The Things My Man Has Endured

By Kendra Holliday | January 2, 2013

Look how crazy I am ROWR!

In my post yesterday about my extraordinary relationship, I mused:

“I know some people say they married their best friend, and thank him for putting up with their mood swings or weird habits or whatever, but I’m pretty sure I take that to the next level, and I must say I’m very grateful I’ve found someone who accepts me for who I am…”

I started thinking about the crazy shit I’ve been through the past five years, and how amazing it is that my partner Matthew has tolerated so much of it. In the past I’ve had men balk at my high sex drive, desire for rough sex, or the fact that I like experiencing other people sexually (even though they also want that – go figure!)

I need to go to bed.

So, without further ado, here are some of the things he’s put up with the past five years, yet he still loves me more than ever:


– been bisexual and trysexual

– been homeless

– been sexually assaulted by someone from my past

done the sex work

– slept with dozens of interesting men and women

– acted like a dog bitch for money

– done a nude sploshing photoshoot with applesauce

– done loads of nude modeling

Pegging for dollars!

– dragged him to Spanksgiving, where I posed as a live dry erase board

– peed on a guy for money

– pooped in a guy’s hand for money

– engaged in cock-n-ball torture for money

– pegged a man for money

anally fisted a man for money

– been fisted by a friend

– humiliated various men for money

– asked him to humiliate me and kick my ass

– fucked men for sport

– sold my used panties

– puked on a guy for money

Hi, I’m bi!

– forced a man to drink a mugful of semen

– posted nude pics of myself and details of our sex life online

– traveled out of town to spend a weekend with a couple

– had a lesbian getaway

– been fired for having this sex blog

come out as a sex-positive activist, aka SLUT

Me with David Wraith, Johnny Murdoc, Anna Bent. Photo by Ariana Bauer.

– co-founded Sex Positive St. Louis

– been sued for my sexuality

– been accused of being an unfit mother due to my lifestyle choices

– been desperately poor and unemployed for months and months

– begged for financial support

– had multiple pathetic creepy stalkers

– pissed off all the sex predators in the local BDSM community

– made some enemies by being a strong, outspoken, opinionated woman

Bald and loving it! xoxo!

– stopped shaving my underarms

didn’t shave anything on my body for a month

shaved my head

spoken at IdeaCity to a conservative crowd of 700

– been in Hustler magazine

– almost lost my house

– had a nervous breakdown or two

– been suicidal

– been drunk and more drunk

– hosted crazy sex parties

– engaged in public sex acts

– had a hysterectomy

– done sex surrogacy work

Drinking the blood of Elvis

fucked and sucked his friends

fell on my face

– realized weird new fetishes

When seeing these life events from the past five years all at once, I have to admit it looks pretty nuts. But then again, SO many people experience these things, and aren’t able to openly admit to it! I have to admit, Matthew helps keep me sane. Time and again, he has proven to me how strong he is.

On the other side of the coin, my man has not had to endure:

– lies

– secrets

– boredom

I love weird naked parties like this!

– being duped or played the fool

– being taken for granted

– disrespect

– a mediocre life

– being pussy whipped

He’s been able to explore other women, have as much sex as he wants ((oral – anal – frequent – variety – roleplay – fantasies – kinky – BDSM)), have his own space, experience orgies and threesomes and fantasies and worship. He’s been free to self-actualize and be the man he wants to be, not what society or religion dictates for him.

This year, I have NEW ideas. Outrageous ideas. And, oh joy! My man is supporting them.

Stay tuned!

I’m not kidding.


Bianca 2013-01-02 07:13:45

You sure have been through a lot girl. And look where you are now… doing really well, with a job, healthy, with your daughter and surrounded by people who love you. Congratulations on being a strong and awesome human being. I love you.


71hands 2013-01-06 13:18:56

Wow you to have been through alot. I am very new to the whole St Louis bdsm community but would love to contribute in any way possible.


Tim 2013-01-28 19:19:41

I hope we can all be as lucky as you to find someone who accepts us for who we are.


    Kendra Holliday 2013-01-28 19:24:29

    THAT is my goal!


Mandy 2013-03-31 21:31:15

Haha.. When I say accept me as I am, I really mean it, too. He gets the whole package,as I come- and has supported me through some spectacular fuck ups.
He wouldn’t be the man for me if I was a slut, though.. But that’s ok, coz I’m not. I’m thrilled for you that your man accepts you being a slut. Life’s not a read through, if people want that, they should go for it, and you have. Awesome 🙂


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