By Kendra Holliday | November 15, 2013
I received an interesting letter the other day:
I was reading an article on your website where you talked about what life was like for you when you lost your job and the whole legal issues with your marriage. I was going through the list of jobs you have done to pay your bills and one caught my attention: ‘sex work’.
What were your thoughts about being a sex worker before you actually found yourself in the profession, and now that you’ve been through that what do you think of it?
Was it an easy transition for you to make?
I’m glad that you have a job now and can pay your bills and take care of other things but I was wondering if you could make more money being a sex worker, would you leave you current job?”
Such a good question!
Well, here’s the long and short of it: I have a full-time day job. After taxes and benefits, each paycheck is about $1000. My monthly expenses are about $3000.
That means I need a part-time job to supplement my income. It’s hard to swing that when you have a kid, as your schedule needs to remain flexible. I do some writing and consulting gigs, but to be honest with you, I couldn’t get by without a couple of intimate sessions a month.
In other words, I still do sex work.
I tell you what – I love having the best of both worlds – a steady paycheck, direct deposit, benefits – as well as an unconventional, sexy lifestyle. I personally wouldn’t want to do sex work, aka healing/whoring/helping more than a couple times a month. For one thing, it’s giving a lot of yourself – mentally and physically. For another, it’s unreliable, with a cancellation rate of about 50%. That sucks when you were hoping that money went to your kid’s camp bill, but it sucks WAY worse when you were counting on it for your mortgage payment.
Administrative headaches aside, once I get to the actual session part, I LOVE IT. I love assuming the goddess role and treating a man like a king, recharging his battery so he can go back out into the real world feeling relieved and ready to face the daily grind. I think it’s very similar to being a massage therapist. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have sex and intimacy whenever they like, so it’s nice they are able to find an outlet.
Should I be out about being a sex worker? I don’t know. It’s such a taboo topic in our society. Personally, I don’t believe I’m doing anything wrong, and am in fact helping people and offering a valuable service. There is most certainly a need for it, and not that many people who can do it in a safe, sane, and sensual manner. I am very discreet and professional. That it’s illegal is
I can’t stand when people get fired for doing sex work – it just forces them to do even more sex work. How does that help society?!
I have no idea how to advertise my services; Craigslist and Backpage were pains in the ass even before they succumbed to the pressure of society. There’s this Eros St. Louis page – hey I see some of my friends listed! I guess I rely on word-of-mouth.
My friend Erika is out about being a sex worker, she has a blog here.
I hope my personal experience and candidness will help destigmatize this topic. If you know me, then you know a whore. Whores can be great moms, good workers, and invaluable volunteers.
Are you out about being a sex worker? Or are you out about going to strip clubs or paying people for sex?
UPDATE: I quit my day job in May 2015 to devote myself full-time to my sex-positive activism – counseling, hosting events, projects, and more sex work! I like to say it’s what I do for a loving. 🙂