The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire
By Kendra Holliday | July 13, 2014
The book King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine explores the archetypes of the mature masculine. Men who act out, have temper tantrums or are violent – jerks, bullies, know-it-alls and thugs – haven’t reached their full potential.
Men aren’t allowed to fully mature in our society. There is no rite of passage. The spoiled little princes of the world have work to do if they aspire to be superior men – if they want to be King.
So how do you become King? Here is the book that perfectly mirrors our relationship dynamic: The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. I underlined the shit out of this book. There’s no way I can feature all the awesome points, so please get a copy for yourself if you’re interested in tapping in to what makes our relationship so explosively orgasmic and fulfilling.
My partner Matthew hasn’t read the book, but that’s ok – he’s living it.
Here’s the premise. In order to have a passionate relationship with someone, you need to adopt a feminine and masculine contrast. It doesn’t matter who possesses the masculine or feminine – you can be a masculine female/feminine male couple, or a masculine female/feminine female couple, etc. The author maintains that 80% of people lean one way or the other – they either want to be ravished or do the ravishing.
For the most part, Matthew does the ravishing and I greatly enjoy it, I soak it up like a slutty sponge. But every once in a while, we’ll turn the tables and I’ll ravish HIM, which is just as fun and exciting. If neither of us assumed the ravishing mode, things would be more even keel. And boring.
That’s what happens in so many relationships – after the thrill of new relationship energy dies down, we get lazy and slip out of Lover role and become Managers, Caregivers, and Roommates. Then we take our partner for granted and lose respect for them and the sex turns lukewarm and resentment sets in.
So many men complain to me about how their wife doesn’t want to have sex with them, which makes him feel hurt and rejected. The reason the wife is cold to him is because she doesn’t respect him. The reason she doesn’t respect him is because he has let her down.
David acknowledges that most men want to have sex with other women, even if they are in a sexually fulfilling relationship. He advises, “If you want to be with other women, make sure you are taking care of the woman you have.”
Check his stuff out on YouTube – here is an example:
This is one of the books I recommend most. Click here to view my list of Top Sex-Positive Recommendations.
Bonus link: The Art of Manliness