Who Wants to Make Love Not Porn Around Here? I Do!

By Kendra Holliday | December 26, 2012 at 5:36 am

Cindy Gallop. Photograph: Johannes Simon/Getty Images

OK, a little background here.

In 2009, Cindy Gallop created this bold informational site called Make Love Not Porn and gave this even bolder TED talk about how, while porn is great entertainment, it isn’t the best way to learn about your sexuality and how to please your partner. TED couldn’t show her talk in their main run, but felt it worthwhile to share on a lower level where children might not find it as easily.

Her message made an impact, so the next obvious step was to create a sex-positive porn site for everyone – a site that allowed people to share their videos and watch others express their sexuality in myriad of ways – not staged or fake, but real, funny, beautiful, sexy – real bodies, real people, real situations.

The site is called MAKE LOVE NOT PORN TV.

Right now it’s in beta, and I’m a member. I’ve had a peek inside, and I’m enamored!

In fact, I’ve decided I want my very first porn to be featured on this site. It would be such an exciting honor! So, that’s one of my 2013 goals.

Meanwhile, this startup has faced some serious obstacles.

If you’ve read my blog for a while, you’ll recall how my PayPal account was permanently suspended two years ago for having “adult content.” It was shut down right in the middle of my legal defense fundraiser, which was a devastating blow at the time. I remember being on my way to a weekend getaway and learning the news, and bursting into tears. I felt attacked, shut down, punished, and without an alternative, all because I was trying to embrace sexuality without guilt or shame.

To this day, I STILL haven’t found a good online merchant solution. But I’m just one local sex blogger trying to make a sex-positive difference. Surely someone as influential and global as Cindy Gallop would find an easier path toward realizing her sex-positive mission, right?

WRONG.

I got this horrible note in my inbox on Christmas Eve:

Dearest Kendra,

We’re so grateful for your patience and support as our tiny, bootstrapping team continues to build MLNPTV while we real-world test it in beta – with all the usual hitches and glitches.

We need to ask you to be especially supportive right now.

We’re the startup that society doesn’t want you to have. We fight a battle every day to put even the most standard business infrastructure in place, simply because we are ‘adult content’ and we have the word ‘porn’ in our name.

For this reason, we are having to switch credit card processing partners. We had hoped to be able to make the transition seamlessly, but unfortunately we haven’t been able to do so ahead of our previous partner cut-off date – so…

  • Right now, for a short period of time, you won’t be able to pay by credit card. We’re so sorry – we will let you know the minute you can again.
  • We know this is a total pain in the butt, but when we reactivate credit card processing, we’ll need to ask you to re-enter your credit card details in order to carry on renting videos (we’ll prompt you when you sign in to do so).
  • We wish we could offer you PayPal, but PayPal won’t work with us because we’re ‘adult content’. Neither will Amazon, or other mainstream payment processors. This interview with Cindy on Inc. will give you some idea of the hurdles we face every day: http://www.inc.com/chris-beier-and-daniel-wolfman/venture-capital-cindy-gallop-make-love-not-porn.html

Please do consider setting up a Dwolla account to rent our videos: https://www.dwolla.com/ When I pitched MLNPTV to Ben Milne, the founder of Dwolla, he said, ‘Cindy, I don’t know what to say.’ I thought he was about to say ‘No, we can’t work with you’ – and then he said, ‘No, I mean, I really don’t know what to say. I’m from Iowa.’

But Ben got it, and supports us. Like PayPal, when you set up a Dwolla account it takes a couple of days just for bank account confirmation; like PayPal, after that, it’s just as simple and easy to use.

Dwolla only works for the US at the moment, but will be going global in 2013. If you’re US-based, please do consider it. If you’re one of our growing community of non-US, international members – please wait, and we will let you know as soon as we can take credit cards again.

Please do bear with us. Every obstacle we encounter is why we have to do what we’re doing, to drive a more open, healthy attitude towards #realworldsex and end ridiculousness like this. As per the line from the Apple ad, ‘The people crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.’

We’re so glad we have you with us, doing just that.

Cindy, Oonie, Corey, Sarah

Ugh, I’ve been here before. It REALLY sucks. As upsetting as it was to read this update, I felt heartened knowing I am not alone fighting this battle. I’ve got a strong woman wearing a leather catsuit on my side! Society needs to overcome their fear of sex. It’s slowing us down.

Powerfully playful publicity shot of Cindy Gallop with a stable of men

Seriously, watch this – Cindy says it best:
http://www.inc.com/chris-beier-and-daniel-wolfman/venture-capital-cindy-gallop-make-love-not-porn.html

I get the same feedback she does every day – sexual inspiration and liberation changes lives for the better. We are making a difference! A happier and healthier society is worth the struggle.

Comments

rarry 2012-12-26 13:53:22

I think large porn sites have to be doing something to handle their accounts. Either it’s from banks in the Cayman Islands or whatever. Of course, that means they’re not regulated, and that can be dangerous.

I’m thinking that there’s some federal regulation that’s in the way. It would help to find out what it is. Transaction companies, such as Paypal will also go running at the mention of sex and money in the same sentence. It sounds too close to “prostitution” to their untrained ears. If it turns out they’re handling money for prostitution it makes them feel open to conspiracy, trafficking, and money laundering charges.

I would try to find out the regulations that are standing in the way and change them. Have people call congressional banking committee members and keep bothering them. The only other way to do it is to give to a congressional election campaign. That requires money and a bank account. Or perhaps a SuperPAC.

Reply

Gabriel 2012-12-30 18:22:54

Quad graphics became wildly successful because they were willing to print Playboy Magazine. I’m sure that some payment processing company will come out on top because of their open mind.

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db 2013-01-01 13:55:09

it’s not censorship that ruined CC processing for adult, it was unscrupulous adult sites. it could be said that banks would love to process adult money, as there is a premium to be made. hell they were even processing online gambling as fast as they could right up until the govt. threatened them with a ricoh suit unless they stopped.

but there was scandal after scandal in the 90′s in adult and both visa and m/c finally called bullshit. here in st. louis heartland bank was involved in a major adult scandal. i suppose it somewhat goes with the territory. adult in the US is a dirty business.

there are some processors that handle it though. ccbill, ibill, epoch?
hope she builds something cool. chatsworth should be put out of business IMO. nothing good comes out of there…………

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