By Kendra Holliday | July 20, 2014 at 10:29 am
So this sex surrogate work I do is hugely important, and I really and truly love it.
When I am engaged with someone and riding the waves of passion, I feel it in my core – in my heart and in my cunt – even if I am only giving the pleasure. I feed off the energy, it’s circular and ALIVE. It’s simultaneously relaxing and energizing.
I am honored to share intimacy with good people. I love mentoring and teaching others about sexuality and themselves.
I spend time with SO many interesting folks. They’re so diverse, but they are all keenly interested in a common goal: healthy human connection.
From the Middle Eastern Muslim man whose arranged marriage failed, to the man with a serious muscle disease who was told he would die by the age of 20, to the Catholic man who puked the first time he had sex, to the 44-year-old man who hasn’t had sex yet, to the man who was molested by a family member and can’t orgasm when other people are present, to the Asperger’s man who is clueless about courtship and body language…the list goes on and on.
After a recent sweet cock worship session, a client reported back to me:
“I felt giddy and somewhat euphoric and more energetic than usual the rest of the day — almost to the point of downplaying it so that others wouldn’t notice anything different about me today. And it’s more than I can justify on the basis of a conscious memory of the fun I had. It’s more like I had to stop and think about why I was feeling this way. It’s almost like I’m feeling the effect of pheromones, or a spike in oxytocin from all the touching, or a spike in testosterone resulting from the whole thing — maybe arousal combined with touching — it’s like I’ve been mildly drugged, definitely enough to be noticeable.”
Look at all the articles and studies out there about how healing human touch is, not just for premature babies, but for humans of all ages.
We need to touch each other more often.
My friend has a cuddle club that meets once a week. They all get together and talk about science or watch a television show in a cuddly, consensual fashion.
There are many types of touch – healing, nurturing, soothing, caring, sensual, erotic, intense – do you know the difference?
The other day I was touching an inexperienced man with erotic intent – trailing my fingers gently all over his body, tuned into his male energy, slowly heading toward his erogenous zones. He was used to massage and other therapies, but this felt different to him. He said my caresses made him tingle all over and flush with pleasure. So nice that the feeling can linger, and carry over into other parts of our lives.
By Kendra Holliday | July 19, 2014 at 8:06 am
You’ve heard of staycations – how about fuckations?
This year, we’re really busy with work, kids, and saving up.
So we decided it would make perfect sense to carve out days dedicated to pure pleasure and reconnecting – time is so precious, and you can never get enough intimacy, right??
So this year, we’re going to Heaven!
My friend Shawn has a similar idea of celebrating sexy time. “My girlfriend and I have dubbed June 1st Sexmas, and May 31st Sexmas Eve.”
Our fuckation will involve just the two of us – no screens.
We’re having a hard time deciding on themes – we want it all!
By Kendra Holliday | July 15, 2014 at 6:36 am
My partner isn’t really into swinger parties, orgies, and nude gatherings. He’s not particularly interested in group sex or exhibitionism like I am.
So it’s REALLY nice of him to accompany me, and even help host, extraordinary parties of this nature. He doesn’t just lurk in the corner, either. He plays a key role in making sure all guests feel comfortable. He is especially sensitive to newbies. He’ll greet guests at the door, patrol the halls, check on drinks and the comfort of the female guests, direct traffic – whatever it takes.
A couple years ago, we hosted a small sex party in an upscale hotel suite featuring three men and three women. Two of the men and one of the women were new to the whole thing, and very nervous but eager to try it out. We brought our good friend Rockabilly Girl, who is seasoned and experienced.
We had a wonderful time! They got to try new and amazing things. I got to get my freak on!
Recently, my partner received a sweet email from one of the male guests I wanted to share with you:
“Hello! On Saturday, my wife and I saw a new work at Steppenwolf Theatre called The Qualms, about a couple that tiptoes into polyamory by joining a swinger club with mixed (and very funny) results.
The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire
By Kendra Holliday | July 13, 2014 at 7:15 am
The book King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine explores the archetypes of the mature masculine. Men who act out, have temper tantrums or are violent – jerks, bullies, know-it-alls and thugs – haven’t reached their full potential. The spoiled little princes of the world have work to do if they aspire to be superior men – if they want to be King.
So how do you become King? Here is the book that perfectly mirrors our relationship dynamic: The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. I underlined the shit out of this book. There’s no way I can feature all the awesome points, so please get a copy for yourself if you’re interested in tapping in to what makes our relationship so explosively orgasmic and fulfilling.
My partner Matthew hasn’t read the book, but that’s ok – he’s living it.
Here’s the premise. In order to have a passionate relationship with someone, you need to adopt a feminine and masculine contrast. It doesn’t matter who possesses the masculine or feminine – you can be a masculine female/feminine male couple, or a masculine female/feminine female couple, etc. The author maintains that 80% of people lean one way or the other – they either want to be ravished or do the ravishing.
For the most part, Matthew does the ravishing and I greatly enjoy it, I soak it up like a slutty sponge. But every once in a while, we’ll turn the tables and I’ll ravish HIM, which is just as fun and exciting. If neither of us assumed the ravishing mode, things would be more even keel. And boring.
That’s what happens in so many relationships – after the thrill of new relationship energy dies down, we get lazy and slip out of Lover role and become Managers, Caregivers, and Roommates. Then we take our partner for granted and lose respect for them and the sex turns lukewarm and resentment sets in.
So many men complain to me about how their wife doesn’t want to have sex with them, which makes him feel hurt and rejected. The reason the wife is cold to him is because she doesn’t respect him. The reason she doesn’t respect him is because he has let her down.
This is one of the books I recommend most. Click here to view my list of Top Sex-Positive Recommendations.
Bonus link: The Art of Manliness
By Kendra Holliday | July 12, 2014 at 9:46 am
Around the same time my daughter got her first period, I had my uterus removed.
So instead of passing the baton, I passed the tampon.
I’m SO glad I finally stopped bleeding all the time. I didn’t just have Shark Week – I had random shark moments.
By Kendra Holliday | July 8, 2014 at 8:53 am
The Top 5 reasons why people contact me are, in this order:
1. He’s a married man in his 50′s or 60′s whose wife is not interested in sex (mismatched libido)
2. He/she has some sort of sexual issue they want to work through
3. He/she is interested in branching out sexually, either because they are in transition, not getting laid, or curious about non-monogamy
4. He/she (mostly he) has a fetish and are ashamed/seeking an outlet
5. They want to meet me, and possibly rub me for good luck
My goal is to offer tools, connections, and options to people so that they can become happier and healthier. Sex is my specialty, which ties into work, family, personal – everything!
Here is a list of resources I most often recommend to my clients:
By Kendra Holliday | July 7, 2014 at 8:33 am
My 12-yr-old daughter is asexual. Sometimes I wonder if she will always be that way. (UPDATE: I first wrote this two years ago. She is now 14 years old and is still asexual.)
Not that it would be a bad thing, but it sure would be really fucking ironic.
Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to others or the lack of interest in sex.
I’ve been a horndog since I was about 9. She and I have had very different experiences growing up.
My mom tells me I used to play with myself as a baby. To my knowledge, my daughter has never experimented with that. (As an aside, my mom was 27 when she gave birth to me, and I was 27 when I gave birth to my daughter, so there’s always this eerie parallel running in my head – how DIFFERENT I am from my mom, who’s only had one sex partner her entire life and suffers from a host of mental illnesses.)
When I was 9, I was molested by an older adopted brother, which exposed me to sex early and manifested itself as a hypersexual mindset. I was drawing dirty pictures in 3rd grade, and writing erotica at age 12. I was making out with girls at 11 and boys at 13.
My daughter has never been molested. So far, the only bad things that have happened to her on that front is 1) one man on the internet sent her a cock shot, 2) one man flashed her while she was walking down the street, and 3) one man grabbed her butt in a public swimming pool. Each time, she was horrified and disgusted.
She does a lot of research online for her writing projects and is into anime and deviantART. This means she runs into adult content from time to time. As soon as she encounters it, she backs the hell up – she has absolutely no interest in it.
By Kendra Holliday | July 3, 2014 at 8:31 pm
“I would NOT want to deal with your inbox,” I’ve had more than one person tell me.
“I can’t imagine what kind of random messages you get!” I’ve had others say with slight envy.
Yep, they run the gamut, and they are sometimes annoying, sometimes heartbreaking, and ALWAYS interesting.
For instance, last week I had some guy ask me if he could buy my pubic hair for $20.
I’ve had men ask me if putting Ben Gay on their testicles will cause harm, if I will crush their balls, if I will meet with them and then cancel at the last minute or no-show (hence my reservation policy), if I will fly to Florida so they can shave my head again, if I will do a Skype call with them for advice and then demand I wear a skirt/no panties/blouse/no bra, ask me if they can send me a gift and then not do it (um, why?), if I will sell them my used panties, if I will be their pen pal, ask me for free advice and then not thank me… you get the idea. Lots of entitled time wasters out there.
The other gave me $10 via Square.
By Kendra Holliday | July 1, 2014 at 6:15 am
I wanted to ask your advice on how to convince my girlfriend to get more into oral sex. She learned in one of her nursing classes that cum is basically the same thing as snot, and ever since has been disgusted by it.
Getting her to do it now (and she’s really good at it!) takes an act of congress. She isn’t interested in spitting either, as she doesn’t even want the precum in her mouth. Giving and receiving oral is a very important part of intimacy to me.
First of all, I really wish people teaching nursing classes wouldn’t sabotage sex lives. A friend of mine who is in nursing school told me his instructor gravely informed the class that anal sex can rupture the rectum, and should never be attempted.
As far as your question goes, I have also noticed that semen has the consistency of snot and doesn’t taste like ambrosia. It contains protein, vitamin C, calcium, chlorine, cholesterol, citric acid, creatine, fructose, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, sodium, vitamin B12, and zinc. It’s about 20 calories a shot, which is usually 1/2 – 1 teaspoon. I honestly wished it tasted better for me, but I’ve happily come to terms with it, as have these 100 people who share their creative cum swallowing tips on this highly informative page.
I’ll never forget the woman a therapist told me about who would habitually lay a lace hanky down primly on her husband’s belly to “catch the mess.” She probably thought she was being accommodating to be down there, but it drove her husband nuts.
Then there was the time I was eager to eat my man’s cum out of Rockabilly Girl’s freshly fucked pussy, but as she swung her leg over my head, a glob of it nailed me in the eye dammit. Don’t you hate when that happens?
Have you ever been put off by semen in the past? What helped you get over it? I have a rule that I only swallow the ones I love, but for those of you who will swallow casually, what are your thoughts on it?
By Kendra Holliday | June 25, 2014 at 10:00 am
Liberator is a line of innovative sex furniture shapes and gear that protects your furniture. Out of all the options, I was most interested in the Liberator Wedge and Fascinator Throe for these reasons:
- A friend of mine swore by the Wedge for oral and intercourse. At a 27 degree incline, it puts the pussy on the perfect serving platter and allows easy access deep penetration for several positions. It makes sex easier for all parties involved. It even comes with a carrying case with handle for easy portability.
- I have a serious hangup when it comes to making a mess on the bed. This inhibits my ability to ejaculate, which puts a damper on things. We’ve tried using towels and an old baby crib liner decorated with pastel pink and yellow giraffes (NOT SEXY) but I was still holding back. I was eager to find a solution to this problem and Throe caution to the wind.
I’m happy to report that I can gush freely about both these products, and highly recommend adding them to your sexy arsenal.
Both came in sexy black velvet, which means we couldn’t use them at my house due to my light-haired cats, so we set up shop at his house. We showered together, I emptied my bladder, then we retired to the bedroom, where the Throe was laid out over the Wedge. The Throe covers a lot of real estate, measuring 60″ x 54″ – one side is velvety, while the other side is satin.