other.

PS: I don’t like novella emails, either. Just a short paragraph or two will do.

PS2: I also like when people email me Amazon gift certificates.

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