By Kendra Holliday | August 5, 2014 at 6:01 am
I’m FINALLY posting a follow up to this henna post a while back. My sister inspired me! (Scroll down to see what I mean!)
Here is some amazing henna artwork by Jeanjoel from a couple years ago. I love having milky pale skin and a blank canvas for artists to work on…
It’s so relaxing to lie there and be still, feeling the paintbrush tickle.
Don’t you love my little willow tree pubic hair in this shot?
By Kendra Holliday | August 3, 2014 at 8:34 pm
I had another wild-n-crazy roleplay date with my friends Capn Marrrk and Bianca. They always do such a good job of creating an elaborate scenario and are so clever with costumes and props! For example, there was the time we pretended to be two sisters disciplined by a military instructor…
This time, I was playing the prisoner, Bianca was playing “Mama” the police officer, and Capn was the mean Prison Warden.
They kicked it off with a letter that announced I was up for a parole hearing:
I showed up with my orange prison costume on hand so I could change when I got there. Truth be told, I had a terrible day and was stressed and overwhelmed. I didn’t feel like an elaborate roleplay scene. I felt like vegging on the couch and whining and being coddled.
But when I got there, I discovered they were already dressed up and in character! She was wearing a tight, sexy blue police uniform, and he was wearing a brown suit and police sunglasses. Both had their arms crossed and looked STERN. They meant business!
Right away they addressed me as Prisoner #23049 and escorted me upstairs to change. OK, here we go!
As soon as I was in my jumpsuit, they cuffed me and led me to the chair for interrogation.
The Warden asked me all kinds of probing questions and grilled me. He made me state why I should be allowed early release, my plans on the outside, etc.
He informed me that if I wanted to get out of prison, I had to do whatever they say, including being their sex slave! They both were very serious and weren’t going to let me off easy.
By Kendra Holliday | August 3, 2014 at 9:38 am
Everyone is bitching about how terrible 50 Shades of Grey is. I’m no exception.
Yes, it sucks.
So where can you find GOOD erotica – the kind that will jump start a million libidos and celebrate kinky creativity?
Writing is not easy, but based on all the incredibly shitty erotica out there, it must be especially hard to craft this genre. You have to use the right words and flow to elicit feelings of arousal, rather than cringing. It’s a delicate balance. Plus, it can be pretty subjective. Some people hate the word “cunt,” while others can’t stand the term “nether lips.”
I asked friends and readers for their recommendations, and came up with this extensive list of 30 Shades of Great! Thank you to everyone who contributed!
1. Sleeping Beauty Trilogy – this one was mentioned the most. You should probably check it out.
2.Literotica – Hit and miss, but LOTS to explore. My favorite category is Incest/Taboo.
4. Anais Nin – I remember being so shocked and turned on reading the scene where a group of men pin down a woman and let a big, shaggy dog lick her pussy. I also got really disturbed and turned on reading about the man who found a freshly drowned body and had his way with it.
5. The Story of O - female submission galore
7. Exit to Eden – more Anne Rice BDSM
8. Genesis Deflowered - the Bible is already salacious enough, but this author fleshes out some scenes…
9. My Secret Garden – published the year I was born! These fantasies are timeless…
10. Forbidden Flowers – encore to Secret Garden
11. Kushiel’s Legacy series by Jacqueline Carey – I’ve read this, it’s pretty good. Hell, you know it’s good when you remember certain scenes and incorporate them into your own fantasies – the one that stands out to me is when the slave girl is in the great hall and is presented to a Lord as a gift, and his Lady watches him take the slave girl on the table…
12. Whip Smart – memoir of a college student working as a dominatrix
By Kendra Holliday | August 2, 2014 at 7:24 am
Like true responsible hedonists, we planned our fuckation perfectly – his kids were out of town, my kid was with her dad, we requested time off work and didn’t schedule anything. We took care of our shit so we could have as much fun as we wanted, guilt-free and carefree!
Rare is the day where you can wake up and lounge, knowing you have ZERO obligations for the next 24 hours. You can do whatever you want, WHOever you want, and today I wanted to spend all day in bed with my man.
In preparation for our dream come true, we had a rollicking night out on the town, bar and museum hopping.
By Kendra Holliday | July 20, 2014 at 10:29 am
So this sex surrogate work I do is hugely important, and I really and truly love it.
When I am engaged with someone and riding the waves of passion, I feel it in my core – in my heart and in my cunt – even if I am only giving the pleasure. I feed off the energy, it’s circular and ALIVE. It’s simultaneously relaxing and energizing.
I am honored to share intimacy with good people. I love mentoring and teaching others about sexuality and themselves.
I spend time with SO many interesting folks. They’re so diverse, but they are all keenly interested in a common goal: healthy human connection.
From the Middle Eastern Muslim man whose arranged marriage failed, to the man with a serious muscle disease who was told he would die by the age of 20, to the Catholic man who puked the first time he had sex, to the 44-year-old man who hasn’t had sex yet, to the man who was molested by a family member and can’t orgasm when other people are present, to the Asperger’s man who is clueless about courtship and body language…the list goes on and on.
After a recent sweet cock worship session, a client reported back to me:
“I felt giddy and somewhat euphoric and more energetic than usual the rest of the day — almost to the point of downplaying it so that others wouldn’t notice anything different about me today. And it’s more than I can justify on the basis of a conscious memory of the fun I had. It’s more like I had to stop and think about why I was feeling this way. It’s almost like I’m feeling the effect of pheromones, or a spike in oxytocin from all the touching, or a spike in testosterone resulting from the whole thing — maybe arousal combined with touching — it’s like I’ve been mildly drugged, definitely enough to be noticeable.”
Look at all the articles and studies out there about how healing human touch is, not just for premature babies, but for humans of all ages.
We need to touch each other more often.
My friend has a cuddle club that meets once a week. They all get together and talk about science or watch a television show in a cuddly, consensual fashion.
There are many types of touch – healing, nurturing, soothing, caring, sensual, erotic, intense – do you know the difference?
The other day I was touching an inexperienced man with erotic intent – trailing my fingers gently all over his body, tuned into his male energy, slowly heading toward his erogenous zones. He was used to massage and other therapies, but this felt different to him. He said my caresses made him tingle all over and flush with pleasure. So nice that the feeling can linger, and carry over into other parts of our lives.
By Kendra Holliday | July 19, 2014 at 8:06 am
You’ve heard of staycations – how about fuckations?
This year, we’re really busy with work, kids, and saving up.
So we decided it would make perfect sense to carve out days dedicated to pure pleasure and reconnecting – time is so precious, and you can never get enough intimacy, right??
So this year, we’re going to Heaven!
My friend Shawn has a similar idea of celebrating sexy time. “My girlfriend and I have dubbed June 1st Sexmas, and May 31st Sexmas Eve.”
Our fuckation will involve just the two of us – no screens.
We’re having a hard time deciding on themes – we want it all!
By Kendra Holliday | July 15, 2014 at 6:36 am
My partner isn’t really into swinger parties, orgies, and nude gatherings. He’s not particularly interested in group sex or exhibitionism like I am.
So it’s REALLY nice of him to accompany me, and even help host, extraordinary parties of this nature. He doesn’t just lurk in the corner, either. He plays a key role in making sure all guests feel comfortable. He is especially sensitive to newbies. He’ll greet guests at the door, patrol the halls, check on drinks and the comfort of the female guests, direct traffic – whatever it takes.
A couple years ago, we hosted a small sex party in an upscale hotel suite featuring three men and three women. Two of the men and one of the women were new to the whole thing, and very nervous but eager to try it out. We brought our good friend Rockabilly Girl, who is seasoned and experienced.
We had a wonderful time! They got to try new and amazing things. I got to get my freak on!
Recently, my partner received a sweet email from one of the male guests I wanted to share with you:
“Hello! On Saturday, my wife and I saw a new work at Steppenwolf Theatre called The Qualms, about a couple that tiptoes into polyamory by joining a swinger club with mixed (and very funny) results.
The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire
By Kendra Holliday | July 13, 2014 at 7:15 am
The book King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine explores the archetypes of the mature masculine. Men who act out, have temper tantrums or are violent – jerks, bullies, know-it-alls and thugs – haven’t reached their full potential. The spoiled little princes of the world have work to do if they aspire to be superior men – if they want to be King.
So how do you become King? Here is the book that perfectly mirrors our relationship dynamic: The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. I underlined the shit out of this book. There’s no way I can feature all the awesome points, so please get a copy for yourself if you’re interested in tapping in to what makes our relationship so explosively orgasmic and fulfilling.
My partner Matthew hasn’t read the book, but that’s ok – he’s living it.
Here’s the premise. In order to have a passionate relationship with someone, you need to adopt a feminine and masculine contrast. It doesn’t matter who possesses the masculine or feminine – you can be a masculine female/feminine male couple, or a masculine female/feminine female couple, etc. The author maintains that 80% of people lean one way or the other – they either want to be ravished or do the ravishing.
For the most part, Matthew does the ravishing and I greatly enjoy it, I soak it up like a slutty sponge. But every once in a while, we’ll turn the tables and I’ll ravish HIM, which is just as fun and exciting. If neither of us assumed the ravishing mode, things would be more even keel. And boring.
That’s what happens in so many relationships – after the thrill of new relationship energy dies down, we get lazy and slip out of Lover role and become Managers, Caregivers, and Roommates. Then we take our partner for granted and lose respect for them and the sex turns lukewarm and resentment sets in.
So many men complain to me about how their wife doesn’t want to have sex with them, which makes him feel hurt and rejected. The reason the wife is cold to him is because she doesn’t respect him. The reason she doesn’t respect him is because he has let her down.
This is one of the books I recommend most. Click here to view my list of Top Sex-Positive Recommendations.
Bonus link: The Art of Manliness
By Kendra Holliday | July 12, 2014 at 9:46 am
Around the same time my daughter got her first period, I had my uterus removed.
So instead of passing the baton, I passed the tampon.
I’m SO glad I finally stopped bleeding all the time. I didn’t just have Shark Week – I had random shark moments.
By Kendra Holliday | July 8, 2014 at 8:53 am
The Top 5 reasons why people contact me are, in this order:
1. He’s a married man in his 50′s or 60′s whose wife is not interested in sex (mismatched libido)
2. He/she has some sort of sexual issue they want to work through
3. He/she is interested in branching out sexually, either because they are in transition, not getting laid, or curious about non-monogamy
4. He/she (mostly he) has a fetish and are ashamed/seeking an outlet
5. They want to meet me, and possibly rub me for good luck
My goal is to offer tools, connections, and options to people so that they can become happier and healthier. Sex is my specialty, which ties into work, family, personal – everything!
Here is a list of resources I most often recommend to my clients: