Announcing Intimacy Week
This week's theme is something I've been exploring more in depth lately - intimacy.
Intimacy is a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.
Lance touched on something very intimate when he described one of the hottest moments of his life in his YATBK last week: "My girlfriend asked me to kiss her as deeply as possible while we were both coming at the same time. Doesn't sound that big a deal, but I don't recall ever having kissed someone or being kissed during an orgasm. Have you? Usually people rear back and shout. It was an incredible, mind blowing, deep connection."
Another thing you might want to try is eye contact during orgasm. I don't do it very often, as it's so intense, I feel like he's staring right into my soul when that happens.
There's an interesting point the site Make Love Not Porn makes: "In porn, it's all about the positions and fucking for the camera angle, which means that often the only bits of human bodies touching each other are the genitals. In the real world, one of the many great things about sex is the sheer pleasure of skin on skin. It feels great to fuck with your arms around each other and your bodies pressed right up against each other..."
L. Jade wrote an article for SexIs that clued me in to a book that shares some fascinating ideas. It’s called Intimate Behavior: A Zoologist's Classic Study of Human Intimacy
The 12 stages possess a lot of parallels with the intimacy an infant shares with his or her mother. I believe if you suffered a rocky childhood, it can interfere with your love life as an adult.
I’ve noticed that most of the men I’ve been with try to rush through the process, or try to get to the last few stages of intimacy as soon as possible, sometimes skipping steps entirely. Then they complain they have unfulfilling sex lives and don’t feel connected to their partner. But more on that later.
I'll be posting a book review of Intimate Behavior later this week, as well as an interview with the very loving, very legendary Annie Sprinkle. I'll also feature a guest post of a man's first experience with a Tantric Goddess.
Photo by Michael Draga
Friday, January 29, 2010
TheFWord's Little Shop of Smells
TheFWord's Little Shop of Smells
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Intimate Behavior
Intimate Behavior
17 Responses to "Announcing Intimacy Week"
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Buzzie
Soft passionate kisses with lips slightly open and tonques touching softly with long deep penetrations. Stopping only to nibble and earlobe or to run my fingers and fingernails gently up and down her legs as we share a part of ourselves.
isabella
deep wet kiss during orgasm...simply unforgettable....save it for someone you love...or realize love as you do it...
Kaia
I have a lot of fantasies. A lot. I want to role play as every type of dirty couple with my partner. I want to be bitten, strangled, and slapped. I love sex when it's rough and cruel. I have so many fetishes and long for so many different kinds of sex.
But intimate sex will always, always be my number one fantasy. I don't know of anything that could be so beautiful, fulfilling, or artistic.
Historygirl
I love the "make love not porn" site, not because I don't enjoy porn, or even better making pornographic images but because it tries to highlight that the images found in porn are only some of the possibilities within sexual relationships.
Intimacy is incredible. The first time I performed fellatio- that was intimacy- it was something I'd always avoided, never wanted, never felt comfortable enough with my partner. The first time and every one after with him, that for me is intimacy. Trust. Love.
RosieWoman
Yay for intimacy week! I agree that too often things are rushed. I liked the SexIs article's explanation of the 12 stages of intimacy. It makes me want to plan an evening of SLOW intimate love focusing on all the stages.
BTW - I really like the photo of you and Beast.
The Beautiful Kind
Thank you! I'm so much more photogenic when Beast is in the room...
I agree! I had the most amazing orgasm the other day from sllooow tongue stimulation on my clit, it took me by surprise! I'm going to try and reenact it this week so I can gain more experience and write about it! :)
Kev
I find it interesting that I "make love" more often with my girlfriend than I do my wife - not because of the level of intimacy, but the role sex plays in the relationships.
Kissing while orgasming is something that I am more likely to do with PennyKarma than SuperWife. Go figure.
The Beautiful Kind
I sure know how to fuck, but I keep learning how to "make love"... dreamy sigh...
isabella
fucking is easy and can even be self centered, making love requires a partner!
Historygirl
Perfectly put Isabella!!
Beast
Intimacy makes everything that much better.
isabella
amen, beast
DaddyFr0gg
It always amazes and saddens me when someone I'm with tells me they've never experienced some intimacy that I think is perfectly natural. Like kissing during orgasm or the simple act of eye contact. Truthfully, the fact that the topic warranted being a Topic bugs me. (It is a good one, though...)
I fairly recently had someone I care very deeply about tell me that they have never heard intimate words like I Love You during sex. (I've heard people complain that they ONLY hear such words during sex, but it was a first to hear someone say they NEVER hear such words during sex...)
Intimacy rocks!
curiously random
I've had very intimate sex before, but not for a very long time. The only "intimate" (and definitely non-sexual) relationship I've had for the past two years is with my kids, but they deserve it. They're awesome.
Oddly enough, these days I don't long for sex like I used to. I seriously long for intimacy, though. I miss being kissed, held, even smiled at.
Lance
So what activities are we doing during intimacy week? :)
What's your take on porn? You may have addressed this in past posts what was wondering. Porn for me has been very useful and very enlightening as a resource for having better, dirtier, more fulfilling sex. I'm coming from a place where my sex was really boring and my role was ill-defined and not very masculine. Porn helped me unlock that and create an identity during intercourse. Yes, porn can be totally over-the-top and unrealistic in terms of bodies, but if you can get past that I think it has it's place.
I think what is TOTALLY unrealistic is how sex is portrayed on television and regular cinema. Sex is a dirty dirty act, and I love it that way.
RosieWoman
Okay, I’ll bite. How can you say that the way sex is portrayed on television and regular cinema is unrealistic, and yet imply that porn is more realistic? Maybe I’m off-base, but it sounds like your take on porn and sex (being a “dirty, dirty act”) would be true if you were only focusing on sex just for the sake of pleasing yourself. For the romantic in me, I think mainstream media tends to portray sex (albeit a very vanilla form) with love, which is certainly realistic.
With intimacy week in mind, and admitting that I’m still admitting/embracing that I have an inner pervert (wink), my question is how does intimacy play into kink? Is it just in the form of trust with the partner?
Lance
Rosie, I think you answered your own question. But, sex is generally portrayed like giving birth in mainstream media. Completely clean, perfect, very little fuss. Real life sex has a lot of dirty talk, it's messy, there's often props involved, etc. That's a lot like porn. I'm not removing the intimacy component and I'm definitely not just about my own pleasure. That would be lame.
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