Kinky Stories & Relationship / Sex Advice

I know you put a lot of stock in Evolutionary Psychology and Biology, but at the end of the day it is pure educated speculation. As a Psychology major, I can offer an alternative explaination for why we get aroused by porn. Images of sex allow use to more easily access of sexual imagination via priming. When human are sexually aroused and/or masturbating the reward centers in the brain go crazy. Sex is a primary reinforcer. Humans enjoy being aroused and things, like porn or erotica,that make it easier for use are very appealing.

I also am skeptical to believe that the eye contact/nudity bit is not socialitally conditioned. In general in western society nudity = sexytime, however as someone who attends a very nudity friendly school, there is a lot of desexualized nudity and getting undressed(in a non-sexual context) in front of my male friends and classmates has never lead to undue or innappropriate attachment. As for the eye contact thing in our society women are not expected to be overtly assertive and such assertiveness generally is associated with sex, hence when women were aggressively friendly with men, the men took it as a sign of flirting.

After all this bashing of Evolutionary Psychology/Biology, I have to admit the subject is interesting, as long as everything is taken with a grain of salt. If you're looking for an interesting and well thought out book in the field read, Joan Roughgarden's Evolution's Rainbow. It's an interesting explaination of homosexuality from an Evolutionary perspective. The theory isn't without it's flaws, but it is very thought provoking.

That's amazing!
I love finding out the reasons why we are attracted to what we are, and do what we do.

I might actually have to pick this book up! Thanks!

I heart evo psych too, but sometimes I think the theories are pushing the boundaries of scientific reason (e.g., the big boob sagging hypothesis). When reading this stuff, it's important to keep in mind that these are THEORIES ONLY. They might make intuitive sense when they're presented in books like this one, but some of the off-beat ideas from evo psych are often not tested empirically, partially because they CANNOT be tested. There are some exceptions to that rule, and that is why evolutionary psych still stands as part of psych science.

Also, another important thing to keep in mind is that evo ideas are not an excuse for bad behavior. We may have evolved to be the way we are psychologically, but we are still thinking human beings with the capacity to overcome our evo inclinations.

Anyway, I still heart evolutionary theory, and I'm curious about the hot daughters idea - this is new stuff.

As a very long time fan and reader I must say that nothing in the blog and comments has ever stimulated my evolutionary pleasure center more than Busty Braniac. Her (Please let her be female) skeptical analysis and open minded reinterpretation of the evidence fires my libido more than any porn. I lustfully nominate her for YATBK.
I loved the way that yesterday's Bull Penis post opened a wormhole in the time/space continuum. It was wonderful being able to access the old posts of the past and read the comments written years apart. Kudos for making the older archives accessible.

I've been a nudist for a long time.. also a nude figure model. I also attend Burning Man type events where clothing optional is the norm. The nudity in the various groups varies. Its kind of amazing really .

THe nudists thing they own nude recreation quite often.. They try and declare "what is" and "what isn't" when it comes to be nude socially. THey're quite often right and wrong. They are not wrong about what they know, but don't know they're ignorant of others experiences.

The nude figure modeling is very cool and very respectful. THeirs is more functional.. excepted, esp when 5 minutes past the start-time of a sketching session. You're paid to be nude.

The Burning Man folks, in my opinion, have it right on. They are clothing optional. The nudists declare that c/o really doesn't work. I know that they have never been to a burn or around my friends. THis group can *all* be nude someties, or not at all. One night at a regular party, the day before my birthday.. someone delared at midnight. Hey, its Jeep's birthday, let's all get naked -- and they did. Every last one of them. Women and men.. some I hadn't ever seen nude. This was all started by a woman friend. 2-3 others showed up at the party and also got naked. It made me feel so included being the "naked dude" label I wear. One Halloween party I went to was "wear a costume or nothing at all". They wanted me to show JUST to be nude so they could show they were enforcing the rule. It was quite fun when someone would show up at the party and whisper "Oh, there *are* naked people here.."

My experience in each situation is different than say a woman. I have never been approached, at all.. as a male nude model. NOt all models are exhibitionists.. Many are and have open ideas about sexually, but we're seen as 'out there'. I think lack of respect is a trait that comes from that other person. We are always challenged, nude or not, to declare and enforce our boundaries in various manners.

I view nudity as a multi pronged tool. It can excite, titilate, throw people off guard, make them think you're a confident/strong personality, it can encite conversation.. it has applications in art, political (World Naked Bike Ride), social, settings. It can be used in many areas if you're comfortable with it. It is so simply yet so powerful. Conqueuring the nudity thing is like anything. Just do it. The water is fine and you have friends to help you along the way. If you WANT to do it, it *really* just takes doing it. I've seen it. :)

TBK, I would love to utlize our power to enable each other as we've talked about a bit in the past. (TBK and I met at a nude modeling gig) And to enable others. Other than what we've discussed in the past, what about a semi-public nude mobflash sometime?... :D

This is so neat! I haven't read any of Busty Braniac's early postings and now I want to look them all up! Evolutionary Psych is so neat, but I agree that it isn't as well tested as I'd like it to be. I like reading the different theories and discussing them. Thank you for posting all these neat books!

The point about Safeway employees having issues with customers (Safeway is a grocery chain in Canada, does it exist in the U.S.?) strikes a chord. I worked retail for most of university and there were customers who seemed to take my approach of walking up, smiling and looking them in the eyes while greeting them and trying to start the retail interview process as more than professional courtesty. Not ever male customer, there were some women as well, but it was pretty common and I'd find myself trying to disengage. I've found that in every customer service job I"ve been in and it does seem to be up to the service provider to set the boundaries with the customer using a combo of spoken and body language cues. Even then, there are just some individuals who misinterpret. Cultural context has a lot to do with it from my past experiences.

Dominick's in Chicago is owned by Safeway, if that counts for anything.

And so far for me, big boobs has led to titfucking, not to spreading my genetic line.

Heh, my Mom had five daughters.

Also I found an interesting local article about kink in politics:

http://www.chicagoreader.com/chicago/joe-laiacona-challenges-deb-mell-in...

eye contact can be extremely dangerous!!!!!

I adore evolutionary psychology. Steven Pinker is one of the hottest men alive!!

I love my intellectually stimulating Slut.

"(Safeway is a grocery chain in Canada, does it exist in the U.S.?)"

Safeway was founded in Los Angeles, California. I remember being asked if we had Safeway in the US when I lived in the UK. As a native Californian, I had to laugh.

The book you reviewed reminds me of the one I'm knee deep into now, The Red Queen: Sex and the evolution of human nature by Matt Ridley. He covers many of the same topics. Fascinating stuff.

Public nudity really is liberating. I hated my body growing up, figured I was as short, fat and dumpy as my sisters. I am not. It took being around other happy naked people to feel okay with myself. Thank goodness for clothing-optional hot springs! I remember sitting in a hot pool with eight other women of different ages and physical types. I'd never met any of them before, but they invited me into their conversation with smiles all around. We were happy and relaxed. It was wonderful.

My beautiful mother had two daughters. I also have one half sister, so you might say my dad was a pretty handsome guy too, since he fathered all of us.