By Kendra Holliday | June 26, 2016
I’ve come up with the following Sex Spectrum – do you agree with it? Where do you fall? Where do(es) your partner(s) fall?
Repressed – thinks sex is distasteful, doesn’t recognize any fetishes or fantasies, thinks genitals are ugly, doesn’t masturbate, is uncomfortable with erogenous zones, could easily do without intimacy or sex, is pretty much offended by everything
Vanilla – holding, cuddling, standard sex positions, passionate lovemaking, oral, watching porn, monogamy, mutual masturbation, traditional gender roles, basic sex toys, sex in the bedroom/kitchen/basement work bench/backyard/hotel
Kinky – anal play (male or female), bondage using silk ties and scarves, teacher/secretary/cop fantasy roleplaying, exploring bisexuality, watching hardcore porn, taking pics/filming, female ejaculation, threesomes/foursomes/orgies, advanced sex toys, cross dressing, pegging, sex in a restaurant/elevator/public place, exploring basic fetishes (foot, hair, latex, lingerie, etc.)
Perverted – face slapping, rape and incest fantasy roleplaying, gang bangs, bondage involving rope, facefucking, watersports, forced bi/cuckolding/chastity, humiliation and objectification, public sex (with an audience), fisting, double penetration, pegging, crazy sex toys (ball gags, big dongs, strapons), sex in church/graveyard, exploring more unusual fetishes (unwashed, period, amputees, etc.)
Fucked Up – edgeplay (bukkake, bloodplay, bladeplay, gunplay, breathplay, needleplay, electro, caging, necrophilia), gimp masks, body bags, CBT (cock n ball torture), masturbating in a bible, mutilation, sex in a morgue, sex with a real student/relative/prisoner, exploring extreme fetishes (shit, bestiality, vomit, pedophilia)
Does this look about right? For instance, do you think anal falls under Vanilla or Kinky? I first wrote this six years ago, and now that I’ve revisited it, I’ve moved a lot of activities up a notch. For instance, three years ago I considered gang bangs “Fucked Up.” Now, I view them as “Perverted.”
Also, I should state for the record that I don’t think any of these terms are derogative per se. It’s when you start harming yourself or others where I start to draw the line. And basically, the more taboo something is in our society, the more Perverted/Fucked Up it is. And the taboo twist is what makes it so hot! (For further reading, I suggest the book Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies.)
Personally, I consider myself mostly Kinky, moderately Perverted, with a dash of Fucked Up. And of course I LOVE me some Vanilla! How about you? I’d prefer if most people fell somewhere between Vanilla and Perverted.