Ways I Get High

By Kendra Holliday | April 19, 2019

Oh, the shame! 🙂

Sometimes we should ask ourselves, “Is the choice I’m about to make going to make my situation better, or worse?” 🧐

The other day, I heard in a lecture I attended that 25% of the US population has drug addiction issues.

Does that surprise you, or not?

If what humans need is movement, freedom, connection with others and sharing resources in order to thrive, then no wonder so many of us are suffering. We’re stuck, isolated, and taught to be territorial/fearful.

As someone who has alcohol addiction, I am part of that 25%. My mom, who is a prescription drug addict, is as well.

Think about the people you know. How many of them use drugs? How many of them abuse drugs? Everything you ingest is a chemical, and can affect your brain and body.

Here is a list of ways I get high, now that I can’t drink alcohol anymore. (I do not think I have a personality that is prone to addiction, as alcohol is the only drug I’ve ever abused.)

Almost all of the ways I get high are legal where I live!

 

Drinking the blood of Elvis

Alcohol – I went from social drinking to stress drinking daily. I was bloated, sick and miserable. My recovery journey has included tons of research; my favorite program is This Naked Mind, by Annie Grace.

Caffeine – I drink one coffee every morning, and tea throughout the day. Sometimes I’ll drink a soda. I’ve become an aficionado when it comes to healthy and creative drinks.

Sugar – Does sugar count as a drug? This week, I ate a pound of chocolate covered strawberries… I’m not sure if it made me high, but it sure was addictive. I want more!

Cannabis – I sometimes take one dose of an edible a day, when I want to relax or zone out.

Kratom – This is another stimulant, and different strains claim to offer effects such as euphoria, pain relief, and focus. I only take a small dose of this every couple weeks or so, because I know it can be bad on the liver and I know at least three people who are dependent on it and take it daily. It’s a dried leaf powder and tastes like strong grass.

Kava – This is another powder from a plant, and is grey and tastes earthy and numbs your mouth. It has calming properties, and is often taken for anxiety and insomnia. It’s also bad for the liver, so I only take it once a month. You can get varieties that are good for daytime, afternoon, and evening use.

Poppers – This comes in a small bottle and you sniff it for a quick, 30 second high. It feels like you’re floating and relaxes your smooth muscles, so people often use it during sex as an enhancement. I’ve used it a few times. My doctor friend told me it’s not harmful in moderation.

MDMA – I’ve done this four times, and I LOOOOOVE IT. I would do it four times a year if I had access to it. A friend gave me some. I like to dedicate an afternoon/evening with my partner.

Psilocybin mushrooms – I’ve done this two or three times, and love it! Would do it again.

LDS/Acid – I did this once a long time ago and liked it a lot. I would do it again if I had access to a safe source.

Photo by Mike Estes

Spanking – This has helped me many times. I’ll be in a dark place in my head, and it helps me find relief. I get distracted by the pain, and afterward feel so floaty and high from the endorphins it creates.

Needle play – I don’t do this very often, but enjoy it when I get a chance. Inserting needles in the skin hurts, but when they’re removed, I feel such a rush!

Solo sex/breath energy orgasm – I bought this 30 minute guided meditation for myself, and it’s the gift that keeps on giving! I can use it anytime I want to treat myself to an amazing self-love experience. Each time is different, and I’m usually moved to tears. David Wraith does this as well. You can do it solo, or with others.

Orgasm – I get off two or three times a day, so easy and free!

Sex with partner(s) – No brainer, and the more connected I am to the person, the better!

Intimate touch – Whether it be massage or cuddling, skinship is critical for our health and well-being. Physical touch is one of my Love Languages!

My brother from another mother, David Wraith. Photo by Ariana Bauer

Nudism – As an exhibitionist, I feel totally exhilarated when I’m naked or putting on a show in front of other people. I am happiest when I am naked! As long as I’m not cold.

Here are drugs I have not tried:

Ayahuasca – I would try this, in a safe setting.

Nicotine – I have no idea what this drug does or why so many people are hardcore addicted to it.

Cocaine – I’ve only seen this once, and have no interest in trying it.

Crack – No idea/no interest. Is it the same thing as cocaine?

Meth – I have no idea what this is. No interest in trying it.

Heroin – I’m intrigued, but have no idea what it is, would never try it.

Prescription drugs – I’ve tried a few, but have never understood why my mom loves pills so much.

Opioids – Are these prescription drugs like Vicodin and Oxy? I’m all for pain relief, but no thanks.

Morphine – I had this once in the hospital after my hysterectomy, and it was SOOOOO good. Very floaty and soothing, like being in a womb.

Here are natural ways to get high that I don’t do:

Dancing – Most of the world uses dance/music/movement for connecting with others and dealing with trauma.

Running/Working out – I just walk 10,000 steps a day, I’m not into this kind of high, but greatly admire those who can tap into it.

Risk taking activities – Skydiving, rock climbing, mountain biking, shooting a gun – no thanks!

Yoga – Can yoga get you high? I’ve only tried it a few times, but a lot of my friends swear by it.

Anyway, I’m feeling a lot better these days, and I am SO grateful!

https://twitter.com/TBK365/status/1117039448225611777?s=20

Comments

John 2019-04-19 13:35:08

Are you currently an alchohol addict?

Reply

    Kendra Holliday 2019-04-19 13:48:13

      John 2019-04-19 15:17:30

      You don’t need alcohol or drugs to be happy. God is the only substance you need. Turn to him.

      Reply

        Stephen 2019-04-22 04:08:13

        HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAH.

        Oh. Sorry. Was that rude?

        I attempted suicide several years ago. I took a bunch of morphine. I freaked as soon as I swallowed all the pills.

        As I was in triage at my local ER, the triage nurse said to me “You know what can help?”

        “What, oh nurse of science, oh purveyor of medicine, oh you student of psychology, what?”

        “Jesus. Jesus in your heart.”

        I had just taken 150mg of morphine and a bunch of hydrocodone. I was filled with shame. And this bitch is suggesting Jesus. It took everything I had not to punch her and say “Go fuck yourself.”

        “The only substance you need is God?”

        How well intentioned. And yet how insensitive, binary, and eminently rude as fuck.

        To take the profound complexities of life’s experiences, the combined power of physical and psychological addiction, to attempt to overcome Kendra’s public admissions of abuse, darkness, victimization, etc, and to condense it down to the one word “God” is so banal, intrusive, and absolute I can only respond in kind by saying “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAH!”

        Buffoonery.

        Reply

          Kendra Holliday 2019-04-22 05:44:00

          Thank you, Stephan. I don’t know why John keeps coming back to my blog and commenting.
          I’m sorry for your horrible experience. I’ve been down the suicide/hospital path before many years ago, and they made sure to be mean to me as they shoved a tube down my nose to administer charcoal detox. Never want to experience that again!

          John 2019-04-23 02:52:13

          I did not say anything about Jesus, sweetie. Forget about religions. I have studied Christianity and got disappointed too.
          I have gone through a lot in my life, such as depression, obsessive compulsive disorder and suicidal tendencies. Nobody could help me, and definitely not psychiatrists. In the end, God saved me.
          How exactly I discovered God (the true God, not the fake gods religions talk about) and what he revealed to me is too long a story to be told in a reply post. I offered to tell that story to Kendra when she said she faces depression, but she was not interested.
          Anyway, the first thing you need to realize is that, if your primary goal is to get the best out of this life, you will always end up depressed and disappointed. God did not send us to this temporary world to have fun. He sent us here to train us. Difficulties are part of our training. When you have realized your destination is another, eternal world, you will be really free.
          I’m not claiming that I’m flawless. I have my weaknesses, my sexual fantasies and confusions, but I know God will help me find my true self someday.
          To answer you, Kendry, I comment on your blog because I think you’re an interesting person. But if my mere presence here annoys you that much, I promise not to comment again. Bye.

DH 2019-04-19 16:39:01

<3 <3 nice read… Kava and Kratom can be fun. Cannabis edibles are great! but yeah, I sometimes feel the desire to ingest SOMETHING when I'm at a party where everyone else is ingesting alcohol.

I also feel that the 25% estimate is WAY low… I have no evidence to back it.. it just seems like it should be a lot higher. still a huge number!

Reply

Mat 2019-04-19 20:18:40

Running, nudist, and needle play (oh so yes to needle play), are ways that I can get high.

Have only done MDMA and LSD once each, but they were so amazing that I’d definitely do them again!

Reply

John 2019-04-20 16:05:55

Guys, drugs and alcohol are not the answer. God is the only answer. Realize that real life comes after what you perceive as death and is eternal. Stop living for this temporary world and start living for another, eternal world, where you’ll have the chance to do anything that fullfills you, anything that you were deprived of here. Then nothing will upset you anymore. You’ll be fearless, invincible.

Reply

Stephen 2019-04-22 04:09:49

Speaking of the return of your Abs, looks like David Wraith has been working out bigtime. Welcome to the gun show!

Reply

    Kendra Holliday 2019-04-22 05:17:57

    That pic is a few years old, but David is in great shape right now! I gave him a hug the other day and his muscles felt like rocks. I said, “ew you’re too hard” HA!

    Reply

      John 2019-04-22 05:42:08

      BTW, were you or your brother aroused when you took that nude picture?

      Reply

Enrique Pasion 2019-04-22 15:21:24

This article is very honest and insightful with respect to addiction and ways and suggestions to get over it. Thank you for this and will definitely look forward to your other posts.

Reply

Jul 2019-04-24 09:36:48

Oxy and Vicodin are indeed opioids, but for the purposes of getting high, I would put them in a category with all opiates, including heroin, morphine, opium, codeine, dilaudid, fentanyl, demerol, etc. They’re on a very large spectrum as far as strength, but they’re all variations on a theme. That is to say, you’re wise to avoid heroin, but its cousins are risky in some similar ways, including overdose and addiction. In the bad old days, I was addicted to percocet and demerol, but when they weren’t available, I defaulted to a number of the prescription alternatives.

I asked a friend in recovery how a heroin high differed from a prescription high, assuming he’d say “it’s like having sex in a mossy, moon-dappled clearing with three woodland nymphs versus dry-humping a pillow,” but instead he said, “the main difference is that with prescription drugs, you know that you’re getting what you paid for, your high is guaranteed; you never know how much they cut the heroin.”

I hope the opiate crisis hasn’t hit St. Louis as hard as it has here. Western Mass is a disaster zone. I live in an idyllic little college town, but our area keeps popping up in documentaries and the NY Times’ coverage of some of the hardest-hit areas. It’s breaking my fucking heart to see my brothers & sisters falling down that hole, and I completely understand why they are. When I first contemplated going to school for social work, I figured I’d eventually have to move away to find a more marginalized population to get a job, but at this rate, the need for services will be so great that when I graduate in a couple of years, I’ll be able to walk to work.

None of this is meant to be preachy scare tactics. I still believe that opioids are really good medicine, often the best medicine, for certain types of pain. Short-term use allows people to recover more quickly from physical trauma and surgeries, because we heal faster when we’re not in pain. Long-term use allows some people with chronic pain to be functional when they’d otherwise be bedridden in agony. It SUCKS that the reaction to this epidemic has been to swing the pendulum the other way, from overprescribing these meds to shunning them altogether. A local family practice no longer prescribes any opioid medication, not even codeine, for anything. Including broken bones. What kind of sadist sends a person home with a broken arm and some ibuprofen? The other day I met a neighbor who’s almost completely housebound with a series of medical problems, including severe chronic pain. It was 73 degrees out but she wore three cardigans. Told me she weighed 84 pounds. Told me she had heard of opiate medications but didn’t want to try them for fear of addiction. I tried to gently suggest that she should at least talk to her doctor about it, but what I wanted to say was “What the hell do you have to lose? Even if you do become dependent, if it allows you to function better than you are right now, isn’t it worth it?”

This whole thing is a clusterfuck. Sorry to get on my soapbox, but I’m feeling desperate to see that other people are properly educated, treated, made safe, and are still allowed their dignity as human beings.

Reply

    Stephen 2019-04-26 15:34:00

    No, No, your soapbox is appreciated. Some education in there for me also. Thanks!

    Reply

Annie 2019-04-28 12:52:35

Good on you Kendra! If you include legally prescribed pharmaceuticals, the US population is closer to being 90 % drug abusive, though granted alcohol and opiates are the worst. (and still have medicinal use) We are a drug abuse society. Cannabis is probably the most benign plant based drug available and is a very good substitute for many anti-depressants and other more dangerous substances on the market.

Reply

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