Um, Patriarchy? We Have a Problem

By Kendra Holliday | April 26, 2017

Heads up:

We are living in a society that’s being run by immature men.

We are regressing as a country.

We need to cultivate MATURE masculinity.

Zeus. God. Warrior. King.

Patriarchy is the fear of the feminine AND the mature masculine.

Feminism promotes the concept that women are equal to men, that women should not be held to a different (sub)standard. Most people think in terms of pay and ability, but feminism also encompasses human sexuality. See this article about how women want sex as much as men do, and how that dynamic flipped in our culture.

No wonder I have so many men coming to me begging for submissive experiences with a strong woman! Shit is SO out of whack, they need to go out of their way to carve out safe spaces for surrender and the worship of the sacred feminine.

This article by Doctor Nerdlove also addresses the problem of desire and gender disparity in our society and how it hurts ALL OF US. (He has more than 1000 articles on dating and relationships, by the way!)

Judy Singer, an Australian sociologist, was at a workshop that proposed the following exercise: Come up with a better set of Ten Commandments than God.

Her first one was, “Honor diversity.”

What would yours be?

I strongly recommend you read this essay on nudity and society if you ever feel powerless or overwhelmed at the site of a scantily clad woman.

An excerpt:

After encountering an attractive woman who greeted us at the door wearing little more than a half-open robe, I waited until we were well down the road before letting loose a tirade of anger and frustration. I told my companion that it really bothered me seeing so many women in various states of undress. It was hard to focus and I felt weak and powerless around them. How were we to be strong and stay faithful? I had prayed and fasted about it constantly, and felt little strength in return. And I began to despise many of the women I encountered for “making” me feel that way. I then turned my frustration on him, wondering how he could possibly be so calm and seemingly indifferent to it all. Was he just pretending? Maybe he was on the edge of sanity, barely holding it together, putting up a brave though false front.

It’s cultural, and it’s harmful.

Men in our society are not allowed to fully mature and express their emotions. They view strength as aggression, which is counterintuitive to achieving great things.

And if you aren’t aggressive, you’re a “nice guy,” and you get walked all over.

Do you know the difference between a nice guy and a good man? Read this article and think about men you know, and how they compare.

This video by Max Berger covers authenticity and attractiveness.

In order to become a mature man, you have to kill the boy, endure growing pains, get outside your comfort zone, embrace a rite of passage. Too often in our society men are coddled and not allowed to fully mature. They remain spoiled princes instead of Kings, bullies instead of Warriors. See The Art of Manliness series on Male Archetypes.

What are some resources for cultivating mature masculinity?

ManKind Project?

Books? Mentors? Therapy?

We’re living in a state of fear, self-imposed cages, impatience and immaturity.

We need to break past knee jerk reactions, take time to reflect, have patience with ourselves and others, and grow UP.

Burying yourself is for when you are dead – don’t bury yourself when you are still alive.


Ashly 2017-04-27 04:56:01

What a fantastic bit of writing and sadly true. The putting down and being scared of women stems from religion. In a lot of things women are stronger and better than us men. I have always fought for women’s rights. And should be respect as an equal


Steph 2017-04-30 03:34:14

Because of posts like these, I wish you had more time so you could post daily.

And I love the proposed exercise – come up with a better 10 Commandments.

Honor Diversity is excellent.

I have to comp the UU’s and say #1 has to be “Love One Another.”


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