By Kendra Holliday | February 15, 2014
Last weekend, I packed naked clothes, slutty clothes, and funeral clothes in my suitcase.
That’s right – we faced America’s two most taboo topics up-close-and-personal – sex and death.
It was an intense emotional and physical whirlwind, full of unexpected thrills and chills.
First and foremost, I must get down on my knees and humbly thank my partner Matthew from the bottom of my bursting heart for all that he endured. Keep reading and you’ll see why.
I also want to thank all our friends who pitched in and helped us pull it off. We could not have done it without you.
We could not have done it without you.
I have no words. But I will do my best here.
It all started when I decided to host upscale swinger parties. I wanted to do it right, so I rented a luxury vacation home 45 minutes west of St. Louis. I charged admission to offset the costs, plus a good friend of mine sponsored and supported the endeavor. The play party was scheduled for Sat night.
We had the house for the entire weekend. We could have enjoyed it as a couple, or with select friends on Friday and all the time surrounding the party Sat night.
Instead, I asked Matthew if he would mind hosting a Sex Positive St. Louis fundraiser as well.
He said sure.
So now, instead of just hosting one big party, I was hosting two big parties back-to-back. Things were getting intense. I was fielding countless emails (“how much?” “what should I wear?” “I’m new and nervous!” “can I bring a date?” “can you help me find lodging?”), ordering food, shopping, signing rental contracts, visiting the location, coordinating details, worrying about parking, and pretty much freaking my shit.
Then, Matthew’s grandfather suddenly died in rural Illinois, which left him reeling.
Then, it snowed.
So much was at stake. We had people coming in from other states. We had a chunk of change on the line.
Of course, family came first, and if the funeral was going to be that weekend, we would go, and we would not cancel the party. Come hell or high water, we would find someone to host it for us.
Thankfully, the funeral was Sunday and Monday, which freed up Friday and Saturday to carry on with our plans.
But WOW we felt sacrilegious hosting naked parties and orgies with the funeral of a deeply respected man on the horizon. A total mindfuck, if you will.
Still, one thing he passed on to his grandson was Cowboy Ethics. You gotta follow through, and get the job done. Even if it’s wrangling a swinger party instead of a herd of cattle in a blizzard.
As Freddie Mercury said, The Show Must Go On.
Stunned with grief, we plowed forward. This is a view from the party house. It sits right on a lake on 50 acres, down a country lane. As you can see, the lake is breathtakingly beautiful and utterly frozen:
It’d be so great to rent the place during the summer! It has a pool, too!
Friday night was SEX+STL Queen of Hearts 2: My Naked Valentine. This is what my naked costume looked like:
Sorry it’s so cropped! Gotta respect privacy.. It’s an amazing shot – Mike Estes is an incredible photographer.
Friends lent us a stereo to use. Shawn Gaston DJ’ed. Emily brought delicious food catered by Shameless Grounds. A couple of her friends volunteered their burlesque talent. Johnny helped set up. We were so sad David Wraith was out of town and missed the party, but he was presenting at a sex-positive conference in Vancouver, where it was warmer!
And our people showed up for this unconventional social gathering! Even though it was snowy and icy, they made their way down the narrow, treacherous lane and danced and partied NAKED. It was SO MUCH FUN. The energy was great, everyone was so interesting and cleverly unattired. At first, the house was chilly – the furnace had a hard time keeping up with the bitter cold, but over the course of the evening, the combined body heat and Buck stove fireplace warmed the place up.
When it was time to leave, EVERYONE just pitched in and cleaned up all the empty bottles and trash. What would have taken me four hours took them ten minutes. I couldn’t believe it! We did it!
Then, everyone got stuck going up the hill, in the zero degree darkness. Matthew and a couple other guys spent more than three hours that night helping people park and pushing cars up the hill. At one point, he slipped on the ice and fell flat on his back – KAPOW. And here I was aching from wearing high heels all night long!
When the last guest left, we collapsed in bed and slept for a few hours. In the morning, he had to leave to work a job in the city. I had plans to lounge around the house in my jammies and read, maybe take a bubble bath and leisurely get ready for the next party, but that didn’t happen. Our friends staying nearby came to take me to breakfast, and then they got stuck on the hill! We paid extra for someone to come plow and salt the lane, but that wasn’t enough, so our friends ended up shoveling the drive for over an hour.
Before we knew it, the next party was upon us. This time, it was a play party, so thing were going to be much different. We had planned to participate, but the death in the family knocked the sex winds out of our sails, so we resigned ourselves to being gracious hosts and paving the way for others to have as much fun as possible.
Luckily this time, people didn’t have as much trouble parking and leaving, so our friends hard efforts paid off.
I wondered how things would transition from a social gathering to a sex freakfest – I don’t get into naughty games and icebreakers too much. I needn’t worry – this group was self-starting. After about an hour, some women started making out in the kitchen, and it went from there.
Sexy music pulsed. Soon, people wandered off to bedrooms in small groups, and dirty dancing commenced in the great room, then people started getting down all over the place! Everywhere you looked was an erotic feast for the eyes. There was crossdressing and roleplaying and BDSM scenes – one man was wearing red fishnets. Several women slinked around in lingerie and heels. One man had a woman in black latex on a leash. There were plenty of traditional swingers there, too, and everyone seemed carefree and comfortable.
Best of all, there were several folks new to parties like this. Beforehand, they asked me repeatedly if there was any obligation to play. I assured them they could enjoy the party on their own terms. When they showed up, they were visibly nervous. As in, shaking. By the end of the night, they were running through the house, naked and glowing!!!
I have to admit, the week leading up to the parties, I was cursing myself for committing to such a huge endeavor. But as I stood on the landing and surveyed the undulating landscape of flesh bent over the couch and writhing in front of the fireplace, I felt a glimmer of satisfaction.
Our friends were fucking on our behalf. There were girl piles and orgies and gang bangs and daisy chains and foursomes… every bedroom was occupied by a different fantasy. One couple enjoyed a bubble bath in the spa tub. One man ran out on the back porch naked and made a snow angel! Another couple was so breathtakingly beautiful and coupled in such acrobatic ways, it was like watching a pornographic Cirque de Soleil performance!
It was just what I dreamed it would be – like being in an amazing, dreamy erotic movie. Everyone was so beautiful and natural and sexy and ecstatic! All the women were so radiant, confident, and SEXUAL! They were insatiable, and the men did their best to keep up. The energy was amazing!
OH and I made a party faux pas – I promised that condoms and lubes would be on hand, but didn’t have them set out ahead of time, DOH! So my friend took it upon himself to flit through the house and play condom fairy – he tossed handfuls in every room like condomfetti!
Once everyone left, we collapsed again in the master bedroom. This time, in the dark, we sobbed and held each other for a long time. Then, we made love, and passed out.
Four hours later, we were up again, furiously cleaning the house so we could leave by 8am. A couple of our friends had spent the night in another bedroom, and they helped us go through the entire house and get it in order. There’s NO WAY we could have gotten out of there in time if it hadn’t been for their help. Again, no words.
We did find a couple souvenirs in one of the bedrooms:
Utterly exhausted, we busted a move and got out of there, efficiently trading revelry for solemnity. Picking the children up on the way out of town, we drove four hours to the funeral home. Mingling with four generations of family, all grieving in their own way, we celebrated this great mans’ full life. He survived so much in his 88 years. Stinking with fear in the WWII trenches, bucking broncos in the rodeo circuit, and wrangling cattle on horseback as a rancher, he was feisty and fiery til the very end, and loved by so many.
It was truly an unforgettable weekend, full of so many beautiful and intense people and moments.
The next party I have like this, no one better die. The weather better be good. And the friends and lovers better be the same!