By Kendra Holliday | March 18, 2016
My organization Sex Positive St. Louis offers some amazing events for our local community – not only do we host happy hours, discussions, pussy parties, and clothing optional parties, but we also present demos from time to time. Previous demos include blowjob, cunnilingus, female ejaculation, and fisting.
Well the other day, I met a man who loves sounding. Urethral sounding is the practice of inserting rods into the urethra (pee hole) in order to increase the inner diameter. Say what?! Believe it or not, this unusual activity can elicit very sexy sensations for some people!
You can read a good essay about it at Nerve.com – Sensible Sounding: Why I Inserted a Metal Rod into My Penis on Purpose.
He joked to me, “You should do a demo on this.”
I shot back, “That’s a GREAT idea! Will you do it?!”
He was surprised. “What? Really? Who would be interested in that?”
“Are you kidding? This is FASCINATING! Every time I mention it to someone, they either cringe like crazy or ask tons of questions!”
YES I talked him into it!
About 20 interested people attended the demo – men, women, couples, black, white, younger, older. We were fascinated and full of questions! How does it work? Why do it? What kind of man would do such a thing? Does it feel good? How far do they go in? Is it safe? What tools should you use?
Our demo guy was 28-year-old Marty. He reminded me of a young Jack Nicholson, complete with messy hair and a mischievous grin. He had a strong, muscular body dusted with body hair and decorated with a few tattoos. He had some scrapes on his legs and a bandage wrapped around one of his hands. When asked how he got banged up, he told us he skateboards.
Before he got started, we all sat around in a circle and introduced ourselves and shared why we were there. A couple of the men had sounding experience, but most were curious about it; they didn’t explore it due to safety concerns.
The women were also very curious, but there was one female nurse there who found it to be a huge turn on!
Marty showed us a drawing of the anatomy of a man’s pelvic area. He pointed to the prostate and explained that he likes stimulating it through his peehole, which is an alternative to getting to it through assplay. I always thought the prostate sat right under the urethra, but as you can see from this drawing, the urethra passes right through the prostate. Marty also pointed out the urethra. “Not a lot of people know this, but the urethra is wider in the head of the penis, and narrows as you go deeper down. This is good to know for sounding!”
He’s been experimenting with sounding ever since he was nine years old, before he even knew he was kinky! In other words, it occurred naturally to him, and not because he saw it in a porn. And he’s never had an injury or infection. He used to use Sharpie markers and other odd implements! But now he has a good sounding kit from The Chain Gang. You want to be sure your rods are completely smooth, without any etching or scratches. Not only does Marty have years of experience, but he also has a medical background.
He explained that he does sounding play about every third or so time he masturbates. He always sterilizes his sounding rods in between sessions.
He likes doing it because it feels really sexy and good. He loooves the sensation of his urethra being stretched, penetrated, and beyond…
Normally, he doesn’t even need to use lube – he creates copious amounts of prostatic fluid. First, he introduces the thinner rod to warm up. He gently inserts it, and it kindof plops right in. As he gets more aroused, he switches to the thicker rod. He’ll move the rod up and down, plumbing the depths of his plumbing. The rod can completely disappear from view! It can reach the bladder. When the prostate is sufficiently stimulated, he has an explosive orgasm, then he removes the rod and the ejaculate shoots out.
He normally does it in the privacy of his own home, and not in front of a live audience. I asked him, “So are you an exhibitionist?” He replied yes, and I said, “Oh good!”
He removed all his clothes and situated himself on a reclining bed made up of yoga mats, pillows, and towels. In case he didn’t get sufficiently aroused, he brought along some Gun Oil lube. He showed us his kit, which had about eight rods, from thin to ridiculous thick sizes!
He walked us through the process I explained above, but didn’t get turned on enough to have an orgasm. He got about half hard. We were amazed to watch him deftly demonstrate – I think I had the most astonished facial expression! It reminded me of the time I watched a circus lady swallow spikes.
I thought his peehole would be all stretched out from years of play, but his cock looked completely normal! Just like the assholes of people who do assplay a lot – they look normal. Our bodies are incredibly resilient – I still can’t believe I had a baby in my vagina!
He answered a few more of our questions and talked about some of the myths surrounding sounding. He said there is a government study report stating that recreational sounding is associated with higher risk activities.
I pointed out, “Well, you do skateboard…”
Marty shared these thoughts with me prior to the demo:
It’s good I’m doing this because there are some very big misconceptions about this practice even in the medical and peer reviewed science literature . Maybe I’m just an outlier of outliers , but for me even though I do identify as bisexual, I’m not really all that sexually active.
I’ve been more ashamed to admit I do this to anyone. I would like to find a healthy balance with it in the context of a relationship someday, whether that’s with a women, a man, or a transgender person, polyamory, I don’t really care .
The article does have some encouraging news, at least for me. It’s not connected to mental health , nor is there any higher prevalence of erectile dysfunction. It does say that people who do this are more likely to get an STI and be risky in their sexual behavior, which I haven’t been thus far .
I think even the researchers who study this form or sexual expression have it wrong . Some people who are born with this predisposition are not able to understand/are too immature to know how to go about it in a safe open minded way . If I hadn’t bought sounding tools , I’d probably still be using pens , markers , or what ever .
This is where the close mindedness hurts people . My public school instruction on sexual education was basically, “don’t have sex till you’re married and if you get urges so strong you cannot control them just masturbate and you’ll be fine, God will forgive you for masturbating. I’m over here like, I put markers in my dick, what am I supposed to do with that? I had to figure all this out on my own.
Of course, sounding can be incorporated into solo play, couple play, or even group play. One of the women there told us about a traumatic incident she witnessed at a BDSM club – they tied a struggling man down and harshly jammed rods down his shaft. She doesn’t know if it was a negotiated scene, but it certainly didn’t appear to be sex-positive!
So she was glad to come to our cheerful little event and reclaim the unusual practice in a positive context.
The grateful group gave Marty an accepting round of applause! When he asked if any of the men would be curious to try it out some time, most of them raised their hand!
Another successful event! Thank you, Marty!